All Aphorisms
A list of all aphorisms, newest appear at the top.
As Confucius said, "Beware of the wise man...you know what he wants."
Joe Cool
Using this website like some do to advertise your wears has got to be really ripe -- its got to be real juicy! & Its so bad its good!
Chris Lees --we go one better!
* When Caligula appointed his horse to the Senate, the horses of Rome thought they were human.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Newspaper “London-Info № 15 2012)
Leonid Sukhorukov
Idleness must thank itself if it goes barefoot in the park without a care in the world.
The Masked Aphorist
* Idols are forever!
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When smashing idols, always begin with your own.
marty rubin
He that goes a-wondering barefoot in the park, must not plant thorns in the flower-beds.
The Masked Aphorist
* Sod’s Second Law: “The probability of a sandwich slipping from your fingers is directly proportional to your eagerness to eat it”.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If you are not still in the race then you are out of the running.
Terry Byrne
"Hominem te esse memento! Memento mori!"
"Remember that you are but a man! Remember that you'll die!"
d g
Beware of those bearing bribes that do not appear to be tax deductible.
Terry Byrne
* Can a common language exist within common sense?
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
After silence, that which comes closest to expressing the inexpressible is sniffling.
John Alejandro King
* Madly busy doesn’t mean wisely busy.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The business rule that you just have to obey is probably the last one you shall ever need.
Terry Byrne
A profitable business is a link in a lucrative chain of events with a worker yanking on both ends.
Terry Byrne
Dissimulation, n. The subtle art of self-defence with a red-hot poker: Never play tic-tac-toe without it.
Amerec Bibrose, Jr.
-Dissimulation, even the most innocent in its nature, is ever productive of embarrassment; whether the design is evil or not, artifice is always dangerous and almost inevitably disgraceful.-
Jean de La Bruyère
Dissimulation is a form of deception in which one conceals the truth. It differs from simulation, in which one exhibits false information. Dissimulation commonly takes the form of concealing one's ability in order to gain the element of surprise over an opponent.
d g
If you drink too much you drivel-shit... but that's no reason to stop the flow.
N. H.
I want death to find me fiddling about with my little peccadilloes with an open mind.
The Masked Aphorist
Experience teaches us this: It is not only having a bad experience that can kill us, as remembering that we had it can as well.
The Masked Aphorist
If you have found no rule of business that you want to follow, invent one.
Terry Byrne
* What is liberty? Being imprisoned by creativity.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Not only can you fall off the floor, you can land face first on the ceiling.
John Alejandro King
Never expect anyone to tell you a rule of business that gives you an advantage over what he does in business.
Terry Byrne
Do your work. Don't be stupid.
Sam Shaw
An epiphany to my reader: I didn't say nothing here like this one (below): * "Time flies --you've got to learn to grab hold of it by its f*****g tail!" And it's not even an aphorism it's just a sentence. (Nice laugh though - as it certainly needed to be said.)
The Masked Aphorist
* We can play with time, but not fool it.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Even the mortuary clock keeps on ticking.
marty rubin
Time flies --you've got to learn to grab hold of it by its f*****g tail!
The Masked Aphorist
All truths are not to be told, some are always good enough to be kept secret.
The Masked Aphorist
* The chicken egos or the eggs? The controversy is littered with egoshells.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Elimination of Egocentrism—the ability to view things from another's perspective (even if they think incorrectly). For instance, show a child a comic in which Jane puts a doll under a box, leaves the room, and then Melissa moves the doll to a drawer, and Jane comes back. A child in the concrete operations stage will say that Jane will still think it's under the box even though the child knows it is in the drawer
d g
Justify behavior that opposes your views: Students judge cheating less harshly after being induced to cheat on a test
Derive Creativity
Gold's silver lining is when you use Gold to get what you want.
d g
* Does gold have its silver lining?
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When fortune smiles on you, check to see if she's licking her chops.
John Alejandro King
Money is merely a toy – a child’s plaything – but one which nobody ever really gets tired of playing with, no matter how mature he is.
Terry Byrne
To write an aphorism your mind must be full of many, many indigestible little titbits, but why then are they there and not in the guts where they belong, is that not the question?
The Masked Aphorist
* Green tax on Red Bulls!
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Fuck the clubers!!!
William Kodama
Words, like people, hate to be the slaves of ideas.
marty rubin
you are my equal. Stay away from words like they, them, those. Instead you must only use words that have a positive connotation; us, we, I, and you. Judge but do not condemn people, unless you have been in a situation similar to the person you want to condemn. The latter will let you understand people you hate.
The below is another way to understand the latter;
1. the stigmatized are those who bear the stigma;
2. the normals are those who do not bear the stigma; and
3. the wise are those among the normals who are accepted by the stigmatized as "wise" to their condition (borrowing the term from the homosexual community).
d g
just like a diamond, if you don't grind you dont shine
cloyd dowling
Since when does life hand out free fruit???
John Alejandro King
The cranial cavity is the shortest bus of all.
John Alejandro King
Stepping into another person's shoes might equally make you run in the opposite direction.
Mark Vernon
There're no gains without pains, but that doesn't mean you have to sit down on the job.
The Masked Aphorist
* Knowledge learns but wisdom knows.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Even our most treasured regrets can be forgotten about, when we have no further use for them.
The Masked Aphorist
Everything is something else in drag.
John Alejandro King
Greatness lies not merely in being strong; greatness lies generally.
John Alejandro King
Sometimes things have to get better before they can get worse.
John Alejandro King
And you shall be known by the truth, after which the truth shall set you free.
John Alejandro King
Provide a man with a mask and he will hide his peccadilloes behind it, and then ask for more.
The Masked Aphorist
The road to hell is paved with careful planning.
marty rubin
* Nothing sharpens the hearing as much as a pregnant pause.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* A mirage is an evaporating reality.
Leonid S Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
God gave us two ears and only one mouth for a reason: so we would learn to speak up!
John Alejandro King
Imagination is weightless.
Marc Shanker
* A lake is the vicious circle of a river.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
And yo whatever comes up comes out
We don't put our hands over our mouth
And whatever comes up comes out
We don't put our hands over our mouth
Whatever comes up comes out
Please mister bass-man lay it on me
Ayo, Dependin on the day, and dependin on what I ate
I'm anywhere from 20 to 35 pounds over weight
I got red eyes and one of them's lazy
And they both squint when the sun shines so I look crazy
I'm albino man, I know I'm pink and pale
And I'm hairy as hell, everywhere but fingernails
I shave a cranium that ain't quite shaped right
Face tight, shiny, I stay up and write late nights
My wardrobe is jeans and faded shirts
A mixture of what I like, and what I wear to work
I'm not mean and got a neck full of razor bumps
I'm not the classic profile of what the ladies want
You might think I'm depressed as can be
But when I look in the mirror I see sexy ass me
And if that's somethin that you can't respect then that's peace
My life's better without you actually
To everyone out there, who's a little different
I say damn a magazine, these are gods fingerprints
You can call me ugly but can't take nothing from me
I am what I am doctor you ain't gotta love me
[Spoken]
If you would please turn in your bible
To beauty tips according to Forest Whitiker
In the third chapter of the third line
Brother Ali would you please read to the choir for me son
[Sung 3X]
I'ma be all right, you ain't gotta be my friend tonight (you ain't gotta love me)
An I'ma be okay, you would probably bore me anyway (you ain't gotta love me)
Forest Whitiker y'all
d g
A wave is no less free because the current helps it along.
marty rubin
* The sun makes rainbows, but only with the rain.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* When the heart grows fonder, it works harder.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The beginnings and endings of things are always sad affairs.
The Masked Aphorist
Express yourself! Express yourself as much as you can within your moral limits. Even so if you feel a certain way but believe you should feel another way, you haven't matured yet. Mature means you can express yourself fully and feel what you are expressing is what's right
d g
If you don't do something because you've never done it before you haven't realized this: At this moment in time (right now), you are doing something you've never done before, reading this quote.
d g
Being awake to your life
'Mindfulness' simply means paying attention to the present moment - the opposite of living our present life on 'autopilot', caught up in thoughts about the past or the future. It is a simple yet powerful skill for gaining appropriate control of our minds and actions.
d g
If you think self denial is possible, well it's not.
You get joy from denying yourself other joys.
So if you try and stop the joy of denial...well you'll be a completely new person.
You'll start accepting everything; sex, food, being what you are.
Go for moderation; go for what's fun and healthy.
d g
it's okay to feel the way you feel. Acting abnormal to an abnormal situation is normal. And acting abnormal to a normal situation can be normal too. It's what makes you, you.
Abnormal=normal
Lifes a shade of gray. So everything made sense until I came to my senses and realized that nothing really makes sense.
d g
Get out there, be heard, be seen!
d g
Instead of asking how do you do that? Recognize what their doing is cool man, and enjoy it.
think about it later...you'll figure it out.
d g
* The worst things in others’ characters are well hidden in our own.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If only it were as easy to have a wank in public as it is to banish the pangs of hunger by going to McDonald’s then the world would be a much happier place.
The Masked Aphorist
Whenever God closes one orifice, He opens another.
John Alejandro King
"Like herding cats" ... you mean, like opening a can of tuna???
John Alejandro King
* Experience revises experience.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* We cannot live without something living within.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Those who come to live in a Golden Age are still disappointed by how jaundiced everything looks.
The Masked Aphorist
* Do good and expect no return; enjoy the surprise.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When Hemingway said "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk," was he drunk or sober?
John Alejandro King
Any man can think up an aphorism, but can he still understand it after he's written it out?
Dill Smith
The camel going to seek horns lost its ears...but we may never know why.
The Masked Aphorist
We should mistrust the voice within us all that tells us that we are right and everybody else is wrong, as we are not all a megalomaniac like John is.
Long Lizzy!
A good-looking woman in a fur coat should never be downtrodden by a hairy biker in leather boots.
Save our furry friends
One corrects one's errors by repeating them.
marty rubin
The ultimate onomatopoeia of truth is a word that makes no sound.
John Alejandro King
'Tis not the tempest we dread, but the water damage.
John Alejandro King
The world needs more heroes – its soup is tasting a little thin.
John Alejandro King
If we cannot laugh at ourselves somebody else will have to do it for us.
...I talk to myself --frequently!
* Quote from a job reference: “He wouldn’t hurt a fly but will turn it into an elephant.”
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
You're not finished anything until you've cleaned up the mess you've made.
James Geary
* Politics is always bitter, because all the sweet comes ahead.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Its not much a poetic way, to turn an aphoristic site into your own opinion poll.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A gesture is as good as a word to a policeman with his back to the world.
The Masked Aphorist
Here is a very bad aphorism for the purpose of illustrative quotation.
Don, the poet.
* Poetry is well versed at enlivening the prosaic.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
There's nothing more believable than a Kosher Vulcan.
1 Spaced-out super-Nerd!
We're all drowning, but don't say it out loud.
marty rubin
Just think, if drugs weren't so dangerous we could all be on them and nobody would notice the difference.
The Masked Aphorist.
It's not a real surprise party unless you don't know who you're giving it for.
John Alejandro King
If a statement begs a question, don't give it one. It's only going to use the question to get alcohol or drugs.
John Alejandro King
People who don't need people are the second luckiest people in the world.
John Alejandro King
No pains can take away the pangs of sorrow, which is a shame.
The Masked Aphorist
* The thinner our sense of humor the more fatuous the jokes of others.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
One of the signs of the triumph over nature: there are so many facetious people.
Paul Hurt
* World’s local congratulations to all women in The International Women’s Day!
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Where there is great love, flowers can never be enough.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* The human brain, in all its majesty, can grasp anything but the immense power of its ubiquity...
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
We cannot ourselves grasp a strange inconstancy of ubiquity, as it seems so much like an insatiable inadequacy of alacrity.
Alfred Askew
Enjoy this moment: this moment is your life.
Alacadaisius …
* Ignorance is the easiest route to decisions.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The worst abuse of freedom is to deny that it exists.
marty rubin
* It would be a mistake to make making mistakes a human right. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* “Mistakes increase in severity by degrees according to the degree of misunderstanding of the more complex issues occurring in the mistakes varies.”
Byrne’s Mistaken Axiom."
This quote HAS NEVER BEEN PRINTED HERE by Leonid Sukhorukov
Thanks for a joke.
Leonid Sukhorukov
* “Mistakes increase in severity by degrees according to the degree of misunderstanding of the more complex issues occurring in the mistakes varies.”
Byrne’s Mistaken Axiom.
Leonid Sukhorukov
If socializing is a waste of time, effort and money, so is time-wasting in a brothel.
Donald Montgomery
* Without a dream you’ll never wake up your goal.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The meaning of life is that there is no meaning -- get over it!
Jolly Jim, lacklustre limpid Jalopy jollier.
A fool can ask as many daft questions in half-an-hour of brainstorming sessions than a wise man could answer in a whole day of motivational feel-good lectures.
The Masked Aphorist
* The less oil in speech, the better it’s lubricated.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The body that wears a microkini cannot wear a suicide vest.
John Alejandro King
Don't search on the phrase "stupid quotes" – it just returns quotes about being stupid.
John Alejandro King
Texting without contexting is pretexting.
John Alejandro King
"Order! Order!" The Walrus said, but nobody could get what he was on at the time.
The Masked Aphorist's apprentice
* Order is a temporary disorder in a chaotic system.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
True order is what the wind creates by scattering the leaves.
marty rubin
Winter weather and women's thoughts change often...
The Masked Aphorist
There are two essential things for a woman to aim at in life, whether she either stands up, or sits down: One: the toilet bowl; and two: the toilet bowl.
Dirty Harriet!
* There are two kinds of people: the kind and the rest of mankind. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* There are two things to aim for in life: live with honour and die the same way.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
What they call dumbing down is usually smarting up.
John Alejandro King
To copy: is this not already to paste?
John Alejandro King
You can tell a lot about a person by what they think you can tell a lot about a person by.
John Alejandro King
Some comedians will swim through raw sewage if there’s a few quid in it.
Terry Byrne
* First Law of Solution: Each part of a solution has hidden part of a problem.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
You can eat a scotch egg with Hemingway, but you can never share it with him.
Isobel Dixon
The sea is full of clams who want to teach dolphins how to swim.
marty rubin
The only way to make money is to be smart enough to make it, and before doing that you’ve got to be smart enough to keep it.
Terry Byrne
* The sole advantage of Neo-Democracy:you are always free to do what they want.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Secret 938187. The early parasite gets everybody.
John Alejandro King
* A human brain starts functioning at birth, and stops while writing aphorisms.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Life is full of doors and fools with the wrong keys.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The dissimilated monkeys of dejection are more meaningful than the autocephalous mice of miasma.
- Incredulous 1!!!
Indifference to humanity is the essence of humanity!
Awooooowh—Wherewolfs of London!
You haven’t been taxed enough until you’ve been taxed to death.
Terry Byrne
* Passion is an explosion of truth.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A comet was so ahead of its time no one noticed it.
marty rubin
We all wear masks...metaphorically speaking...that is, with a pinch of salt...
The Masked Aphorist
Forget wikiHow, I need wikiWhy.
John Alejandro King
Reality: the ultimate awkward moment.
John Alejandro King
* None of us is perfectly relevant in this world of complete irrelevance.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The relevance of the incursion of irrelevance is only mitigated by the relevance of the irrelevancy.
Anon Y. Mous.
* Going too far is never far enough.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When it's time to "go for it," only going too far is far enough.
Orrible Orifice of Obfuscation.
Ambition is the essential quality for those who would do better, or else they would not quite know where to begin.
Ian P. Freely.
Even the greatest aphorisms are only as farts in the wind, and when the wind blows off only the wind remains.
James Geary
Make your next bid for victory from where you are actually already standing tall.
The Masked Aphorist
Always expecting to get what you want is expecting too little of life.
marty rubin
* Warning: “Big money can reduce one’s character to nominal values.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Money is: MONEY! There’s not much more to say about it.
Terry Byrne
Infallibility is something you more or less fall into.
John Alejandro King
You never hear the phrase 'Get a life!' anymore. I guess everyone got a life.
John Alejandro King
What you can't solve, franchise.
John Alejandro King
There’s no such thing as “mere money” – not if it’s “your money”, there’s not!
Terry Byrne
When everything has been said that is worth saying, you're going to have to prove it too.
The Masked Aphorist
If you don't stand for anything, you'll end up with potty-rot!
The Masked Aphorist
A wave is no less free because the current helps it along.
marty rubin
* The balance of human nature: the more we want, the less we need.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Secret 4081217. If you don't stand for something, you can't fall for anything.
John Alejandro King
May your hopes never be dashed, but rather comma-delimited.
John Alejandro King
Before we get into a pissing contest here, is the prize for height, quantity, or force per square meter?
John Alejandro King
The source is the method, and the method is the source.
John Alejandro King
To get your foot in the proverbial door jam, first stop sucking it.
The Masked Aphorist
* A cheerful smile doubles the gift.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Nothing is still something, for nothing is the absence of something, making it something.
... Anonomous
Decorative art will flourish under any suppressive regieme, while creativity, of course, will always find a way to express itself.
Frisky Phil Shaw
If you judge only by the most superficial appearances, so many people have depth.
Paul Hurt
Money begets money, true enough; but it's the inbreeding between it that creates the haves and the have-nots.
Terry Byrne
* Those who embrace hope, are married to beliefs.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If it can be prepared for, it isn't the worst.
John Alejandro King
The camouflage you admire doesn't deserve it.
John Alejandro King
If there wasn't a method to it, it wouldn't be madness.
John Alejandro King
When the people demand the truth, and those in power respond with silence, why is it assumed that those in power are being untruthful?
John Alejandro King
That the sun has burnt you is no argument against it.
marty rubin
Forget everybody else's input: the hardest fight for freedom is with oneself.
The Masked Aphorist
* Politics is the art of hiding failures by praising them.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Please secure your own virtues before assisting others.
Peter Capofreddi
Pleasure secure your own virtues before assisting others.
Peter Capofreddi
It's going to take a long time before all possible word sequences have been written down (or spoken) and therefore aphorisms will continue for some time yet, I expect.
Chris Cooper
Two things are basic: "Never take anything for granted, or you'll get a kick up the backside for it," and, "There's no rest for the wicked, they're always too busy." These are two things you should know, should you think you're "up for it".
Dillon Matthews
Words can't save you, but they can give you courage.
marty rubin
People are naturally competitive, but if they have nothing left to fight over they can always do business together instead.
Terry Byrne
* Beware of brevity – it’s power!
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Confuscious say: "He who chases dragons, will find dragons chasing him!"
Anon Y. Mous
* History is always ahead of schedule.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Spying ain't all that bad an occupation, vocation or employment, so long as you've still got someone to spy on.
John Alejandro King
It's not whether you win or lose, it's why you think there's a game.
John Alejandro King
Remember, every motherf***er is some f***ermother's child.
John Alejandro King
The on-ramp to heaven is paved with morally ambiguous intentions.
John Alejandro King
"Never assume nothing about no thing, for it makes an asinus out of thou, and me."
Aldo Manuzio.
Joe Cool
It's not at all unreasonable to feel sorry for someone who is happier than you are.
Paul Hurt
Philosophy is a maze with many entrances but no exit.
marty rubin
* We are all foolish plants in our beautiful and controversial garden of life.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Happy New Year To All!
Leonid Sukhorukov
“If a fool plants a beautiful garden, is he still a fool?” (Marty Rubin)
* Yes, if he is a fool, he is still a beautifully fruitful fool. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If a fool plants a beautiful garden, is he still a fool?
marty rubin
* Fools are God's food for thought.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Being a jester is a serious business, one not to be taken lightly by fools.
The Masked Aphorist
* The mathematics of life: reason + laughter = enlaughtenment. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* If God is our judge, we can always expect absolution.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* When the military is armed to the teeth, peace bites the dust.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
No man is a kangaroo if he believes himself to be a koala, and yet he could be so much more than this, despite apparently being hoping mad.
Alain de Botton.
Before you invite anyone into your room, open the window, it clears the air marvellously.
Mr. Hahahahahahahahahahah!
Worthless knowledge is something you can pick up very easily, like crabs, while getting rid of it is easier still, as you just have to forget about it.
Mr. I Tickle
If today seems like Christmas day for you every day of the year, don't worry about it, as tomorrow is always another day!
Savage Santa
You can read your future in the tealeaves, provided you don't take it all too much to heart.
The Masked Aphorist
Never attribute to Dallas that which is adequately explained by Corpus Christi.
John Alejandro King
Writing is like life: it goes on.
marty rubin
Say as others say, but think it yourself.
The Masked Aphorist
Money is secondary unless you don’t have any, in which case it all becomes relatively meaningless.
Terry Byrne
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide.
KA- -BOOM!
Confucius say: "Beware the thickness of the thickest fellow, it could turn out to be you!"
Right-O !
Reasons you can always wonder about...as they are wondrous things.
The Masked Aphorist
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us, for at heart we are full of bull-shine, and we know it.
The Masked Aphorist
When it’s time to go for it, only going too far is far enough.
’Orrible Orifice of Obfuscation.
Truth is an outlaw in every country.
marty rubin
You can think what you like, if you can, but don't for a moment think that it's free.
Jimmy Jones
"People come and people go, which is something you should know."
Friendless in Bagmon
Mistakes happen all the more regularly all according as to how often you let them.
Phileas Fogg
Aphorisms are like bananas [or, an aphorism is like a banana]: they [bananas] are always acceptable to an appreciative audience (of talking monkeys).
The Masked Aphorist
You cannot be right all the time, but you can always try harder.
Bill Wiener
(Actually, just between you and me, I *am* a robot.)
John Alejandro King
Accurate: less than accurate, plus more than accurate, times half.
John Alejandro King
The term 'grisly discovery' is a redundancy.
John Alejandro King
Tweak the system; don't let it tweak you.
The Masked Aphorist
If you want to explore triviality, just go to Twitter. That's the best place for it.
The Masked Aphorist
In life, having two half-biscuits are better than having a non-existent biscuit, albeit that biscuit be a whole one.
The Masked Aphorist
The cruelest fate: martyr to a cause you don't believe in.
marty rubin
Mystics who are 'deep' are out of their depth.
Paul Hurt
The sea shells on the sea shore are many and varied, you are also like the sea shell on the sea shore.
Allan Bryan
* If all people call you a duck, just enjoy their quacking.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
"opinions are like trash cans, everyone has one, some are just bigger and smell more than others."
Dean Jones
If someone calls you a duck, don’t bother. If two people call you a duck, they are probably joking, but if three people say you are a duck you better start quacking!
Dean Jones
"winners never trully win and losers never trully lose, while the only true losers are the ones who never participated in the first place"
Dean Jones
"winners never trully win and losers never trully lose, while the only true winners are the ones who never participated in the first place"
Dean Jones
Listen to the wisdom of the toothless ones, for that is all there is left of them.
(Old Fijian proverb)
Chief Titti Boogie
A business that isn’t fun must be pretty serious, or just serious enough to be taken with a pinch of salt.
Terry Byrne
The smoke never returns to the fire.
marty rubin
while one can say they have humility you shouldn't always take there word... a test works best
Dean Jones
A bully can steal your lunch, but he cannot take your pride
Dean Jones
Where there's life, there's food.
Zrathgar Raghtarz
Pens may blot the page - but they can't blush!
Anne Puzzlewitt.
In the far future, we are fossils.
Jon Drew
* There are things in life that money can't buy, but they are sold later for money we can’t acquire.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Anything that elicits an immediate nod of recognition has only reconfirmed a prejudice.
Donald Paterson
Peddle your own bike to oblivion, peddling anyone else's just makes you saddle sore.
The Masked Aphorist
Ethics not based on other people's crap can't be all that effective a moral enema.
The Masked Aphorist
It's not a real surprise party unless you don't know who you're giving it for. - The Covert Comic (from 'The Naked Intelligence Officer')
John Alejandro King
The scene is the crime.
John Alejandro King
What's in a name, two pints of lager and a packet of crisps? Naw, not even that!
Anonymus Anonymous
Everybody's faults aren't written on their forehead, but you can spot a wierdo a mile off.
Allan Archer
Everybody's faults aren't written on their forehead, but you can spot a wierdo a mile off.
Allan Archer
Christmas is Christmas and business is business, and business at Christmas isn’t over until it’s over.
Terry Byrne
Art demands a willingness to avoid short cuts, and to acquire insights at ruinous cost.
Paul Hurt
The wisdom of fools is the domain of wise men.
The Masked Aphorist
Haters just need a kiss; Liars just need a hug!
Evan Wen
The oyster never felt so free as when a thief stole her pearl.
marty rubin
Successful business is founded on ordinary hardworking people...even the downtrodden ones beneath its notice.
Terry Byrne
Every nut starts out like a little acorn, but it doesn't stop there unfortunately.
William Kent
A flat tyre never goes anywhere without being inflated.
The Masked Aphorist
* Self-flattery feeds vanity by poisoning the mind.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Flattery is the sincerest form of imitation, and vice-versa, etc., etc., etc.
The Masked Aphorist
To the impostor who is pretending to be Marty Rubin, thank you:
Imitation is still the sincerest form of flattery.
And I enjoyed your fertilizer quote. I thought it was quite good. So maybe you should start using your real name.
marty rubin
* Fashion is not backward in coming forward.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If you know how to study, you know how to win.
Harriet Warden
The writer must be four people:
1) the nut, the obsédé: supplies the material
2) the moron: lets it come out
3) the stylist: is taste
4) the critic: is intelligence
Susan Sontag
http://soepvanjoep.tumblr.com/
Leonid Sukhorukov
Nothing dries sooner than crocodile tears on a rainy day in the swamp of human excitement.
Donny S. Smith
If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
Tom Peters
Leonid Sukhorukov
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle, indeed, he's a candidate for a basket case.
Popsy Bradbury
Words are fascinating things, particularly when you can't quite understand what they mean.
The Masked Aphorist
* The Achilles' heel of Achilles was his broken Wheel of Fortune. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Great words in action are louder than swords. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The Achilles' heel of Achilles' heel was Achilles. - The Covert Comic
John Alejandro King
Secret 0.7918981. The disguise is the blessing. - The Covert Comic
John Alejandro King
Action stutters louder than words. - The Covert Comic
John Alejandro King
There's never a new fashion that it doesn't get old sooner or later.
Jim Outhwaite
Shit has absolutely nothing to do with aphorisms, except as fertilizer for the mind.
marty rubin
Push, and you shall find a purpose, if only it's to be found at the doors of a maternity ward.
Harriet Warden
Beware of demanding your rights too vigorously in public; more often or not they are just duties you do not wish to perform in disguise.
Anthony B. Hardwick.
Joe Cool
The "poetic" aphorist is like a ripe melon basking in the hot summer sunshine: you know that sooner or later it's going to burst and the seeds will go everywhere.
The Masked Aphorist
When you live next door to a crematorium the smoke gets in your eyes, but you can't weep for everyone.
The Masked Aphorist
The great battle in the world is finding a reason to get up in the morning besides work, once you've cracked that you've got it made.
The Masked Aphorist
One writes aphorisms because they're the closest one can get to writing nothing.
marty rubin
If you want to start your own business you need three things: balls, balls, and more balls!
Swami Raj
The truth is out there, we just don't know where to find it.
Anonymus Anonymous
If you wish to live wisely ignore all wise sayings, including ones like this one.
Anonymus Anonymous
There is a path to wisdom through aphorisms, but only a fool would take it.
Jimmy Spankme
The problem with having all the answers is that after a time you forget what most of them are all about anyway.
The Masked Aphorist
The question is, what's the answer?
Tyler Docherty (Age 6)
It's one world. We are all neighbors. We sing one song. Uni-Verse.
Elizabeth Wenner
* Believing your child nurtures truth.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* The vanity of creativity is in our blood, but we hate it in others, and ignore it in ourselves.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Secret 9271121. Don't be so quick to jump from conclusions.
John Alejandro King
The present is pregnant with the future. And when I find out who knocked her up, he's history.
John Alejandro King
Action stutters louder than words.
John Alejandro King
If he is truly wise, a wise man will choose to kick up just as much fuss about the way he leaves the world as he chose to do when he came into it, only the fool will never understand why.
The Masked Aphorist
If you run out of luck you'd better make sure you don't run out of money too.
Swami Raj
What happens to a dream when no one is dreaming it?
marty rubin
Sightless darkness is lighless night -- darker than light --darkness incarnate --yes!
Joseph Padget
Vanity is "hokum"—it's full of pomposity—so watch it!
The Masked Aphorist
Cool is as cool does.
Johan Scribbulus
Sometimes, one's just go to say, "Fly me, I'm Josephine!"
marty rubin
When you look at life, you look at death. There is no two ways about it.
Jimbo Jones
Incompetence at the top should never be tolerated by those at the bottom.
Vladimir Putin
Self-evident untruths and half-truths will always be popular.
Paul Hurt
In the midst of eternity infinity looks to be a long way off, but it's getting closer.
The Masked Aphorist
If you make waves in the dessert you will drown in whipped cream.
The Masked Aphorist
I have conclusive proof that you don't read these comments, sent a message to gearyjames@gmail to confirm my suspicions that you have not recieved this message.
John Alejandro King
Let the unemployables employ the unemployables; the rest of us can do the work.
Chris Grayling
Not offering an opinion one way or the other, but when I looked up the word 'conspiracy' in the dictionary this morning, it wasn't there. - The Covert Comic @ www.covertcomic.com
John Alejandro King
What should we avoid the plague like? - The Covert Comic @ www.covertcomic.com
John Alejandro King
If you need anything, just let me no.
John Alejandro King
A man is like a tree, only he won't admit it.
Uria Smythe
Don't put crap in the porridge, the teddy-bears don't like it.
Scally Wag
Don't let any more loonies out of the aslyums on day release today, there's enough out here already!
The Masked Aphorist
Praise the one who thinks for you, for he does not know what he does.
Dan, Dan, the Plumber!
* Envy brings hatred but moves progress ahead.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Vanity is for the nerds (as in "twats"), and there's a lot of it about.
The Masked Aphorist
The child's naive dream of life is the only one worth having.
marty rubin
Only in Haiti do the dead come back as Zombies, over here they're called drug addicts.
Swami Raj
* It’s much easier to blow the horn of plenty when it’s empty.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Lackadaisical inconsequence --a split infinitive --now!
Joe Padget
* We are all different: for some nothing means Everything, for others everything is complete shit.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Swinging two cats around a darkened room can nearly be as enlightening as swinging only one, if not more so.
James Geary
Even on the blink of an eye the next blink could become something to be looked forward to.
The Masked Aphorist
if parrots tweat at nothing and dodo's fly backwards from danger, some kind of mistake must be occuring in limbo today.
Al Frewen
* A brilliant madness of The Kind Mind.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If you're cruel to be kind, what are you kind to be?
John Alejandro King
* To cloud the issue, muddy the water!
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
You get just one chance to dip your toe in the river; might as well make a splash.
James Geary
Silence is a form of communication. Speech divides us.
David Malouf
Treat indifference with indifference, and animosity with contempt, anything else can be laughed at.
The Masked Aphorist
With great irresponsibility comes great power.
Silke O'Reilly
The disturbed nudge of the usual aphorism is like an old soldier going to war: full of old tales of past glory and good advice no one ever needs delivered to order.
disgruntelment in tunes
Powerful emotion is the Guide, through it there is Purpose; Ignorance is the tool of Power, through it there is Control; Hatred is the flower of Passion, through it there is Compulsion; Chaos is Opportunity, Opportunity gives Power; There is no doom in Death, eternally there is the Force.
Unknown Sith Lord.
Darth Sinistreus II
Compressed minds; Impressed melons.
Dirk Diddler
Actually, you *can* handle the truth, provided you wear low lint monofilament polyvinyl chloride dotted nylon gloves.
John Alejandro King
Cynicism is hard to maintain when balancing on one's right leg while touching one's nose with one's left forefinger and patting the top of one's head with one's right hand in front of two laughing policemen, but with the right mind-set it can be done.
Ashley Hardwick.
The proof of intelligence is that you don't esteem it too highly.
marty rubin
Impressed melons; compressed minds.
Dirk Diddler
"Necessity" is a mother of the bloody good grin!
The Masked Aphorist
Selfless acts should never go unpunished; selfish acts should never go un-praised.
The Masked Aphorist
You put your foot on the break and you forget why you're living.
Swami Raj
The greatest success comes when the struggle to achieve it is used to create something better; the struggle is part of the journey towards getting there.
The Masked Aphorist
You can improve the world all day but by night it's back the way it was.
marty rubin
Desire is the entrance to the house of fun through the back door.
Swami Raj
Corollary: If you don't get a silly answer, you didn't ask a silly question. - The Covert Comic
John Alejandro King
Necessity is the mother-in-law of patents.
John Alejandro King
"To be overrated is underrated."
The Covert Comic.
John Alejandro King
Writing, like all other forms of art, should first and foremost be about having fun.
Tim Daly
If only we might fall like Cherry blossoms in the spring --so pure and radiant.
Anon Ymous
Questions beg answers...which you should counter with a question.
Swami Raj
Accepting blame is often a subterfuge for stopping criticism.
Solomon Slade
With but a single exception, foxes too enjoy the chase. - The Covert Comic
Chris Childs
I am after all one page in God’s eternal book of creation, tattered and burned when my page is turned over.
Gaurav Ojha
It's a world eat world world.
John Alejandro King
In an opposite universe, people don't laugh so that they won't cry, they cry so that they won't laugh. – Why We Couldn't Possibly Be Living in an Opposite Universe, Reason 5681514 (The Covert Comic @ www.covertcomic.com)
John Alejandro King
The scientist seeks laws; the historian, causes; the artist, freedom.
marty rubin
DUE TO CURCUMSTANCES
PRESENTLY BEYOND OUR CONTROL,
THIS WEB PAGE IS PRESENTLY SUSPENED
FOR ALL FURTHER SUBMISSIONS.
The Management.
An aphorism a day keeps the laughter in play.
The Masked Aphorist
* Many a man scratches his head firing his brain. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A man can always scratch his balls in consternation, but it will do him no good in the long run.
The Masked Aphorist
We've all got a bit left; that's all there is to it.
Swami Raj
* Tomorrow is the optimistic path to the past.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Tomorrow is another day...it will always be there.
collete B
I may not be here tomorrow, but I may be wrong about it.
Jon Drew
I am not... I do not mind...
Jack Thade.
You are.
Leonid Sukhorukov
I am. Whether I think or not.
marty rubin
* Lightning makes its best day at night.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If you live, make sure it doesn't bury you.
Swami Raj
* In a democracy, saying without thinking, is adequate to think without saying.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
According to the rules of logic, if you say it without thinking, the statement 'I think, therefore I am' is always true. - The Covert Comic
John Alejandro King
You don't pass your prime, you dig out from under it. - The Covert Comic
John Alejandro King
Most people learn to come to terms with their inadequacies, most cynics never do.
Algernon Fossdyke
* The wise spider does not trap the high-flyer fly.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Push, and you shall find.
Jon Drew
There is a place for gods in every advanced society, but it should never interfere with the worship of money.
Mixitmytoeswithit Kid
The trap shall always close upon the entrapped.
Royn-Ber Wendjaifa
There is a black sheep in every flock of pigeons; perhaps he's just out of place there.
Alfie Moon.
I sindacalisti combattono la disoccupazione.
La propria.
Paolo D'Ugo
Wise men count backwards towards zero. They know that's where true contentment lies.
marty rubin
A wise man never argues...
Swami Raj
Eternity is a mere moment - just long enough for a joke!
Herman H. Hermit.
The height of wisdom is a multiple of √-1. (The Covert Comic)
Olga Balatsenko
We all die the same way, but we all disagree over the details.
Sabahudin Hadzialic
Later, things may change, but that's too late to change them now.
Swami Raj
Inside a camel with the hump, there are many, many undigestible little desserts.
John Alejandro King
WIJGTDI: When Is Jesus Going To Do It??? - The Covert Comic
Chris Childs
When some people's names come up, it's a case of mistaken identity by definition. - The Covert Comic
Chris Childs
Is the cream really rising, or is the rest of the milk in decline? - The Covert Comic
Chris Childs
They say the worst isn't so bad when it finally happens. But the best is. - The Covert Comic
Chris Childs
In my own mind I am a fine feline fellow and I roam wherever I please...but all this has come to is that I come eventually to a place exactly like this one...one without catnip for the mind.
Felix Flighty
Live! It's no good if you just think about it.
marty rubin
* With rose tinted glasses, no white spots exist.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Don't be a clot, be a spammer!
(Anonymous subway graffito, Tokyo)
Philip Arbon
The most common error great thinkers make is to confuse wisdom with disillusionment.
marty rubin
Ours is an era in which it is believed that we can reinvent ourselves whenever we choose, so we recast the wisdom of the great thinkers in the shape of our illusions.
Brian Morton
What kind of fool does it take to realize he is a lazy one? It doesn't matter.
Jon Drew
* When all thumbs are along trouser seams, freedom starts splitting at the seams.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov www.aphorism.org.uk
Leonid Sukhorukov
Freedom is talking, but nobody has the freedom to say what he likes even if he can think of anything interesting to say.
Drew Byrne
I truly believe that if you continue to live life, you won't watch it pass you by.
Simran Gill
I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
R. Geis
The only tame lion is the one that has tamed itself.
marty rubin
A wisdom that becomes a byword for a witticism is a poor substitute for the truth of it.
Mr. Arkana
Optimism is for the birds, but cynicism is for disaffected nerds.
James Geary
Blessed are the troublemakers, for they keep the spirit from falling asleep.
marty rubin
It's not the tempest we fear, but drowning.
marty rubin
There are no dreams that cannot be attempted in the imagination, although there are dreams that it is impossible to achieve in reality. The problem is telling which kind is worse.
Berty Watt,
It isn't that you can't cheat death, it's that death can't cheat you.
The Covert Comic
John Alejandro King
A thesaurus is a dictionary on drugs.
The Covert Comic
John Alejandro King
A thesaurus is a dictionary on drugs.
The Covert Comic
John Alejandro King
If God plays dice with the universe, who's the house?
The Covert Comic
John Alejandro King
One can so easily be drowned in one’s ego, if it’s slick enough.
Masked Aphorist, 19th August 2011.
The Masked Aphorist
* One can be easily drown in one’s ego if it is sick enough. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
You can drown in your own ego, if it's deep enough.
Swami Raj
Mousse traps are for mousses: don't be a mousse.
Yoghurt E-Man
* You never realize you are a mouse, until you are caught in a mousetrap. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Once you're caught in the mousetrap, why not eat the cheese?
John Alejandro King
A tiger can't eat you if you hide in a lion's stomach.
John Alejandro King
Inside an oasis, there are many little deserts.
John Alejandro King
If God plays dice with the universe, who's the house?
John Alejandro King
The real F-word is 'future.'
John Alejandro King
One could get rich off of products, land and material. But should maintain wealth in the happiness of other people.
anarnia hunt
No man is an island, except on the Antarctic plateau.
Dylan Taylor.
No one wants to pay his dues...but everyone gets the bill.
Jon Drew
Let’s go where others fear they will end up.
Unknown
Leonid Sukhorukov
Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.
Carlos The Fake Mexican
Death is very likely the single best invention of life.
steven apple
Life is but a spark in the dark.
Nick Tearle
Where it is mandatory to dress alike, it will also be mandatory to think alike.
marty rubin
When it is necessary for a challenge to be met it is necessary to challenge the one who says so.
ridiculous bread & butter pudding
Some emotions don't make a lot of noise.
Aul N. Black
You can believe what you want, but I must believe what I'm told.
Eddie ?
What is yours will come back to you, what you take will be taken from you.
Chief Drifting Cloud
It is never enough for those masquerading as wise men to know that they do not know what it means for themselves.
wisey acre
Only a fool would try to reconstruct a fire out of its ashes.
marty rubin
Masturbation is, at a minimum, more emotionally honest than the average committee meeting.
Keith Herritt
Why Stop dreaming when you wake up?
Junk: chortles:
Ask yourself a question...no really, ask yourself a question...
Nobody in for T & crumpet
* Heavy burdens unbalance a budget.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If you're not looking for a better answer - are you dead?
Swami Raj
What is courtesy? A weapon for the wise!
Swami Raj
When there's nothing to offer, there's nothing else.
Swami Raj
When you lie down with dogs...sometimes you don't get up.
Frisby Frankly
When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.
-STARS
empire records
Money comes and goes; time just goes.
Swami Raj
Some can’t exist without friends, and some are dying without enemies.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Stupid is as stupid does.
Ghina Chaaya
“When you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.” Jean Harlow
Swami Ad
You've got to shout as loud as the next man because if you don't it's only his voice they're going to hear.
Swami Raj
A clever man knows what to say, but a wise man knows whether to say it or not.
Swami Raj
Time screws everybody...eventually.
Swami Raj
It's a poor man who cannot realize how wise he could have been.
Masked Aphorist, 30th June 2011.
The Masked Aphorist
* If you are so wise, why are you still so poor?
Leonid S. Sukhorukov (1961)
Leonid Sukhorukov
You can be so wise it's a surprise that you're so poor.
Swami Raj
If you can see the future, you already know where you'll end up.
Richard More
* Life bubbles in the test tube of Eternity.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The pursuit of unhappiness always succeeds.
marty rubin
* The mysteries of the Universe for us are locked externally by time and distance.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When "it's over" it's merely a fact of life.
Swami Raj
Since it is the mind that misleads the mind, don't leave the mind to the mind.
Master Takuan
Joe Cool
War is hell - so enjoy it while it's hot!
Jumpin' Jalopee!
* If you give up everything that is wrong, you may become the wrong everything.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
do not regrets the things you've done, but those you didn't do.
empire records
Meaning speaks to us in many languages we don't understand – too bad!
Drew Byrne
The modern age is only for today; tomorrow, it is only yesterday.
Drew Byrne
I am not a selfish gene,
nor am I a mean machine;
I am, however a human, being,
that is, someone jiving on the scene.
Alfie Star
While ideas are the father of individuality, individuality is the mother of equality.
Anton Blow-hard
All you have is existence, that's all there is to it.
Swami Raj
The important thing when you are going to do something brave is to have someone on hand to witness it.
Michael Howard
Leonid Sukhorukov
Opinion: a sign of ignorance.
marty rubin
When arrested, always ask for pen and paper to plan your escape.
Swami Raj
Life's an experience, so go do it.
Foxy Philip
You should learn how to preserve your own well being; after all, nobody else could be so concerned about it as you should be.
Alemmon Indahand
The worst insult I can inflict on life is that I do not reflect on its meaning.
Kedar Joshi
* It’s fine to line your pockets with money but don’t spoil the cut of your suit.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Don't sell your dreams without knowing what they cost.
Swami Raj
If a man gets in your way then it must have been easy.
Swami Raj
It's always a surprise to grow old, even though you expect people to do it.
Alfred Dobby
We humans are just smart enough to fool ourselves.
Kendall Rownd
* Good laughter is the common sense of a healthy and witty mind.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Denke nie gedacht zu haben, denn das Denken der Gedanken ist gedankenloses Denken. Wenn du denkst du denkst, denkst du nur du denkst, aber denken tust du nicht.
Michelle D.
Ideas stand in the corner and laugh while we fight over them.
marty rubin
To say something meaningful to others is merely a by-product of having to say something meaningless to oneself.
Arnold Ashcroft
Concern yourself with yourself; others could not be so concerned.
Archie Pratt
Never give up, never give in, never, never repeat oneself.
Nye Mellow, Jnr.
Wit is the bastard of wisdom and vanity.
Mark Leidner
Life is loss, and loss without life is death.
Jon Drew
You know you're successful when during the time you wake up and go to sleep, you do whatever you want.
jared vaughn
If you have something worthwhile to do, then do it now, for later is for nerds to pick over in consternation.
Archie Pratt
It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.
Aul N. Black
People, for what they are, get caught out; that's why they shouldn't have done it.
Jon Drew
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. - Oscar Wilde -
Cory W. Leader
Farce is farce no matter where you read it. The internet is as believable as the good book. And your my boss! HA!
Aul N. Black
The SAINT is a sinner with a smile and a TIE. He sits on his GOLDEN CHILD throne with his wife and his FAKE PHONE.
Aul N. Black
There are no simple solutions to imaginary problems.
marty rubin
No place so ordinary as one's own mind can be any more mundane than it could be at any one time, although that does not make it an any more interesting place to be.
Stan Larkin
People will be people for as long as I live, and people will be people whatever I do.
Devine Storm
Look for a wise man for good company and he's probably got better things to do with his time; so, if you're wise, so would you.
Melvin Mellor
Unaccountable musings are as useful as a bag of rubber bunnies at Christmas.
Anonymus Anonymous
Sometimes you have to go away so that you can come back.
Anonymus Anonymous
If people stopped eating they wouldn't be so full of shit.
Anonymus Anonymous
Our lives are dead-boring until we put some life into them with a few well-chosen bloody words.
Mohammad Sidique Khan, Jnr.
Jimmy Hot-Rod
If you don't know what life is coming to, well, it comes to an end.
Swami Raj
Unexpected beauty in life shatters our monument to suffering.
SeBi Art
* Never trumpet before your triumph!
Leonid S. Sukhorukov (aphorism.org.uk)
Leonid Sukhorukov
Build your castle of dreams, but don't live in it.
marty rubin
To not to have a purpose is sometimes purposeful, but not too often.
jackie jallopee
Truth gives way to schmaltz and doffs its hat in appreciation, but schmaltz is not so lasting as truth, whatever its flavour. It's too bad, as I'm told schmaltz tastes better anyway.
Drew Byrne
Not knowing exactly who you are can go a long way towards telling you who you want to be.
garry gatwick
Look twice at what you’re seeing, as you might see yourself making fewer mistakes than is normal.
Drew Byrne
You need life with attitude, as without attitude you need life.
Drew Byrne
It’s a big universe out there, just try not to let that interfere with your being a small man when you want to be.
Drew Byrne
* Know the limits in everything and you will never enjoy the passion.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
We are free once we learn not to want consolation for living.
Jim O'Sullivan
What comes around, goes around.
Harris Snider
Never stand so high upon a principle that you cannot lower it to suit the circumstances.
Sir Winston Churchill
Leonid Sukhorukov
What does introspection mean? It means you're looking in the wrong direction.
marty rubin
Sometimes you don't get what you want, and then you die, and there's not an aphorism for that.
Drew Byrne
Our words are dead until we give them life with our blood.
Mohammad Sidique Khanm, Jnr.
Joe Cool
When the fun dries up there's always the puzzle left, so make the most of it.
george kazantalis
We should all act how we want to act...but don't go too far now.
Jon Drew
If you follow the rules, it's your own fault.
marty rubin
What would life be without a Hobnob with the morning coffee? It'd be just plain old Digestive biscuits.
Jon Drew
People dupe themselves into believing they are not free to do as they wish because they are all too concerned with consequences.
Jim O'Sullivan
Pure lust is able to tell in what way our object of desire is ugly.
Jim O'Sullivan
If you haven't got time to act like a gentleman - don't do it!
Drew Byrne
* Talent is fruitful as long as it is loved by the Muse.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Tomorrow, I will make up a good aphorism that will be remembered, today.
Joel T
Common sense is the name given by the unoriginal to their own opinions
David Yarrow
Today is the perfect day to have a perfect day.
Nikki Bear
"Everything you know is wrong."
(Name of a comedy album by the Firesign Theatre, Columbia Records, 1974)
Leonid Sukhorukov
You can ask a clever man how to be clever, but if you're clever you never will.
clever clogs
Read all your e-mails, but don't ever regret that you cannot answer them all personally.
Sarah Stacey
Don't insult people with hats on - take them off first!
Jackie the laddette
The only tame lion is the one that has tamed itself.
marty rubin
In talking to myself while talking to you, I can still become quite bored with it all.
Anton Atttheslug
* It’s one thing to be in the centre of the crowd, but quite another to be the centre of its attention.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The fun started with me and shall end with me.
Me Talking To You Talking To Me
* Cuanto más sabemos, más facil es admitir lo que no sabemos.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
My other aphorism is all innuendo.
Raz is back
Creo creando
Mi mundo
Construyo construyendo
mi espacio
soy siendo
mi vida
Pablo Roman
Creo creando
Mi mundo
Construyo construyendo
mi espacio
soy siendo
mi vida
Pablo Roman
Beware of all those who'd like to light a candle in the dark simply to dispel their horror of the darkness, for if they did so they'd happily let it drip all over you.
Drew Byrne
Life is (fill in the blank), then you die.
Lawrence Crosthwaite
You can click-double on the little motorbiker in front of you on the google maps by the golf course along Western Avenue as much as you like, but you can never, never catch up to him until you get to the Hoover factory!
Biker Man
When the wings are too heavy the bird can't fly.
marty rubin
If you choose to pursue a life of doing rather than a life of being, then always remember to put the cat out first.
alfie alimanifilirolastimoggolifiuygogogorf, Snr.
This is all my fault.
Imma A. sayer N. Nota Doer
I might not now everything but even a fraudulent christian stinks when it comes to theft and invasion of privacy. Ahem
Me Talking To You Talking To Me
You can never be smart enough to know something that you do not know.
Jon Drew
* We are all pupils in this world of masters. The wise teach us with their wisdom, the stupid – with their faults. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
All identical surnames that are not immediately tracable to other people, are unique names that are immediately tracable to their particular owners.
Idunno Hu'Hewaz
When you can actually bear to put the past down, this then is the best and only way to fully grasp the future.
Iko Lek
* There are no bullet-proof vests for kind words.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If I ruled the world....we'd all be fucked!
Adolfus Asperger
Places full of people socializing are distinguished for one thing only: the lack of absence of irrelevance.
Lyn Brown
Motherf*cker, n. A highly descriptive word used by Buddhist monks that immediately brings complete enlightenment to the novices it is directed at.
Bsembro Ariece Jr.
One cannot always defend oneself, one must attack oneself as well.
Stella Creasy
Much like the mind the closet is full of memories and cherished items.
Starving 4 Truth
How many useless things we accumulate just because we have closets to put them in!
marty rubin
Life is like box of chocolates, You never know what flavor you will get.
ivan gonzalez
Loneliness, like being lost, is only relevant to the time and place you begin to realize, you should probably be someplace else.
Daniel Donnelly
Such a thing as Facebook can only occur at a time where the book has been effaced.
Stavros Soulias
There is wisdom in aphorisms, but you will have to look hard to find it.
Jon Drew
Ha!
Me Talking To You Talking To Me
THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR CONTRIBUTING TO THE DAILY APHORISM WEBSITE OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS. THE WEBSITE IS NOW CLOSED FOR FURTHER SUBMISSSIONS, DUE TO LACK OF SUFFICIENT INTEREST.
The Editor
Opinions are like arseholes: everybody has one, and they all stink!
Joe Seeks
Opinions are like arm pits. Everyone has them and they all stink.
Me Talking To You Talking To Me
Dogma is dogma...at least that's my opinion.
Me Talking To You Talking To Me
Keep in mind that what one thinks, supposes, and imagines is merely YOUR opinion. Its not fact. Don't be mad at me due to the fact that I don't believe what you do. Be mad because I didn't do what was required of me at work not in life because if that was the case we all would hate each other based on the fact that he or she doesn't believe what I (you) believe. Thanks and it was my pleasure.
Me Talking To You Talking To Me
Looking back you become an image, looking forward you become an iconoclast.
I Fecit
If ever you want to know what someone really thinks of you, insult him—you arsehole!
icabod plainlove
You can learn a lot from people, if you can learn to keep them at arm’s length.
Trilby Tippa
Sometimes Life is like a vacuum cleaner, It just sucks..
Cliff Tan
Sometimes Life is like a vacuum cleaner, It just sucks..
Cliff Tan
When the time for action has come, now is not the time to feel like having a cup of tea instead.
Drew Byrne
If there are 6 billion people in the world and your soul-mate is one of them; what are the odds that you will meet them?
Charlie Marsh
The truth is of variable quality when battered between fools.
Easy, Action!
Eat the thickie: Don’t go vegie!
Martinus Scriblerus
Detachment: the art of making sure life is never a burden but always a pleasure.
marty rubin
Rehab is just a lapse from reason of a much needed drink.
-Clo
Clo Raborn
They say imitation is a form of flattery when its actually a crude form of lying to others and nothing more.
Cat Fish
I find that there is a darkness in me...I call it Frank...hello, Frank.
The Masked Aphorist’s Apprentice
I was trying to daydream but my mind kept wandering.
Ines Ferreira
You say nobody likes you? Don't worry about him, he's nobody!
The Masked Aphorist’s Apprentice
To prevent oneself from thinking too much, one must be someone who thinks preventively.
Ashley Judd
about:blank benim hayatımın yanında televole kalır.
Baygın İnsan
You know what they say about street philosophers? Chuck a stone into the crowd and you'll hit ten of them, and they'll all have a different opinion on the matter.
Drew Byrne
It is no coincidence that New Year's Day is the first day of the rest of your life today, especially when it is.
Anonymus Anonymous
To be independent is to stand alone: have a nice day!
Drew Byrne
* Whether the glass is half-full or whether it is half-empty, it’s still a New Year’s champagne!
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Happy New Year to all!
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Those riding a wave are cast further ashore.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Peace & good will to all men is here now, we just call it a normal life before death and want it to improve the decor.
Drew Kalm
I love bad dreams. They remind me of the goodness of life.
marty rubin
Not all cool bananas have a good reason to be light yellow; some would like to be polka dot coloured instead.
Zolda Day
Standing up for truth here in the cold light of day, you can't possibly argue with the indigestible fact that this New Year begins with stone-cold leftovers, simply because the simple truth of the matter is that this last year was all over with the turkey stuffing.
Drew Byrne
There ain't no fiction that ain't ort be at least partly inventive facts.
Jess X
Happiness is a wide-screen TV and enough time to watch it flicker.
George Hawksmore.
Christmas comes but once a year; miss it at your peril.
Santa Claus
Courage and shyness should be added to the utility belt.
Me Talking To You Talking To Me
Spite is a terrible tool to utilize. Its ramifications are long lasting.
Me Talking To You Talking To Me
The future is the brightest with your eyes held tightly shut.
Me Talking To You Talking To Me
Love No Limit.
Mykal Jinx
Never underestimate the contrary effects on your actions of making your New Year’s resolutions: you could end up by doing nothing whatsoever about it.
Drew Byrne
A lie is a weapon. Lie to the public and all hearts are broken. Hold my hand while doing it and you've become a sniper.
Old N. Busted
Exaggeration is prose; lying is poetry.
marty rubin
The world is full of memories: grab some while they’re hot.
Drew Byrne
Whatever they do, people do put you down, and people will put you down, as that is what people do do.
Drew Byrne
Remainders are what we have when other things have gone, but, surely, that is better than nothing?
Mojo Mickey
Man is a ridiculous creature: all arms and legs. What can we expect to do except fall over one another in all the confusion?
Mark Tanner
Own all you have done and carry it with you. Not on your back but on the soles of your feet.
Me Talking To You N. By You I Mean You
Resenting my own weaknesses seems so self-defeating: I should try to revel in them instead.
Neil Adams
Calumny is such a personal thing to do, but that anyone around at the time can play at with scant regard to the consequences.
Neil Adams
Good thing this kid I just had has a magnitude of problems with it and is gonna die soon so I can focus all my attention on something else. Wphew!
Rod N. Reel
If you want truth, buy a toaster; then buy a three year guarantee to go along with it. That's the truth.
Drew Byrne
The ability to procreate has been hindered by my selfishness.
radioactive dick
Whether the glass is half-full or whether it the glass half-empty, it’s still radioactive whether in Hiroshima or Nagasaki.
Larf a minute-man.
Season’s greetings! Relax, enjoy: it doesn’t last forever!
Santa’s Ding-Dong!
The future is the hardest thing you will ever do.
Me TalkingTo You Talking To Me
Tomorrow will only consist of past transgressions still relevant in your life, while writing words for the day.
Me TalkingTo You Talking To Me
Regardless of yesterday today is still a work of words in progress and tomorrow is unknown until you wake up.
Me TalkingTo You Talking To Me
Whatever gets you through the day only works once.
Me TalkingTo You Talking To Me
It's not who you are, but what you do that counts
Vincent Wolf
Yesterday, I forgot what it was all about; today, I forgot again.
Jon Drew
Yesterday, I forgot what I was saying; today, I remembered.
Jon Drew
In the monkey-house balance alone is permissible...are you doing it yet?
Drew Byrne
As lons as you've lit one candle, you're allowed to curse the darkness...
Jade Hardeman-Willis
In the monkey-house balance alone is permissible, are you doing it yet?
Drew Byrne
The gold you have to dig for is not the real gold.
marty rubin
The best advice is not to listen to any.
Bora Demirbilek
We can suspect the motives of others, but not possibly our own.
Jon Drew
Don't ever fall down with a smile on your face. You will chip a tooth.
Sarah Overton
2 little consonants and one vowel doesn't give you right to judge a person
DRew Davies
Understanding cannot alter the ways of Destiny!
Anonymus Anonymous
The intellect without the will is fool's gold.
Jon Drew
There is a limiting factor to limitations: we don’t always know where their limits lie.
Drew Byrne
Upset, irritate, confuse, befuddle, disturb. Leave. Down right piss'em off. Improve. Which ever you chose the end result should always be improve.
Imma Doosh
It is a pity that the opinions of others of us drives us to form opinions of ourselves, but that is what they do as a matter of course.
Drew Byrne
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
Yoora Doosh
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
Yoora Doosh
Make a man a fire, he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Yoora Doosh
Don't do whatever you like but like whatever you do.
Yoora Doosh
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
Yoora Doosh
If at first you don't succeed, don't admit you ever tried.
Yoora Doosh
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Yoora Doosh
Nobody is too small to be a bully, although some can be too big.
Jon Drew
Lie to my face in public rather than to my heart while in my arms.
Old N. Busted
Look at life: it’s weird! (Although we don’t know how weird it is really...)
The Masked Aphorist’s Apprentice
The lie is a greater force for reason than truth, although it is not so fluffy.
The Masked Aphorist’s Apprentice
Take care of the future and the past shall take care of itself.
Sarang Joshi
Tie up all your philosophies with a neat little bow, that’ll do it.
Jon Drew
What doesn’t belong to you, don’t cry about it; it’s not yours, it’s God’s.
Swami Raj
Why Not? Apothegms of Ennui
Nietzsche: or truth as lie; yet indiscernible an sich.
Heidegger: or the Nazi who poetizes on graves.
Derrida: or a mechanic in the junkyard.
Cioran: or maledictions without consequence.
Kierkegaard: or the philosophy of disappointment.
Descartes: or metaphysics in the oven.
God: or why no good deed goes unpunished.
Jesus: or the resurrected nihilist.
Žižek: or the charlatan of wisdom.
Lacan: or the atheist theologian.
Baudrillard: or the result of too much television (or masturbation).
Althusser: or the philosophy of woman.
Adorno: or negative diametrics.
Hegel: or the anomalies of thinking.
Schopenhauer: see Hegel.
Kant: or why finally people cannot get along.
Foucault: or fascist homosexuality.
Sartre: or why the man with one eye is king.
Freud: or the virtuoso of plagiarism.
Dostoyevsky: or the politics of fear.
Beckett: or the stupidity of living.
Kafka: or the insomnia of language.
Stavros Soulias
The memory of the great is enshrined in books.
Adam Thompson
It's not about seeing it to believe it, You've got to believe it to see it.
Soma Pop
'Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.' W. Shakespeare (from Julius Caesar, 1601).
Leonid Sukhorukov
Cry havoc and let loose the poodles of discontent!
Fluffy the Poodle-Lover!
When it comes to guts, determination and perseverance you too can become the Duracell bunny, but get the right batteries first: Ever-ready!
Mass Marketing Board Man
I'll tell you a secret, I'll make it perfectly clear. There are NO secrets this year.
Bethal Park Liars Association
Hey, You! Little Star-Stalker! Stop travelling towards your destiny and you have already arrived...little asteroid.
Deep Funk!
Inside every pearl is a piece of s---.
Gloria L. C
I know everything, and I know nothing!
Unk-Unk-Unk Known
The mind is only a tool, not always an answer.
Anya Malouf
In great attempts, it is even glorious to fail. Vincent T Lombardi
Leonid Sukhorukov
If you can’t “realize”, you’re a mule – you prat!
Archibald 'Ardwick
It's the supreme irony of life that only its end is known.
marty rubin
See the good in good people and good people will see faults in you.
Stillsur Chin
Even a dullard’s frustrations can be lived with, if it’s a permanent predicament.
James Fitzpatrick
"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?"
-- Charles Schultz
Santosh Fernandes
The neatest trick the rich ever played on the poor was convincing the working classes to work for them for not enough money.
Sebrio Cambeer
Only an embittered Jehovah could have bestowed upon man the gift of artifice.
Stavros Soulias
A lack of emphasis is emphasis enough.
Jon Drew
"It's not who you are that defines you it's what you do."
Bruce Wayne
I think they're happy... what's the point if your not happy?
Nique King
I think they're happy... what's the point if your not happy?
Nique King
Human Da-sein breathes between the antipodes of Angst and ennui.
Stavros Soulias
Mistakes repeat themselves so we can become aware of them.
marty rubin
* Never confuse others’ wisdom with an armchair that fits all butts. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Im a winner at a losing game.
julius Seizer
All men are not born equal; and like racehorses, they cannot all win.
Derek Tangye
Joe Cool
Motherfucker: A jolly good insult, not so clearly refined as all that, but deployed correctly is effective in situations of counterfeit screwing.
Swami Raj
When you are so afraid of forgetting the story of your life. You forget to actually live it
V L
As oil prices get closer to the maximum, the value of human lives gets closer to the minimum.
We live virtually but die for real.
Eternal vigilance leads to permanent insomnia.
Morality is a barrier between men and women.
If size mattered, dinosaurs would rule the world.
Even the dead are unequal; some are in mausoleums.
Yes, we can trade soul for life.
In democracy there are many rights – to speak, to vote, to think…and finally right to work for benefit of a few rich ones.
Love is side effect of sex.
Autocracy is dictatorship of autocrat; democracy is dictatorship of money.
Aleksandar Krzavac
WARNING: There is danger in the woods: you could lose your marbles there.
Louise L' Anonymous
When a head and a wall collide it's never the wall that breaks.
marty rubin
* Life's U-turns confirm its straightforwardness.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
It's hard to keep your pecker up when the world weighs it down.
Monty Don
In India, if a policeman hits you with a switch in a riot and you ask him in English why he did it, he’ll stop doing it; while if you ask him in Hindi he’ll hit you harder.
The One-Eyed Batman & The Porcupine Kid!
The secret of a happy marriage – the unexpected keeps it alive.
Derek Tangye.
Joe Cool
Even a rat can smell a rat.
Hamato Yoshi
A clear sign that "status anxiety" plagues our society: Teachers calling themselves "Education Management Professionals" on LinkedIN.
Greg Linster
The most beautiful aphorism has yet to be written.
Greg Linster
Later is what you do later when you can, but later can never come soon enough for you now.
Richard Davies
After a while it's all deja-vue, even this is deja-vue to you after a while.
Polly Perspicacity
Cure rests in the degree of susceptibiliness.
Professor James Tyler Kent
Leonid Sukhorukov
The gold you have to dig for is not the real gold.
marty rubin
No more peas for me Ma!
Patrick Flynn
If you think you're part of the solution you're probably part of the problem.
Greg Linster
When the past finds you say hello, but remember where you are going.
Friend's Shadow
* Every year at any age, we think we are clever, but during each year, we realize that we have grown wiser… Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Never consider yourself too big - it's a small world. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few.
Benjamin Disraeli )))
Leonid Sukhorukov
"Average" may have a deceiving definition only if the definer is above or below their own "standards". "Standard" now that's a deceiving word.
Wet Stone
"Average" can be a cruelly deceiving term.
Greg Linster
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours. Harry S. Truman
Leonid Sukhorukov
The cheapest is rarely the least expensive.
Greg Linster
Dr Seuss : I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope, which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Never put your hands on the problem without washing them first.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When indecency is exposed it cause those to rise up, just be careful as to how far you rise up you may become exposed as well
3k's in la
When the blind lead the blind, get out of the way.
Mixed-up kid
The crazies are always out there, because if they’re not out there then they must be in here!
Nutty Nibbles
* We are suicides in our longing for immortality.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Fight hard and you will survive - you tosser!
ganja max
We as a species are alien and will not return from a hiatus.
Gozer The Gozerian
Only a dick-head asks a god for the time of day.
Alf Aardvark
Ambition is the cancer of happiness.
Greg Linster
When you're sinking in the quicksand of thought, thinking is not the way out.
marty rubin
Immortality goes on too long to be taken seriously, and never lasts long enough to be fully appreciated.
Drew Byrne
School teaches you how to learn, unfortunately not much else.
Greg Linster
Unlike humans, computers behave rationally.
Greg Linster
Cheap:Less money spent::Thrifty:Less money spent
E. Honda
The price of being cheap is awfully costly.
Greg Linster
What you say and what you're told, only one can be controlled.
Math Is Hard
They say life's a gamble, take risks. They say if you're smart quit now. That's why I dropped outta school after two years.
Remy The Reaper
gyms: health :: schools: intelligence
Greg Linster
* You are most likely to slip and fall when things get too smooth.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A man needs a place to stand - shortstop!
Simon Hughes
Are you looking for someone to blame? Then blame yourself.
Anonymus Anonymous
Parrots mimic their owners. Their owners consider that a sign of intelligence.
marty rubin
If you don't like the game, don't play it.
Greg Linster
An insatiable appetite for knowledge leads to a dark place.
Greg Linster
Some things aren't worth knowing.
Greg Linster
Frustration and disappointment are the natural byproducts of ambition.
Greg Linster
Don’t ask and you don’t get; do ask and you don’t get; ask for something else and you can’t have it; ask for what you want and you’ll get something else; ask for what you don’t ask for and you’ll get it; ask for what you need and you’re sure to get something you don’t; but if you don’t ask for it you don’t deserve it and if you don’t deserve it you don’t deserve to get it, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have it if you’re asking for it.
Drew Byrne
My fears always show you what you are going to do next.
Jon Drew
We're all selling something, the real question is: who's buying it?
Greg Linster
Wisdom is the disguise for the fact that we don't know anything.
Greg Linster
You're most likely to make an egregious mistake when you think you're least likely.
Greg Linster
The trouble with reality is that it doesn't seem all that real.
Greg Linster
Doing well in school is often confused as a sign of intelligence.
Greg Linster
It is never the doing that gets to you; it is always the consequences that does it.
Drew Byrne
We laugh at monkeys imprisoned in the zoo, as if our lives were all that much different.
Greg Linster
What needs to be done, best needs trying to be done to the best of one’s objectivity.
Dill the Dog
Some bridges have no other side. Crossing is all that matters.
marty rubin
Trying will always win you the Kewpie doll - boy!
Paul Burstow
Gestures of finality: something to look back on with amusement.
Jon Drew
Tax the rich - to death!
Jim Bean
French onions are not for the faint hearted; French onions are for the strong.
Mr Onionionions
The forgotten aphorism can be just as good as the one that isn’t memorable.
Jon Drew
Listening to the words of an old man you become an old man yourself.
Jon Drew
While performing for the audience you forget what they are: suffering sycophants.
I Sycophant
Stuck between one choice and another the choice is inevitable.
Jon Drew
If you don't live for something you'll die for nothing.
Katie Butcher
The darkness around us cannot harm us, it is the darkness in our own hearts we should fear.
Katie Butcher
When you don’t know what to protect then you have nothing left to defend.
Drew Byrne
The most important thing about wasting one’s time is not to expect anything else from it.
Drew Byrne
How much of this day have you already forgotten?
marty rubin
Moral's.Morale
Funny how one little "e" can change everything.
Tim Matlock
Into the abyss
Of selfhood I go,
Quite unperturbed.
Ashi Suzuki
Hiding in the dark can be very enlightening: you just have to remember to put the light switch on that’s infront of your nose.
John Miles
all your art vanishes once it becomes your identity instead of being your ability.
Ameen Roayan
It’s amazing how closely ignorance and stupidity are related to one’s acts when one doesn’t fully realize what one is doing.
Drew Byrne
We are creatures of habit; what we have to remember is how to make that work for us, not against us.
Drew Byrne
When you really need an aphorism, you can't even make one up.
Jeremy Corbyn
Secrets are for telling, but don’t tell anybody I said so.
Jon Drew
You have to be famous to write a good aphorism, or else the world forgets you said something.
Jon Drew
If you think you've lost, you've lost; if you think you've won, you've lost.
Greg Linster
What no one can tell you is how you can grasp the moment when it just keeps slipping away.
Drew Byrne
Being nothing is easy, once you get the knack.
marty rubin
I've seen seaweed by the sea shore, but I've never seen the sea shore by seaweed.
Diane Abbott
The Daily Aphorism website is the only place in British cyberspace that you can say something profound without meaning to, and even get away with it without it being called ridiculous.
Archie Pratt
* In a democracy everyone has the exclusive right to claim he is always right. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The trouble with the daily aphorism: It is likely that many of it's authors, of any serious talent that is, are making us read what is not good enough for their book.
Jim O'Sullivan
In friendship there are those who we may call only ''honeymoon periods''.
Jim O'Sullivan
Last night I dreamed I was a thief; It seems I am tired of earning money.
Jim O'Sullivan
He who has wings has no shoulders to look back over. Freedom.
Jim O'Sullivan
The day contraception was invented was the day sex became a hobby.
Jim O'Sullivan
Call me eccentric, but that's a load of rich creamery butter. Homer Simpson.
Jim O'Sullivan
If the right words cannot be found, at least you’ve been bothered to look for them.
Drew Byrne
The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
Monica Barron
You can play solo on your own instrument in the corner as long as you like, but if you want the approval of the public you have to learn to play your instrument in the orchestra in tune with it.
James Geary
"Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve. Roger Lewin
Roger Lewin
A clumsy mistake is no less annoying simply because it becomes immediately apparent, even if it is "a good one."
Drew Byrne
Manage to put your semi-colons in the right place and you can do no wrong, grammatically speaking.
Graeme Outerbridge
Disappointments run deep amid expectations, but success is guaranteed to fail anyway.
Gordon Brown
What we want to know is how to manipulate the manipulators so that they don’t know they’re being manipulated.
Drew Byrne
* The best criticism rides on the back of praise.
Leonid Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The devil is in the detail, and he’s a horny devil.
Drew Byrne
There's one fast rule concerning death: save it for the end.
marty rubin
Life is loss; loss without life is death.
Drew Byrne
When you can't think of anything to say, say it anyway, with gusto.
Drew Byrne
The invention of the cell phone has made the distinction between work and slavery increasingly blurry.
Greg Linster
Another person’s viewpoint is always helpful, especially when you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Drew Byrne
* The most unforgettable thing is the unthinkable.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
It’s easy to be philosophical when it’s some other poor sod that’s short of blood.
Swami Raj
You can even like the best thing of the worst thing.
Alex Eisenberg
What you don't think of, how can you forget so easily? You fool!
Archie Pratt
Truth is not the beach, but each grain of sand.
marty rubin
Concentrating is such an easy thin to do when you can forget about it.
Drew Byrne
* We all love truth, but we can't always bear it.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If you want the truth, you can’t have the truth; if you need the truth, it’s right there, somewhere; if you see the truth, it’s right under your nose; if you understand it, it’s quite rare.
Drew Byrne
* Any fool can write a book – a wise man knows how to sell it.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
All those times where a good decision was needed must have had something vital lacking to them, especially when one misses doing so through one's own indecision...
Drew Byrne
Any prick can be an aphorist, but it takes one to know one.
Archie Pratt
* Pray for heaven but keep your hopes on the ground.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
You didn't need to know about this, but that is another matter.
Drew Byrne
ALL LIFE IS ENERGY...STOP AND FEEL IT DAILY...BECAUSE, IT FEELS YOU !
June O'Reilly
Trust in God, but keep your day job.
Lionel Deimel
Memory is short, imagination long.
marty rubin
* Aphorisms are short, but none so short as the memory of their author’s name. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Memories: something to forget and be forgotten.
Drew Byrne
We're all victims of someone's beliefs, namely our own.
Greg Linster
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."
Albert Einstein
Leonid Sukhorukov
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Reinhold Niebuhr
Leonid Sukhorukov
There's a natural limit to all bull-shit...we just haven't all found it yet.
Drew Byrne
When the holy-shit hits the fan everything seems to become much more enlightening…including holy-shit.
Drew Byrne
* If the whole world were blind, there would only be inner beauty left.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
What would beauty be if the whole world were blind?
marty rubin
Life can be dead boring; however, it can be the only one we have left to live with any interest to it.
Drew Byrne
There cannot be a much better maxim than “Silence with precision;” although no one can much know what it means.
Drew Byrne
Many a terse and laconic phrase have been confused for a witty aphorism.
Greg Linster
* The best place in the sun, is in the shadow.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Citing aphorisms rarely signifies intelligence, then again, neither does creating them.
Greg Linster
The only thing better than singing is more singing.
Ella Fitzgerald
Leonid Sukhorukov
Decisions! Decisions! Decisions! Take one! Anyone! Any one you want! Go on!
Drew Byrne
I am not constantly here, ok maybe I am.
The Simpsons Suck
A closeted Hypocrite, is the worst kind.
Maggie Headley
Everything is false, including this.
Tilly Vadmin
* Growing up is more pathetic than growing down.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* No pathetic - no growing up.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Everyone feels pathetic at some point in life. It's called growing up.
Omar Arce
The best is yet to come.
Regina Brett (45 lessons of life)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Optimism is an implicit belief in hope.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
This place here, right here, has been compromised.
Jack Apple-bottom
The world is not like you think it is; the world is just as it is.
Drew Byrne
When you haven’t got time to learn, at least you’ve learnt that in time.
Drew Byrne
Looked at askance it appears that modern art appears to be a load of bollocks––good!
Drew Byrne
People make mistakes because they’re so confused by probability. Which is unavoidable under the circumstances, given the profusion of the confusion of circumstances.
Drew Byrne
Sometimes you can have nothing to drive you, which can be a driving force in itself.
Drew Byrne
Give yourself room to breathe. Don't get too close to yourself.
marty rubin
"If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." E.B.White
Leonid Sukhorukov
The world doesn’t change; only you change around it.
Drew Byrne
What you don't understand, you can make mean anything.
- Chuck Palahniuk
Niccolo Machiavelli
In a world of assumption everything is possible.
Gijsbert van Eijsden
You show me the world like I've never seen before.
Gijsbert van Eijsden
An aphorism a day keeps the head screwed...screwed on tight.
Zaphod Beeblebrox
Refuse to change the world and the world will change you.
South Park Sux
All this injustice in the world suggests that you should get a kick up the arse for doing absolutely nothing in particular to deserve it, and deservedly so, as you don’t particularly deserve it anyway.
Zaphod Beeblebrox
* We start off playing with our babies, but they end up toying with us.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov ("All About Everything", UK, 2005, p.113)
Leonid Sukhorukov
Enough with the bull-shine already - let's go with the load of bollocks instead!
Zaphod Beeblebrox
Love is life. Denying your love to someone - is suicide, denying someones love to you - is murder.
Mister Shlyapa
Unrequited love makes one easier live with absence of everything else
Mister Shlyapa
Only meaningless gives meaning to meaningless statements, or not at all.
Zaphod Beeblebrox
The only difference between the living you and the dead you is that the latter won’t make mistakes.
Jithu J. Timothy Kari
* Heroism starts with a victory over yourself.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Character is an inhabited habit.
* Watch your character, it may become your trap.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
- Unknown
Cory Leader
The empty bottle rejoices, knowing it has given its all.
marty rubin
I know everything....I think.
William Penn
* Knowledge gives power but ignorance gives longevity.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Inserting knowledge into our convictions is the greatest obstacle we face. Through techniques acquired from years of failure, we have learned that our convictions are more convincing without the intrusions of knowledge.
Stavros Soulias
Death is an anachronism; life is too much of one.
Allan Jones
"The problem with most people who want what they can't have is that when they get what they covet, they don't want it anymore."
Extra Phalanges
Cast aside, the memories of love reveal themselves on the occasional occurrence of a scent; an odor that promotes the recall of a scene that two fools believed would remedy their insertion into time.
Stavros Soulias
Work?!?! THIS, is work.
Songs of Christmas by Lewis
Employed by moments, I attempt to justify my occupation with them.
Stavros Soulias
That's a nice noose. My biggest mistake was showing you the ropes.
Gary Sheldon
* Virtue is the public face of vice.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
"People can’t conceive of a virtue in someone else that they can’t conceive in themselves. Instead of believing you’re stronger, it’s so much easier to imagine you’re weaker. You’re addicted to self-abuse. You’re a liar. People are always ready to believe the opposite of what you tell them." - Chuck Palahniuk
This is stupid.
Tom Leaner
The best quality in a leader is his ability to make men follow him; which, conversely, must also be his worst.
Drew Byrne
Don't be cog,
be a spanner.
Rob Wheeler
You'll never meet the right person if you never let go of the wrong one.
Paul Moreaux
* Good health makes the worst weather to be the loveliest.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
As for women, women are what they are; and as for men, they’re far worse.
Drew Byrne
Always have to fight especially hard to those who are like you.
George Eletskih
Not every attempt is a chance, but every chance - an attempt.
George Eletskih
I've stopped giving a shit about not giving a shit, now i'm free to do anything.
Cardiff Giant
* Gathering together is a beginning; writing together is progress; caught up together with best aphorisms in the clouds is success.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Maturity is the ability to do something even though your parents have recommended it.
Paul Watzlawick
An aphorism needn't be true, but it should make you wonder.
marty rubin
Strangers sometimes treat you better than your relatives. They judge you by what you're doing today, not by what you did yesterday.
Pablo Honey
Sometimes, an aphorism about nothing at all will pass for wise among wise men.
Drew Byrne
Honesty is only a minor passion with me, as I don’t like to take it too seriously.
Drew Byrne
Time flies like a bruised apple: fruit flies like there’s no tomorrow.
Drew Byrne
Sooner or later the truth will out, but don’t tell anybody about it.
Drew Byrne
If you don't play the game, you don't have to follow the rules.
marty rubin
* The most difficult thing in the path of choice is to choose a path. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Cell Phones are the new Smoking
Dominick Maiolo
The sea of humanity is full of purposes; you just have to swim with them to advance your goals in the ocean of discontent.
A Well Wisher
I'm bored with doing aphorisms, I'll try thinking aphorisms instead...
Drew Byrne
Irish folklore or any folklore for that matter, is simply that "Folk" "Lure"
Robert Kane
Live fast, die hard, leave a good looking corpse.
Jack Thade
You cannot possibly admire someone who doesn’t like you for what you are, but you can still admire his terrible reasons for it.
Drew Byrne
Life is an illusion where the illusion is life.
Jonny Smith
He who can juggle four beanbags at once with ease can juggle anything; however, it’s best for him not to try it with elephants until he learns how to handle elephants as easily as he has learned how to juggle beanbags.
The Masked Aphorist’s Apprentice
* A man who never makes mistakes is a mistake of Nature.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Don’t blame others for their nascent inconsequentiality – blame yourself for your incredulous gullibility instead! As, whatever it is, it’s obviously all your own fault!
Drew Byrne
Sometimes, painting the truth black for fun is the only thing that brings out its essential meaning in Technicolor.
Drew Byrne
There is no thing that is not complete: it is our knowledge that is incomplete.
marty rubin
The way to wholeness consists of wrong turns and fateful detours.
C. G. Jung
Monica McGregor
Don’t insult people with wrong numbers, they might ring back and praise you for it.
Drew Byrne
Just because you can be classified doesn't mean you're classifiable...
Drew Byrne
Opinions make the man - anything else is just someone else's opinion on what you're up to!
Drew Byrne
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much. However, ramming a "forgiveness pixie" up their arse annoys them much more.
Denis Smith
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much. However, ramming a "forgiveness pixie" up their arse annoys them much more.
Denis Smith
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much. However, ramming a "forgiveness pixie" up their arse annoys them much more.
Denis Smith
* Make the most of today, tomorrow's today is still tomorrow. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The trail is usually just wide enough for one, but the soul prefers to search in communion - in the company of another, and to do so, one must carry the other, and for this to happen, the other must submit to being carried.
Berette Macaulay
Like everything else there is a before, a now, and an after, even after this.
Drew Byrne
* The great are always in the minority.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When you have a float in your till the world is your oyster.
Swami Raj
Despite what it appears to be, a good aphorisms is no more than what you take away from it by surprise.
Allan Brown
EVERY APHORISM IS JUST A SENTENCE
Myngo none
Caught between the choices of two evils, I choose not to choose my favourite vanilla flavor.
Allan Brown
* Time will heal, if you will let it go.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
It’s simple: Insult shall produce ball-kicks, and then that will produce calmness and contentment.
Swami Raj
* Writing is easy - until you become a professional. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Writing is a game of hits and misses. Throw out the hits and keep the misses.
marty rubin
It takes some considerable understanding to find the dynamic energy to do as you like anyway...
Drew Byrne
Every ham needs spam, but canned spam isn’t ham, but no ham is dead meat until he kicks the bucket over spam.
Paul Yang
An aphorism without a happy ending is only an open door to another dimension of disgruntlement...a place where all the "t's" are crossed and all the "I's" are dotted, except this one.
Archie Pratt
No one knows the solitariness of the samurai, except perhaps the tiger in the jungle.
Archie Pratt
Bad language is a fucking superstition.
joseph Hughes
I will not "take the Mickey" out of the established faculty, as they don't deserve it - but you do!
Bart Simpson
The weak shall go to the wall...and, after a while, you shall follow them.
Buddy Blank
When you’re young you can go round the world and make a few million here, a few million there, but it would all be in millilitres…
Swami Raj
What can be done about sanctimonious people being sanctimonious with you, other than to deny them their basic human right to do it at your expense?
Drew Byrne
In reality, self-delusion is such an obtuse thing, as even after its revelation one can so easily also overlook the fact that one can forget all about it tomorrow.
Drew Byrne
Even though it is not listening you can still tell an object what it is when you find it annoying...and you can do the same with people as well.
Drew Byrne
Sometimes I worry that I'm not trying too hard enough.
Lauren Spoto
* It's impossible to travel faster than light. We'd be in complete darkness.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Life: a game that can be played only by not following the rules.
marty rubin
What’s happening in the world? – Same old Rubbish!
Swami Raj
* There is no death. Only nature's changing forms.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Art does not imitate life: life imitates art—badly!
Drew Byrne
Standing on the beach watching the Life Boat fade into the distance you realize that you are merely a grain of the sandy beach that you wait on. Make new footprints else where and watch as the old ones disappear. This salty water in the corner of my mouth is nothing more than an erosion tear and the tides coming in to wipe clean the footprints.
Long Distance Runner
What can you do when you've missed the boat on the highway of life but to put your thumb up and tout for another one...?
Crazy, Mixed-Up Kid!
I speak only in retaliation while providing insult, blah blah blah.......Wait, was that retaliation?
Buncha Bull$h!t
Whom am I? Certainly nobody else!
Hans Knobblenz
The trivial isn’t always so easy to achieve…but how trivial is the result anyway?
Drew Byrne
May the 14th be with you! (As even if it's a little late, it's better late than never).
Harry Hoody
Fight hard, and you will survive; but for how long, that’s the question.
Drew Byrne
If the light's not in you, you're in the dark.
marty rubin
* Truth is perfect! Untill undressed.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Don’t twist the truth round too much: it becomes inscrutable for strangers to it.
Harry Hoody
With the lights coming on and the curtain coming down. Now one waits for the new show to come into town. *End scene*
CLothes giver
Whatever time does to you in the long term, you’re never far away from a good ending.
Harry Hoody
If I had piled up in front of me now all the money I've ever spent on beer, I'd spend it all on beer.
Peter Andetson
We’re all selling something, but who’s “buying it” from the one who’s selling it?
Drew Byrne
Everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, an emotional, a mental, and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.
Indian proverb
Leonid Sukhorukov
How nice it must be for people to have something more meaningful to look forward to in the next life, even though it has been scientifically proved by the observations of monkeys in captivity that there isn’t one.
Drew Byrne
Money comes and goes; time just goes.
Swami Raj
The old philosophers knew so little; that's why they were so wise.
marty rubin
How long is a piece of string? Just so long...
Swami Raj
* The only human certainty is constant doubt.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov (1967)
Leonid Sukhorukov
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss
Calvin N. Hobbes
Do not simply assume that the person you’re holding an interesting conversation with is talking solely to you, as he could simply be talking to himself.
Drew Byrne
A moment of unthinking misunderstanding is worth a lifetime of ill-considered agreement.
Drew Byrne
Evil is as evil does.
The Booming Orifice
* I think you think you understand my thoughts here, but I doubt, my friend, you really realize that what you thought I thought is not exactly what I thought I thought.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Do not simply assume that the other person you are dealing with could really be as stupid as you think he is, as in reality you could simply be stupider than him.
Drew Byrne
* I shall always believe in immortality... as long as I live! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Time screws everybody...eventually.
Swami Raj
The answer is "belief", and the question is "belief".
Swami Raj
You can be fooled, you just don’t know how.
Swami Raj
Self-delusion is not such a serious matter: you can forget all about it by tomorrow afternoon.
Drew Byrne
* The brighter the bubble, the quicker it bursts
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
You have to let the balloon go if you want to see it fly.
marty rubin
Happiness, like the existence of bright stars, can so easily be denied by the person who has experienced his life solely through the blinding touch of fear and envy.
Ms. Vicky Liodakis
Once your day is done you've been done by the day...
Drew Byrne
A wise man's question contains half the answer.
Solomon Ibn Gabirol ben Judah
Leonid Sukhorukov
To what extent can truth endure incorporation? That is the question; that is the experiment.
Freidrich Wilhelm Neitzsche
Joe Cool
I'm joking, even when I say I'm joking
Francesco Correani
For purely ethical reasons you can choose to distance yourself from how the normal human being normally behaves towards others of his own species every day, but you cannot possibly ignore it.
Drew Byrne
* If I have to cry, I think of my former life. If I have to laugh, I think of what I cried for. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Life without LOVE is like a LOVE without LIFE
Ore Hendive
Today, I thought up two interesting aphorisms for the Daily Aphorism, one of which was memorable, but I forgot which one it was before I could write it down...
Archie Pratt
Everyone is equal, but in different ways.
Drew Byrne
* We are all so equal that it makes us completely different.Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Your best friend’s a screwer, and your best friend is you.
Swami Raj
* Human error is the mother of truth.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
In your explorations of the human experience you may also be able to write all the right answers down and then learn them by rote, but that is still not the answer...
Drew Byrne
There are two kinds of people—those going somewhere, and those going nowhere.
Swami Raj
If you never "had a dream," you could never have lost it could you?
Swami Raj
When evening falls, does it make a sound?
marty rubin
Between the pert and the twee I shall eat flan instead...
Archie Pratt
To be tricked by your desires and wants into betraying something vital to you, you don’t really need to be paying much attention to it.
Drew Byrne
Anyone could look into your eyes a million times and never see what I do.
Julius Seizer
Keep your hands to yourself. Don't worry about the kid next to you, worry about YOU and for God sakes stop eating the Glue! Also , stop giving Leo a hard time ... I like his aphorisms, Be Nice! Love, your lovely preschool teacher :)
Nora McCair
Just another pleasant pause of the past
Nora McCair
All on our own path, in our own time
Nora McCair
* He who always stands still will never learn the limits of his abilities. Leonid S.Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.
Calvin N . Hobbes
To be even-handed: still, one must realize that one's wishes aren't always a priority to one's rivals.
Buddy Blank
Wish into one hand, shit into the other: see which fills up first.
Conor Keaney
The brain thinks all the time, there is no off switch. One simply chooses what to think about.
Calvin N. Hobbes
"Don't worry about what people think of you; they're probably not thinking about you at all." said my grandad.
Jonathan Gammond
Who was the first guy that looked at a cow and said,"I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?"
Calvin N. Hobbes
If you’ve been lied to: don’t worry, they lie to everyone.
Swami Raj
You’re already in jeopardy – if only because you have no bickies for the cup!
Swami Raj
It's always that wrong turn that sets you in the right direction.
marty rubin
True friends are like stars, you don't always see them but you know their always there ;)
mikee cee
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN!
Calvin N. Hobbes
Whatever one does from this moment on means nothing; so what ever it is one should make it count.
David Davies
To refrain from imitation is the best revenge.
Marcus Aurelius
Joe Cool
This aphorism certainly isn’t about the next aphorism down on the Daily Aphorism list, but if it were I’d wonder what it was all about if I were you.
David Davies
To actually stand to be insulted is to be no less than you are because of it, only to be more so at the time.
Drew Byrne
Design to art is as religion to life
Ameen Roayan
Deviens qui tu dois être.
Marie Dumont
While "wasting one’s time with it", at the time one can occasionally make up a neat little aphorism about it as well...
Drew Byrne
What variety is to life, contradiction is to the mind.
marty rubin
Never jump out of a burning aircraft without checking your parachute first; you may regret it, not then maybe, but soon and for the rest of your life.
Drew Byrne
We all come down to dinner, but each has a room to himself.
Walter Baghot
Joe Cool
If you have the courage to withstand the fright of this fight long enough, you may just come out on the other end with your freedom in tact, and a little proof that standing your ground in the cloud of your dreams, is EXACTLY what increases the height of your flight.
Berette Macaulay
Curiosity is a "hot" state, like hunger and thirst.
Justin Kruger, NYU
Matt Evans, DePaul University
Grace Reid
Isn't important what to do, important what for to do!
Aygun Memmedova
Isn't important what to do, important what for to do!
Aygun Memmedova
Oh, whaty, whaty, whaty
Is in my little botty?
The whole world
Is full of it.
Anti Pasties
We often make people pay dearly for what they think we give them.
Comtesse Diane
Joe Cool
A "fake aphorism" will move you: it will move you from here to there and back again.
Fran Postlethwaite
Looking for new meaning, one may overlook meanings.
Fran Pistlethwaite
Incredulity is now
Cynical huff-puffing:
Undefined guesses.
Anti Pasties
Every destination knows that there's more than one way to get there.
marty rubin
Don’t take these aphorisms too literally, as you’ll never get out of the equation alive.
Frank Thought
Owing money doesn’t make you a thief but it only becomes a crime when you can’t pay it back.
Swami Raj
The truth can rip your heart out...but at least it's no lie...
Guy (with no brain)
It is not necessary to "fear the Unexpected," it is necessary simply to "jump on it and fuck its brains out!"
Drew Byrne
To live creatively I believe is to live honestly; in truth; however that is to be manifested by you - so long as it is satisfying an intrinsic need within you to feel, experience, create, or express, and NOT to satisfy some external requirement or subscription on how to live out the limited days you have on this earth.
Berette Macaulay
I broke up with self-sabotage; it wasn't working out.
Berette Macaulay
Focus on whats important, "Me, Myself and I" all else can be left at the roadside and some place inside me.
R.apidly A.pproaching
Instead of concentrating on the things in life that I don't have, I am grateful for the things that I don't want that I don't have.
Erikat Meowsica
This aphorism is about me; there's not much more to say about it.
Man-boy Indahouse
You so vain I bet you think this post is about you.
No Name
Not seeking is never in vain.
marty rubin
Time is the cruelest teacher; she first gives the test, then gives the lesson.
Erikat Meowsica
Does a rope sown into a ring have an end? Yes, but you can spend a long time searching for it.
Sailor Sam
Desire is a magnificent nomadic energy.
Berette Macaulay
Live for the truth or lie...
What are the consequences?
RECIPROCITY
Berette Macaulay
Against human nature we have but one defence: we can tell it to "fuck off!"
Drew Byrne
A felicidade é um par de botas.
Machado de Assis
Smile when it hurts the most.
The Cheshire Cat
Vengeance blackens the soul. Or was it already ready to be black?
Swami Raj
Once one has made it known of themselves to others they will always be there.
The Invisible Man
You don’t need “Escape money,” what you need is, “Fuck you!” money; if you don’t have, “Fuck you!” money there’s nowhere to escape to.
Swami Raj
We’re here for a good time, not a long time.
Damien Hurst
Joe Cool
I play "tic-tak-toe" with my computer and my computer plays "noughts and crosses" with me: we are both, "Free!"
Apain Indaarse
The minute you try to prove yourself is the moment you've lost the point. 'Doing it' moves you forward, 'proving it' takes you back.
Berette Macaulay
Memory after a while must become associational. For instance, Superman flying under a gable means what?
The Porcupine Kid & The One-Eyed Batman.
Who cares what you think? Nobody! So go and do it for yourself––alone!
Ms. Amyl Nitrate
FOLLOW YOUR DREAM
The money will follow, it will; believe it by not letting that be the focus or the reason.
Berette Macaulay
Being alone means being free.
IP Anthony
Let go and allow the universe to drive.
Cory Leader
Could the grass be greener only and simply because we have our backs turned to our own lawn while craning our necks over the fence to get a peep at the garden next door?
Berette Macaulay
“A new choice” should not be something that gives you less freedom to act, but that is frequently “not an option.”
Drew Byrne
Some die well;
Others die badly;
All die anyway.
Jack Thaed
Know it all, and you don’t have to ask any questions.
Zong Dinger
As we know, There are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know, there are known unknowns, that is to say, we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we do not know we do not know.
Donald Rumsfeld, Department of Defense
Number One
Wanna be remembered forever? Forget all trash.
Number One
Number One
Every young bachelor has a potential problem with married bliss: he can potentially become too attached to it.
Jimbo White
Try to think outside the box: you’ll be in it soon enough anyway.
Drew Byrne
Being “lost for words” only suggests you don’t know what you’re talking about, because you couldn’t possibly “prove it!”
Drew Byrne
It’s useful to have an opinion, so you can slip it in when nobody’s looking.
Swami Raj
The smile is the first weapon of the action; with this you can regulate your performance.
Swami Raj
At what age do we loose the skill of turning trash into treasure?
Mayari .net
A liar doesn't stop telling lies, they just tell different ones.
The Truth
Why is it so difficult to help people? Answer: cos we are imposing our own agenda.
Fiona Stiedl
Philippa Perry
Un dia em moriré. Avui em toca viure.
Anonimus
Anna Blas
LYING IS THE MOST FUN A GIRL CAN HAVE WITHOUT TAKING HER CLOTHES OFF.
Panic! At The Disco .
I am not a Robotnik – you are!
Robby the Robot
Sometimes, an answer can be found in a Chinese fortune cookie, but not if you don’t eat at Chinese restaurants.
Drew Byrne
Weaklings should never be told that their natural position in life is rock bottom, as they have to work this out for themselves.
Archie Pratt
The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle.
Colonel Jock Strap
Generousness goes with gregarious as apple goes with Eve...
Swami Raj
Most people who don’t doff their hats don’t get hats doffed at them.
Swami Raj
The trouble with learning is that it makes you forget more important things.
marty rubin
The fucker you know is worse than the fucker you don’t know.
Swami Raj
I would like to say more but feel that I cant.
James Bloomfield
Religious weapons drawn are dangerous to one another...
Swami Raj
Think before you’ve thunk!
Anonymus Anonymous
Screaming desperate cries on an unknown road left on your own is something the heart can't control.
Keyser Söze
Be wise and smile, and trade insult for insult.
Swami Raj
Around the world poverty changes its flavour, but the trap remains the same.
Swami Raj
"Don't let "the crazies" out!" (As they dwell deep within).
Archie Pratt
Your life is not rated by how far you've come, but who you have beaten to get there.
Josh Flood
In this day and age, the man with the largest power is the one who divides the smallest.
Josh Flood
Practical philosophy is “patty-cake patty-cake, baker’s man,” but that you play it by yourself for your own amusement, because you’re ultimately alone.
Bosmie Brecier
* Everything in life is simple, but we are not as simple as that. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Philosophy is a twilight stroll through the maze of language.
marty rubin
It's true isn't it? Philosophy is simply the profession of cerebral wanking... The wanker obviously gets release, but what do the wank-witnesses get? Blue confusion? What lucky bastards!
Berette Macaulay
Raw intelligence is not enough; it must be tempered with misunderstanding.
Drew Byrne
It's certainly a simple rule - though not always an easy one to follow:
If it hurts then stop doing it.
Berette Macaulay
Science is Weird.
Wyatt Smith
If you can't laugh at yourself, make yourself laugh.
Gary Hall
We can all see the future. If you don't like what you see change your perspective.
Peripheral Visionary
Don't believe everything you think. Anon
Anna Campbell
* When hope dies, belief lives on. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
"You can love someone so much, but you can never love them as much as you can miss them."
Andrea Spencer
In today's world, we live among the gadgets, with forgotten letters and unheard voices...remembering 'the real life' while walking alone in false light. It's now awkward to look someone in the eye, or hold a pen or a person's hand.
Berette Macaulay
The world isn't round everywhere. One plus one doesn't always make two.
marty rubin
Wars are fought so that Hollywood can make movies of them.
Swami Raj
* We have all come from dots and Nature joins them up.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
In life, you have to show up even if it makes you throw up.
Corey Novick
War is only a temporary anomaly; it’s peace that people can’t stand to live with
John Smith
LOVE IS TOO COMPLEX FOR ME, IT GIVES ME HEADACHES.
genn .
You must be a child in order to grow.
Maria Shao
A woman's day is never over: they've got to get up in the mornings to do it.
Vlad Volvos
In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in an clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.
Mahatma Gandhi
* World’s local congratulations to all women in The International Women’s Day!
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
People are less complicated than they think they are. They are also more complicated than we think they are.
enira arvanda
The places you've been in your imagination are places you've never been.
marty rubin
* Where there are no boders, there is still a horizon.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Design is thought, Art is delivery.
Design not to hide but to show, not the best but what is real, not anything only what matters not to you but to everything you leave behind
Ameen Roayan
*Glimpses through the door of the future that you seek makes you weak.(revision)
Cory Leader
Glimpses of the future through the door make you weak. Not knowing what you seek make you stronger than the meak.
Cory Leader
Strength is what you make of it.
Drew Byrne
Once I fell down a hole. The only thing I thought was : shit!
kalheb karr
To die for an idea doesn't mean it's a good one
ben renaudini
How to be remembered: LIVE ABSOLUTELY, LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY, DIE TRAGICALLY.
Warren Draper
* Distorting mirrors correct the world.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Don’t sell your dreams without knowing what they cost.
Swami Raj
Men will fight so hard in all their lives, as death is only a heartbeat away.
Swami Raj
pride is a killer of any forward motion
Berette Macaulay
What is true only for a moment is truer than what's always true.
marty rubin
Tell the whole world your secret, but keep it from yourself.
marty rubin
Mind the GAP
Berette Macaulay
Your always too young,
Never too old.
sherna khambatta
It's not the people,
it's the system.
Stephanie Iacobacci
The fatal metaphor of progress, which means leaving things behind us, has utterly obscured the real idea of growth, which means leaving things inside us.
G. K. Chesterton
The best way out is always through.
Robert Frost
fear of mediocrity creates it.
Berette Macaulay
Most information is withheld mostly from those who most need it.
The Ghost in the Machine
After a while…time passes by…and you run after it.
Swami Raj
Selfish acts should never go unpublished.
Drew Byrne
* We'll all be there one day. So there we are.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
You live, you die; that’s all you’ve got to do.
Swami Raj
The surest path is not the straight line, but the dream.
Swami Raj
* The only trouble with competitors, is that each of them think that they are more intelligent than the other. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The trouble with thinking you are being clever, is that thinking it does not make it so much so.
Drew Byrne
He who is breathing needs no further proof.
marty rubin
No one understands the music, only the music understands.
marty rubin
An emerging intellectual is one who periodically examines himself for signs of nits.
Archie Pratt
* Self-criticism is the most welcome sign of cultural maturity. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
There is no I in team, but there is always one arsehole.
Anonymus Anonymous
* When lightning strikes, don’t wait up for thunder. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
where death walks, life sleeps
Fintan Moloney
T. CREW
IS F*CKING
IN HEAVEN.
tapoué crew
Once a teenager once one once new better, but once one didn’t know better than that.
Drew Byrne
Win, and you reap the fruits of your own personal victory; fail, and you fail all alone.
Drew Byrne
When you’ve nowhere left to go, you’ve already arrived.
Drew Byrne
You are not born bankrupt, you become one.
Bruce Kriger
During the global crisis a bank statement is the leading cause of impotence.
Bruce Kriger
Acrobatics is an art of defying gravity without breaking legs.p.
Bruce Kriger
Womanizer in a nunnery is like a bull in a china shop.
Bruce Kriger
Making ladies' man a faithful husband as hard as to lose hope to do so.
Bruce Kriger
How many wonderful thoughts were lost because of inattentive listeners?
Bruce Kriger
Aphorism is a test for slow thinkers.
Bruce Kriger
My life is like a 21 year long music video on mtv
Scott Butler
Never ASSUME, for it will make an ASS out of YOU and make ME laugh my head off.
Drew Byrne
And there
Amidst the waves and the cloudless skies
That blanket the year before
I watch my life wash ashore
Tim McIlrath
The world is what you think it is.
(Serge Kahili King)
Hans J. Walter
How many times do you have to make a stupid mistake before you realize that that's the way to do it, stupid?
Drew Byrne
Between the bark and the tree, do not put your finger.
danielle ahanda
When all else fails, Quit.
Cory Leader
Delayed gratification: Something you are prepared to wait for, provided that, if you want some more, it is always on offer later.
Rick Bayan
After witty-wit comes a tweeting-twit!
Yzarc Tibbar
What can you do when you don’t know what to do? I don’t know!
Archie Pratt
There are no simple solutions to imaginary problems.
marty rubin
When lightning strikes, write it down.
marty rubin
One’s own stupidity doesn’t have to be thought about too much, but it does need to be done properly to be accomplished well.
Drew Byrne
The subtle point that you have missed cannot be all that important to you, until that time when it comes up and whacks you in the face with it’s alacrity.
Drew Byrne
Predicting one’s fate is much easier than changing it.
Bruce Kriger
Clever people do not believe horoscopes, they make them.
Bruce Kriger
Nothing hurts imagination of the architect as the greed of his client.
Bruce Kriger
Stupidity of the military is rarely compensated by the beauty of their uniforms.
Bruce Kriger
"Only the fools confuse the burden of his stupidity with the weight of the responsibility."
—Pascual Candel Palazon, Spanish poet and writer.
Nathan Ditko
"Books are my temple ...that's why you will find me at the bar."
—Pascual Candel Palazon, Spanish poet and writer.
Nathan Ditko
"Man's destiny is remembering women that forgot him..."
—Pascual Candel Palazon, Spanish writer.
Nathan Ditko
Gossip = not respecting that person.
Scott Stevens
Life: a place where your dinner goes cold while you’re eating it, but you’re supposed to enjoy it anyway.
Drew Byrne
* The king's fool has the whole Kingdom under his cap. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
There is wisdom in knowing what you need to know, and being wise enough to keep it to yourself.
Anonymus Anonymous
You only learn by doing something the hard way, only if you learn how not to do it the easy way.
Drew Byrne
Never lose sight of what makes you happy!
so.ba Propaganda
People shall always need to be put in their place occasionally, or else they usually wouldn’t quite know exactly where to stand.
Drew Byrne
This life of ours has always been the competitive environment; while the rat race is simply a new twist in the monkey’s tale.
Drew Byrne
If you can begin by asking a question to get an answer, then any answer you receive can be an answer you can begin to question.
Drew Byrne
When everything is a joke nothing is funny.
marty rubin
Sometimes I think, Sometime I don't
Art Arao
* It's easier to kill time than to stop it. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* It's easier ti kill time than to stop it. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. John Lennon
Pauline Pfirrmann
Nice people are naive, guess it's time to be an arsehole.
Cory Leader
It's difficult to be even-handed when you just don't feel like it, but then you're probably not up to it anyway.
Jake Tankard
I'm not afraid that my life will end, on the contrary I'm afraid it will never start
Amber Gonelli
Viagra reduced the sales of large cars.
Bruce Kriger
We're all looking for redemption.
Narciso Dias
Some days you eat the bear; some days the bear eats you.
S G
Do justice, love mercy, walk humbly. Sometimes it's that simple. It's always that difficult.
Chloe Zaffini
Proving the obvious is not easy to do.
marty rubin
If everything went wrong that could go wrong, that'd be a perfect day.
marty rubin
Why so many of us a million years ago purposely knocked out major chunks of our brains with alcohol from time to time remains an interesting mystery. It may be we were trying to to give evolution a shove in the right direction -- in the direction of smaller brains.
Kurt Vonnegut
Reflect on this...I am not here.
Goggle-eyed pea-brain
God doesn’t matter because God has his own justification.
Swami Raj
Either way all you need is a strong spirit.
Olga
Olga Alexandrova
* Nobody can predict the direction of a rolling stone, but everyone knows where it will come to rest. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Its hard to keep your chin up when you have a heavy head.
Kevin Bacon
Selfless acts should never go unpunished.
Drew Byrne
To attack someone with a lie is disgraceful; to attack him with the truth is much worse.
Drew Byrne
The past life is kind of sad; you’ll know it when you see it.
Swami Raj
The temptation of roads. Every one leads somewhere away from here.
marty rubin
The rain that falls wherever it pleases. I want to be that rain.
marty rubin
Lack of the right information is the greatest lack of all.
Drew Byrne
* The British sun is always raining.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Truer words have not been spoken when there’s nothing to be said.
Drew Byrne
Share ideas and live forever.
Anis Bengiuma
The best things in life aren't things.
Lu Farah
The funniest joke in the world is the one that you may not find so funny after all...
Drew Byrne
S.O.B.E.R.
Son Of a B**ch Everything's Real
-Gary Busey-
Cory Leader
Realizing reality is hard to realize.
Chris White
* There are no miracles, but we all dream of them.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
You can't dissect anything, not even a dream, without killing it.
marty rubin
Who can make people laugh has an absolute advantage, over those who can make them cry.
- Bruce Kriger
Bruce Kriger
Faith is as natural as the need to breathe, to love, to dream.
- Bruce Kriger
Bruce Kriger
There are those who turn lies into truth and the truth into lies, until the difference remains the same to the perceptive fellow.
Drew Byrne
What can be done with the one who knows too much other than to give him his due?
Drew Byrne
What is too much of anything? Too much of anything is a lie!
Swami Raj
The group is the soup in which the lobster boils as it swims.
Anonymous
Joe Cool
* You'll never finish your journey if you meet everyone half way. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If you consider that you really know how it is, have you told anybody your secret yet?
Drew Byrne
You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be.
Chuck Palahniuk
It is fair to say that when you have been made an example of, then you have become the example.
Drew Byrne
* Never look for the light at the end of the tunnel in the middle of the night. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
(The alternative sort of a solution)
Leonid Sukhorukov
Solutions often mask the fact that there is no problem.
marty rubin
The way I see it, I got three choices. One, I can shoot him. Two, I can kick the crap out of him. Or three, I leave you. Well, all that's no good. You see, 'cause none of those options get me you.
Lon Hammond Jr.
Wear me for a reason and NEVER be quite about me.
Promise Ring
Sometime around midnight or until the day I die, my life will be seen for all on Feb. 5th 2010.
John Tyree
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. - Charlie Brown -
Julius Seizer
It’s a sad world; just try not to be sad yourself.
Swami Raj
“These then are my last words to you. Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.” - William James -
Julius Seizer
Never plant a sapling, for you are in the moment.
Ed Risbey
Work first, then Relax.
James Versteegen
Be the shepherd, not the sheep.
James Versteegen
Play your cards right and I'll do exactlly what you tell me to.
Julius Seizer
The experience of a broken heart is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.
Cory Leader
* The hottest point on earth is always between the poles.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Sometimes the background is the most aesthetically pleasing thing to view/hear.
Cory Leader
I've grown fond of playing second fiddle in the background of life.
طالب Talib
In dreams and stories we rearrange our lives.
marty rubin
When you have a long way to go that is just the beginning...
Swami Raj
A man has to be what he is – you can’t break the mould.
Swami Raj
I am not a robot
Zainab Noor
Men of different nationalities are like dogs of different breeds ... despite whatever predispositions, a good dog is a good dog, and a bad dog is a bad dog
Zainab Noor
Zeus is a god and I am a dog.
طالب Talib
My only true vice is you, how foolish.
Julius Seizer
Money can't buy you happiness, but atleast you can choose your misery
Zainab Noor
If God wanted you to smoke, he would have put a chimney on top of your head ~ Grandpa McDonagh
Zainab Noor
If everything is meant to be, there is no such thing as magic
Zainab Noor
Beats are to body as lyrics are to soul ~ Zainab
Zainab Noor
To say the mind comes from the brain is indisputable, but I prefer to qualify the statement and consider the reasons why the brains neuron's behave in such a thoughtful manner ~ Damasio, 1994
Zainab Noor
When in doubt ... move a pawn ~ Zainab
Zainab Noor
Tomarrow is promised to nobody
Zainab Noor
Good health is a light grace; it is forgotten when found and mentioned when missing ~ Imam Ali
Zainab Noor
Debt is grief by night and humility by day ~ Imam Ali
Zainab Noor
Life is to rent a house and buy bread
Zainab Noor
Too much trivial information lets you seek more easily for a satisfying lack of it.
Drew Byrne
“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.” - David Harkins -
Julius Seizer
The answer is already evidently clear The omnipresent Uncle will have your hand and wear your ring.
Julius Seizer
I looked in the mirror today and I saw the shell of a man that once was grand. His his ego was battered and bruised but EPOH was still present.
Julius Seizer
Lying is like committing suicide, you've killed your character.
Julius Seizer
Everything has its tax, the tax of knowledge is to other people ( Every generation has its dependency ... I'm from the spell check generation ) >.<
Zainab Noor
The most favorable friend to me is that who shows me my flaws
Zainab Noor
Everything has its task, the tax of knowledge is to other people
Zainab Noor
You don't miss the water till the well runs dry
Zainab Noor
Do not answer those who speak before they greet you
Zainab Noor
Repetition gets the message across to the fresh-faced indignant—but why bother starting with them?
Drew Byrne
Fidelity is easier to keep at the complete absence of nearby persons of the opposite sex.
Bruce Kriger
People suffer from blind faith in their non-blindness.
Bruce Kriger
There is nothing less reassuring, than excessive self-confidence.
Bruce Kriger
I once complained I had no shoes ... Until I met a woman with no feet >.<
Zainab Noor
The innocent lack insight, The guilty lack purity, To obtain pure insight is truely a blessing ~ Zainab
Zainab Noor
To be humble is to take less than you need and to give more than you have
Zainab Noor
Eat Less, Speak Less, Sleep Less ... Have More Patience
Zainab Noor
If you are incapable of having a decent relationship with your brother in humanity, what makes you think you are capable of having a decent relationship with God
~ Zainab Noor
Zainab Noor
Women think they know everything , Men pretend they do ~ Zainab
Zainab Noor
Patience is for those who wait
Zainab Noor
No man wants a woman poked more than a pin cusion ~ Know what I mean Jelly Bean ? 2010 answers ~ huh?
Zainab Noor
Every great oak tree was once just a little nut who stood his ground
Zainab Noor
If " IF's " and " BUT's " were candy and nuts ... what a wonderful world it would be ... But mom! If Only ... >.<
Zainab Noor
Whether we like it or not, we should be happy. Whether we know it or not, we ARE happy.
Jaden Walker
I am very curious person, but apparently not curious enough to commit a suicide.
Olga Alexandrova
If your life hits a brick wall, walk right through.
marty rubin
If your life hits a brick wall, walk right thriugh.
marty rubin
If you can’t give and take, you can’t take without being arrested.
Drew Byrne
Besides from the fact that words are very unnecessary, they also fail to convey the weight and authority of an individual, due to their discrete form and nature.
sevkan ariburnu
Safety - is the most dangerous illusion.
Bruce Kriger
The best way to get rid of the fantasies is get them fulfilled.
Bruce Kriger
Good lie needs no proof.
Bruce Kriger
* There is no absurd opinion that some of us can’t help expressing. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* A cat which has been in the bag too long becomes a rat.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Opinions are like arseholes: everybody has one and they always go off when least expected.
Drew Byrne
I'm just trying to "out-do" the last post. Their hasn't been anything worth reading here since the "...Illuminating God's face." post. But hey what I know this is just an opinion and opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.
Cory Leader
Where then is the exit if you have to get in to get out?
Drew Byrne
Even if you ate a giant, you will not become one.
Bruce Kriger
Its better o be disillusioned than under an illusion
-can't remember where I first saw this but its SO true!
Bex Shaw
I'm doing nothing today; don't interrupt me.
marty rubin
Life is a constant struggle against redundancy.
William Sunset
love is a struggle against your self.
sunwill rise
* The Tree of Knowledge grows stronger from weatherbeaten seeds. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Aphorism: a post-it note on the bedpost in the amnesiac ward of wisdom.
Peter Capofreddi
It’s always good to have pen and paper with you because you never know when you’ll get an autograph from inspiration.
Elaan Grassler
The difference between being in the groove
And being in a rut
Is how long you've been there.
Tee Fred
Words of wisdom: food for thought that shows you it’ll all come out right in the end.
Drew Byrne
Buddha knows nothing
But only in fleeting moments
soul Beckett
The difference between being blessed or cursed is whether you're thankful for what you have, or resent what you don't.
Jim Adams
Pinocchio learned to tell tall tales to the puppet master, because the truth hurt his little wounded heart.
Alfonso Capone
* When you light a candle for someone, you illuminate God's face. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A puppet whose strings got cut learned to walk all on its own.
marty rubin
* Our diseases are so old fashioned, they can't keep up with the new medicines. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Medicine has made a huge step forward. It decided that if a patient is sick or dies - this is fine, because how many more remain healthy?
Bruce Kriger
LIfe is a constant battle against futility.
Olivia Rowland
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you... stranger
from Twitter
Tiphereth Gloria
Democracy was invented to ensure that under any circumstances, polititions can cry out to the people: "It's your own fault!"
Bruce Kriger
The Hole is greater than the sum of it's parts.
Moses Murphy
The conflict between career and family is a myth, it is a conflict within yourself.
Bruce Kriger
Every line is the perfect length if you don't measure it.
marty rubin
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Kate Garner
* A shipwreck will occur when the captain knows everythimg, but the crew doesn't. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Forgeting your ambitions make life meaningless, forgeting your life for the sake of ambitions make them meaningless.
Bruce Kriger
Depression is highly contagious.
Bruce Kriger
Not surprisingly, faith in God is literally encoded in our genes. Guess Who coded them?
Bruce Kriger
An atheist is like a man who does not want to buy insurance.
Bruce Kriger
If Columbus had not discovered America, it would not attack Iraq.
Bruce Kriger
Belief in the immortality of the soul is needed for a man to remain human.
Bruce Kriger
Order is what exists before you start arranging things.
marty rubin
* Doctors cure Nature's mistakes with mistakes of their own. Leonid S. Sukhorukov.
Leonid Sukhorukov
Nothing lasts as long as the present moment.
Bruce Kriger
Times are changing - the debts remain.
Bruce Kriger
Choosing a bride, always look at her ex-husband.
Bruce Kriger
Damage caused by doctors, can only be compared with the damage caused by their absence.
Bruce Kriger
If God wanted to arrange the universe in any other way, he would certainly do so.
Bruce Kriger
For some events God simply forgot to invent the reasons.
Bruce Kriger
* May each twist and turn of our destiny be a zigzag of luck! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
P.S.: Happy New Year to all!
Leonid Sukhorukov
What are the rules when you're not playing?
marty rubin
Every New Year there’s another day to start again; it’s tomorrow, don’t miss it!
Jojo Juju
* The roads to wisdom are paved with skulls. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Someone will read this and like it. Yet another example of supernaivety.
Kristina Mangov
The strongest form of dependence is being a slave to one`s prejudices.
Kristina Mangov
Don’t save a drop from the ocean when the ocean is so full.
Swami Raj
It’s easy to be philosophical when it’s some other poor sod that’s short of blood.
Swami Raj
* The wider you smile at your troubles, the easier it is to swallow them. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Some people should keep quiet. When talking, they strip words of their meanings.
Kristina Mangov
Accepted aphorisms are certain past events.
Rejected aphorisms are future certain events.
Kristina Mangov
* Once a woman has given you her heart, there is less room left for your own. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
It's a new day, it's a new dawn, it's a new life, when you're feeling fine.
Joe Palooka!
Life is...a love that has to be enough for a lifetime.
Kristina Mangov
Love shows that folly is not alien to the wisest.
Kristina Mangov
Dreams that scare us wake us up.
marty rubin
WAKE UP OR DIE.
Emma Ballentyne
We spend a greater part of our lives fighting evil without even realizing it.
Kristina Mangov
There is a genius resting in everyone. Unfortunately, that rest lasts too long.
Kristina Mangov
* Progress is the evolution of dogmas.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The essence of progress is anomaly
Steven Monteray
Vices of real world are virtues of movies.
s.a
sevkan ariburnu
All’s well that ends well with a life that’s rounded with a smile.
Drew Byrne
What’s the difference between a fucker and a screwer? It’s a question of emphasis.
Swami Raj
You win! – All else is loss! Now that’s direction isn’t it?
Swami Raj
It isn’t in the plan to not make it work due to the lack of right information.
Swami Raj
i love gmail; it has a delete forever button.
sevkan ariburnu
Success reveals how little ambition is worth.
marty rubin
…so many mistakes…so little time to do them...
chris chronos
* Success magnifies hidden vices. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Enthusiasm paves the way to success, but can you live with it?
Drew Byrne
...When I look upward, I earn time. When I look forward, I utilise time. When I look inward, I save time. When I look backward, I waste time. Sri Chimnoy
Leonid Sukhorukov
Time is relative, the passing of time absolute.
marty rubin
To accept what you are not is even easier than not accepting what you are.
Drew Byrne
The good thing is: we have only one flaw.
The bad thing is: it gives rise to all the rest.
Kristina Mangov
Each of us two could kill love even if they don`t aim straight...
Kristina Mangov
* A mask is prepared to face anything. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
HE IS SO DEPRIVED OF PERSONALITY THAT EVEN THE MASK HE WEARS CAN NOT CONCEAL THAT...
Kristina Mangov
LOVE GETS TWICE AS DECEITFUL ONCE WE BELIEVE IN ITS OMNIPOTENCE.
Kristina Mangov
The best of us can always put on "that happy face": that smile among equals.
Drew Byrne
THE OTHERS THOUGHT HE WAS DUMB; IN FACT HE HAD LONG AGO TOLD EVERYTHING...
Kristina Mangov
Your best friend is a screwer, and your best friend is you.
Swami Raj
The first mistake: thinking you’re more important than others. The second mistake: thinking that should make a difference to what you do.
joe quaqkwy
Weakness in man is abhorrent to woman, as it makes her eggs turn sour.
Defined Dunroamin'
When you wake up, you never know what will happen next.
marty rubin
* You never understand a point until you fail to explain it to a child. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
# Speed of light - save energy and turn it off
# Love - a parallel gravity
# Ego - a state of universal paranoia
Pandora Shallcross
The version of a fact is more important than the fact itself.
Augusto Sales
Indifference is what you get for the sake of indifference; being buggered for it is what you get for being indifferent around a cynic.
Archie Pratt
if you restrict your personality, you can get anything you want.
Scott Butler
Normality is overrated.
so is abnormality.
sevkan ariburnu
Obligation is a strong thing, but you can refuse it and it’ll die on you...
Swami Raj
If you don’t want your wife to have your bollocks put them in trust.
Swami Raj
Somebody who wishes to act well for himself with a bit of mendacity must also know that it won’t leave a stain on a devious character…
Drew Byrne
"The game" is a foot Watson!
Freddie Neatzeist
“The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.” Friedrich Nietzsche
Leonid Sukhorukov
Never join two things that would be happier apart.
marty rubin
* A good aphorism bridges the walls that divide people. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The game is like my dick, long and hard.
Scott Butler
If you want to hurt person the most, tell him/her i love you and don't mean it.
Olga Alexandrova
The problem with stupid choices is that in the most of the time they are the most enjoyable.
Olga Alexandrova
Even the sweetest chocolate goes bad one day and so do our relationships.
Olga Alexandrova
What you earn you can keep, but that’s no justification as to why it should be yours.
Swami Raj
* The poor are led by want, the rich by whim. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Handing one's troubles over to God makes sense even to an atheist.
marty rubin
Now what you need is money, with money you can afford to be happy.
Swami Raj
If ever you're out looking for a good answer, at least you can't be that silly.
Jojo Juju
Stationary Rooms make for profitable sub-businesses when organised correctly. Ensure to keep stocked up on blank DVDs and batteries
Clare Popham
Q: If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
A: You are already an animal.
Phil Bartlett
At what point does a person become: old, unattractive or a failure?When they and others think so. Why not control 1/2 of your fate and influence the other 1/2? Remember, 70% is passing and its easy; just a smile and a twinkle in your eyes are worth at least 30%.
Henri Robert
Time screws everybody eventually.
Swami Raj
Remove yourself from the equation.
Sugiona Boylee
If you put tar on the roof it may fix the leak but don’t ask me if I want it for free.
Swami Raj
first aphorisms are difficult to write...
john Munson
* Truth is too complicated to remain unchanged. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Now that I no longer think I find words for all my thoughts.
marty rubin
Truth is stranger than fiction, but fiction is more honest.
Stephanie McAllister
stephanie mCALLISTER
It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.
Tyler Durden
Nostalgia is the last resort of the disallusioned
Mark Judge
Never put a frozen sausage on a hot grill.
Ms. Porkiez Piezies
* The richest man is the one who feels rich enough. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If you ask enough questions people won’t like it, but you may eventually discover why they shove the dirt under the carpet to keep the house tidy.
Swami Raj
They say, "money doesn’t make you happy". It does make the poorer happy and the miserable happier.
Melinda Messenger
I doubt, therefore I think; I think therefore I am- Descartes
Tori Rowland
It’s easier to be cool with money than to be cool without money.
Swami Raj
If the world didn't suck so much we'd all fall of it.
meg addison
Up until the last moment it's okay to forget about death.
marty rubin
The day you run out of time, you won’t have the time to regret it either.
Drew Byrne
Life will bite your arse when you’re out looking for it, in its incarnation of death.
Swami Raj
The fool is led up the garden path by the nose not by another, but by his own foolishness.
The Wise One
Where there is light, there must also be shadows.
Lithuanian Proverb.
Anthony Packer
A discovered deceit is more insidious when you have deceived yourself into believing the ridiculous was true.
Jake Tankard
Diving head first into an empty pool only serves one purpose. Knowledge for the fool.
Cory Leader
An example of onanism in the boxes with Pamela is worth two in the hand at the pictures in Soho...
Anonymus Anonymous
Worse for wear?
I'm wearing it well.
Guy Danter
Love is not secondary.
Russell Sivey
* Practice kills theories. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Suppose a eunuch could describe an orgasm perfectly. Would that be compensation?
marty rubin
* You can't illuminate the world by burning yourself out. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Never go to a doctor in a black suite. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Seduction is half of the art of life: If you want to succeed at something on occasion you have to "pull it", not "push it".
Swami Raj
To believe in nothing can be quite convenient sometimes…
Swami Raj
The aphorism as "the only real open channel to worldly wisdom for humanity"? Surely, the gods were laughing when they made that one up!
Jocular Juvinal
The Wise One said, “A man alone is easy prey,” and it is also easier to get “buggered” there as well by party-poopers.
Jojo Juju
Similarity attracts; dissimilarity WE eat for lunch!
Jojo Juju
I am not a National Insurance Number, I am a free man!
NI No. ME 17 08 61 D
As Confucius said, "A man with a plugged-in telly sees many things." He must have been a visionary.
Low Tao
Joe Cool
"Push" and you shall find your limitations in no time!
Drew Byrne
Mother Mary, have mercy on us.
R. A.
You're walking, talking, feeling fine; given health, there's nothing better than money.
Swami Raj
My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?
Role Model
It's stupid not to be stupid sometimes.
marty rubin
your happy snowflake is like no other, its lost in the search of another.
tadhg mc cullagh
Who wants to better this world? This world isn’t meant to be bettered it’s meant to be lived with.
Swami Raj
It's so bad, its actually good.
Joyce Kung
What doesn’t belong to you, don’t cry about it; it’s not yours, it’s Gods.
Swami Raj
God is hope…that’s what people turn to.
Swami Raj
You need no diamonds to feel rich - when you can enjoy the sparkling sun on water
Renate Schaper-Stewart
Design the product to do the job!
Machine Man
God grant me the confidence to ignore my conscience at my convenience whenever I have the confidence to ignore it with impunity, even though I am still watching but nobody else sees me do it.
Nick Knock
When you realize how you make your mistcakes, you can make them better.
Drew Byrne
We're all crazy ... it's just a matter of degree.
Barbara Holmes
We're all drowning, but don't say it out loud.
marty rubin
Even at the library some sights are filtered for your convenience.
The Librarian
* Stop your watches! Let time fly! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* What is fog on the surface? Lots of water inside. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
My utopia: a bench facing the sun.
marty rubin
If you don't pay attention, it could cost you.
Steven Ingersoll
When pure light shines in a man's eyes is he not just as blind as if her were in darkness.
Steven Ingersoll
All this time spent working on my computer, only to find out that my computer has been working on me.
James Schneider
When all else fails, shoot yourself in the foot.
Cory Leader
no man is an island but some are incontinent
VALDA Rubio
Anyone can be miserable, if they work at it hard enough.
marty rubin
* Everything in life is temporal - and that’s eternal. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Hope is a temporary solution until a real solution comes along.
marty rubin
Sex should be like the Christian story of creation - man should come first.
Pardigan Start
Money may not buy happiness, but it can buy the best therapy.
Pardigan Start
* Hope gives us wings but doesn't teach us how to fly. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Hope shouldn't be printed on dollar bills.
Andrew Ashton
Openness is closeted from a darker corner.
Swami Raj
* The wider you smile today, the more expensive your plastic surgery tomorrow. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A sense of humor is indispensable especially when you don't have one.
marty rubin
Almost anyone can come up with something witty and clever to say at least once in a while, but for him to continue to do so can be very annoying.
Drew Byrne
An afluence of tragedies, always means there is something good about to happen... So take a sit.
Camila Rous
How plain it is: to find out how stupid one is.
Dorf Knob Jr.
Whenever they burn one of the writers for free speech, they use his books as fuel.
Heimell Heinrich
Joe Cool
You think it really matters? Wait till tomorrow, you won't think so by then.
Josh Reyes
If you don’t know what you’re looking at, how do you find out what it is? If you can’t find out what it is, how do you know what you’re looking at?
Thiddlededum & Twiddlededee
Why get distracted by nothing, especially when you can be distracted by everything?
Drew Byrne
Things do not change- we change.
-Henry David Thoreau
R. A.
The F*ck-It Bucket: a bucket full of candy.
"when sh*t brings you down, just say 'f*ck it', and eat yourself some motherf*cking candy."
- 'Me Talk Pretty One Day'/ David Sedaris
R. A.
It has always been that failure is so much more interesting than success, but is not something to be taken so lightly.
Toby Philpots
^ The best lies are served after good meals. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Casual conversation is all chin-chin-waggy, eye-eye-waggy, and wanky-wanky-waggy—and don’t let anybody tell you different!
Swami Raj
The best lie is easily told honey on the tongue.
Anonymus Anonymous
There are only two kinds of people in this world, those who consider and those who calculate with the rest of them.
Antipasties .
Nobody likes to see the crap on the carpet...
Swami Raj
I wish I knew now what I'm gonna know then.
Gee Dee
The golden rule kicks all the other tin-pot rules in the face with a boot full of gilt-edged securities.
Kilt Boy
* Family life is the constant fight for coexistence within incompatibility. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When, despite every care, you are pushed inexorably down the line to your final destination – you should have thought to get off at Waterloo.
Journeyman Barber magazine
A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her.
-Oscar Wilde
R. A.
Why ask the name of a man who will destroy the world? Just to know 1 of many who have been doing so.
Cy Zero
How small human beings look next to their ideals. But it's really the ideals that are small.
marty rubin
Time slips by, and by it slips.
James Tremain
Image is everything; substance has nothing to do with it.
Anonymus Anonymous
Cynicism is great; censorship is greater.
Trilby Tippa
* The uncertainty of a professional is more certain than the certainty of an amateur. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Everything is worth precisely what you want to pay for it.
greek fella!
A proverb unsaid is wisdwom wasted.
Melvin Burgess
Everything has a price – even the unpriceable.
Drew Byrne
Sometimes biting your own tongue can save your face.
Cory Leader
Why ask the raindrop why it falls or the dog why it howls at the moon? Just fly little fellow – fly!
Swami Raj
The obvious is not so obvious when a mistake has been made because of it.
Drew Byrne
* Obstacles create opportunities. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Changing your opinion is making the same mistake all over again.
marty rubin
It’s not every day you get stranded in the present.
lauren oh
I didn’t notice what was there about life: it passes.
Swami Raj
The caterpillar is the butterfly's disguise.
marty rubin
* The eternal question: how to put an end to what one should not begun? Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* The indifferent miss out on life. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Indifference is the key to all human understanding, as it sharpens the point and brings it home.
Drew Byrne
What is a friend? One who comes in adversity without pretence.
Secret Squirrel
You can be a very clever man, although still not a very wise one.
Magda Goebbels
To be courageous is to be defiant, but to be defiant is not always courageous. Find your courage to defy your odds and dead ends.
David Karam
* No matter how long you teach a fool, he still knows everything. - Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Leonid S. Sukhorukov and marty rubin “spank the monkey” around here way too often to be healthy…once a month is good enough for any man.
Joe Cool
Nothing and everything have at least one thing in common.
Hannes Couvreur
* Life is a constant round of laughing and crying. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Life is a constant round of laughing and crying. Leonid S. Sukhgorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Always do what you want - it's not worth doing anything else.
Jake Tankard
If you can't party with the one you love, you can't love the one you party with.
Gina Maggio
If you ever need a helping hand, they'll give you "the monkey's paw".
Drew Byrne
Thank heaven we are all expendable and free to go our own way.
marty rubin
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. ~ George Bernard Shaw
Ann babic
If you don’t know what “an ordinary life” is, you certainly haven’t got one.
Monty Don
Invention is like migration - it holds the desires of the new along with all the fears of the unknown!
michael 1p.com.au
* Everything looks more shiny on a darker surface. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Good friends are like lobsters: if you boil them alive for dinner they scream for mercy.
Annie, get your gun.
I like deadlines. It's the wonderful swooshing sound they make as they rush by.
Sennsha Denby
Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.
Annie Clarke
Give me “the edge” any day, as any other day its all just “fried green tomatoes”!
Mark Ashton
Don’t forget to think before you’d think to have thunk!
Joe Cool
Beware of those who aren't content with soup and bread.
marty rubin
I’ve never yet seen a confirmed optimist who’d not be better off thinking of himself as a bit of a pessimist at heart.
Archie Pratt
How to think fast: understand what eats you first.
Mustafa Kamel
STAY CALM AND CARRY ON
WWII
J Center
All art is relative...relative to how much money you can make out of it.
puddin' face
sometimes pretending not to care is worse than not caring.
Kaitlyn Cares
If you can eventually manage to see the light at the end of the tunnel, it would still have been much safer to take the ferry.
Archie Pratt
If you see a light at the end of the tunnel -
pray it's not a train.
David Kretz
There are only 3 types of people.
Those who can count and those who can't.
David Kretz
There are only 10 different types of people.
Those who can read binary and those who can't.
David Kretz
Understanding WHY you do something crazy does not make you cease doing it.
Elizabeth Sullivan
After your first mistake, your balls will drop (unless, of course, you happen to be a woman).
Archie Pratt
Mistakes are punishable by another try.
marty rubin
What is more important than learning how to do something? Learning how not to do it.
Swami Raj
* Mistakes can be logical, ideological or pathological. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Boredom is a time of refreshment.
marty rubin
Mistake neither an aphorist for a wise man nor a wise man for an aphorist.
Drew Byrne
Heaven is something to threaten little boys with when they wet the bed.
Damon Daemon
* Life is measured not in time but by the memory of special moments. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When time runs out on you—you should have known better!
Andrew Grant
look in the mirror to find the key to the world. look in the mind to find the key to the universe
Jayéswara yogi
* God made women beautiful. The devil made some of them too clever. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Those who have nothing to say have lots to tell. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When the same words mean different things to you later, haven’t you just missed the point?
Andrew Grant
Accepting the inevitable, is not inevitable.
Buddy Blank
Wisdom too can be a drug and rob you of your spirit.
marty rubin
Only boring people get bored.
Tamara Komuniecki
* A little foolishness saves us from the boredom of perfection. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Live like your dead.
Ayo Folarin
Why, every relationship ever made is composed of a first step that setp may be a one night stand, a pat on the back, simple handshake, but if that relationship is solid it will have its cracks, and dry patches, and eventually become good again, but if it is simply just a hoax then it will seem like smooth sailing, until you hit the bramuda triangle of relationships, and then your left drowning with nothing, but three points to save you, which in life are death, suffering, or courage, the courage to stand up and realize that the person that just did that is a complete and total ass, simply smile and walk away.
Emilee O'hara
When it comes down to testilying in court, the truth is never quite good enough.
Drew Byrne
Live is just evil spelled backwards
hmmmmmm nope cant do it
Live is just evil spelled backwards
hmmmmmm nope cant do it
Zen: the calm in the chaos - cool!
Swami Raj
Trial and error: how the “smart monkey” always gets caught “at it”.
Rob Dillon
You can't swim in a sea of symbols, but you can drown there.
marty rubin
Out of ignorance or expediency we give all snowflakes the same name.
marty rubin
If you have not by nature a critical mind your staying here is useless.
Gurdjieff
Joe Cool
If you want meaning in life – go and read a book. But even that takes up time, as everything takes up time – even a crap!
Swami Raj
Don’t you worry too much about the dead and dying, as they’ve found a way out of the “locked room scenario” by squeezing through the keyhole.
Jack Thaed
* Truth is straight. Life curves. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
We relish home truths, as long as the home isn't ours.
Reginald Oliver
Many are called, and refuse to go.
marty rubin
Sex is like war. The more effective it is, the more screaming you'll hear.
Sami Douba
When you say, “A woman’s scorn is more deadlier than the male’s…” Well, that’s worth remembering for the future!
The Porcupine Kid & The One-Eyed Batman.
Lethargy…something to poke you with?
Beanbag baby
Because I took the sun for granted it smiled on me.
marty rubin
I will always regard it as a minor tragedy that goodness and whimsy are not survival traits.
Rick Bayan
Joe Cool
Sometimes I am determined; sometimes I just want to sleep.
savanna puckett
Do be bold as brass, because brass sounds bell-like in your shell-like and has a natural resonance with your spirit.
Jojo Juju
I have a little
Nom de plume;
I keep it in
A little cupboard—
In my mind,
Where my ego is the key,
And feed it little pearls
Of wisdom
Through the keyhole;
But never, never should
I ever,
Invite it home for tea!
Seamas Dally
When, after all, everything has been said,
Failure can be so much more interesting
Than success.
Seamas Dally
Nostalgia or reality? Pick your poison.
Lily Voltaire
Oi! Oi! When you’re weakened you will be attacked; when you’re strong you will be opposed; which outcome is preferable?
Archie Pratt
Like all novel ideas without a wide enough base, The Daily Aphorism will inevitably fade away…such is life…what will be will be…the inevitable always occurs inevitably…
John Smith
Perhaps Love is like An ocean full of conflict, full of pain, and if that is i'm a hydophobic, so i wont drown in the sea of love
Emilee O'hara
Utter defeat: nine-tenths more interesting than the average victory.
Archie Pratt
What a pity it is to find out that you're just another customer, wherever you go, whatever you do.
Archie Pratt
Everything is false!
Tilly Vadim
Proverbs: the unwritten laws of how to be and how to see.
Michael Castro
Joe Cool
The sincere handshake—the first weapon of self-defence for any man, but one that had better not be his last.
Drew Byrne
the only thing you can't change is the past, the only thing you can change is the future
joe schmo
I like dogs that bark a little. The silent ones scare me.
marty rubin
Chivalry may be dead, but it's still kind of cute.
Sam Fitzpatrick
* Beware of the man who doesn’t work hard to learn something… Beware of parasites! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Practice kills theories. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Real knowledge is everything we don't know. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Let there be limits to your cleverness, lest you become a fool while you’re at it.
Drew Byrne
I've been watching paint dry for years, now it's time to wallpaper over it.
Richard Slade
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Joe Cool
The whole point, or heart, of the aphorism lies in brevity with generalization, idiosyncrasy amid un-connectedness—so, this isn’t one of "those" then.
Mambo Mickey
Confuscious say: I'm dead! For crying out loud, let me rest in peace and figure it out yourself.
Because face it, one of these days my koans are going to be useless to you and you'll encounter a situation so unique and intense that these little words will seem like a joke. It won't do any good see? It'll just hurt more, see? Like pouring gasoline in a wound. So on that day, don't look to the words of almighty confuscious, because you gotta wing it. It's the only thing you can really do.
Confuscious say: think for yourself.
casey young
Trust someone, and the world will tear you to pieces.
Trust nobody, and your mind will do it for you.
casey young
Truth is like the speed of light. The closer we get, the more work it takes. We'll never quite "get there".
casey young
Truth is like the speed of light. The closer we get, the more work it takes. We'll never quite "get there".
casey young
* The future tricks us with false hopes, the past with false memories. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Where I live,
I have often looked for a wise man to ask him how he can be so wise,
being the pompous ass that he is;
but I can never find him,
except, perhaps,
glimpsed once in a while as I hurry by in the street,
with a beer can clasped in his hand
and drunk as usual,
whispering secret philosophies at the passing crowd
and as happy as a trout in mid pout in mid-stream.
Seamas Dally
What are the odds that we're alive anyway? Or the odds that we'll keep on living? Go look for what will make you happy. Odds are, you'll find it.
street caribou
If you want to talk about something you understand one thing first: As long as you fart you’re cool – it’s the Buddhist way!
Swami Raj
What a man loves is also a hook used to pluck his heart out and dangle it in front of his dying eyes – and it’s best he not forget this.
Anonymus Anonymous
What do people deserve? They not only deserve to watch adverts before the main feature, but they deserve to watch good adverts as well.
Buddy Blank
WARNING! reading too many aphorisms may call your entire way of life into question.
random stumbler
You may do it quietly, You may do it loudly, You may die doing it, You may do it alone, You may need some help doing it, You may scoff at it, You may define yourself by it, You may cry because of it, You may laugh because of it. But everyone has to save themselves sometime during their lives.
Ben Postlethwait
We spend our whole lives searching for things we couldn't hold on to in the past.
Blake Danielson
If you feel no obligation, you have no obligation.
Ken Tanaka
Joe Cool
If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down.
Brynn Best
* Truth is the art of lying sincerely. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Never trust a man that borrows clothes from his/your sister.
DD VV
Be all about whatever it is that you want to be all about.
DD VV
Have doubt all of the time. If you're smart, you'll work to defy yourself.
Kai Gordon
If you’ve no backup you’re all alone, and a man alone is easy prey.
The Porcupine Kid & the One-Eyed Batman
Nobody likes nice people,
You know how they are,
Spiteful, deceitful and mean—
And that’s only their good points.
Seamas Dally
* Numbers never grow old, that’s why they have nothing in common with age. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The higher your expectations, the less will be your satisfaction.
The higher your hesitation, the more you'll be grateful for having done it.
Nicola Principato - La Pu
Life is unkind, unfair, and probably unnecessary.
Robert Cox
What you accept, is what you are.
Buddy Blank
If you believe in nothing––you can believe what you want—you still can’t prove anything!
Swami Raj
It is their feet of clay that makes heroes heroic.
Julian Lloyd
* As you get older you don't do fewer mistakes, but you do get better at justifying them. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The surer you are, the easier it is for life to fool you.
marty rubin
You’ve got to be born smart to be very efficient.
Swami Raj
If you can listen
For the sound of one hand clapping,
You’ll eventually have
A long wait
For eternity to respond
To your auto-response.
Seamas Dally
* It's in our nature to make mistakes, that is why we refuse to accept them. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this—that you are dreadfully like other people.
James Russell Lowell
Joe Cool
Hold kittens, puppies, and babies every chance you get.
Ray D’Shramp
Many people think I was raised by wolves, but the reality is, I'm the wolf that was raised by humans.
Jonathan D. Lim
IT'S IMPORTANT TO LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. SOME MISTAKES I LEARN FROM EVERY TIME I MAKE THEM.
Brian Springfield
Nobody gives a rat's arse what you do so long as you go and do it elsewhere, so why not go and do it? But don't go and do it elsewhere, do it here!
Billy B’stard
Time flies like there’s no tomorrow, fruit flies like a banana—split!
John Smith
First time in the desert…? Which way to Vegas…?
Swami Raj
Arrogance is seldom anything other than veiled insecurity.
Chris Carrassi
Use people, and "love it"!
Charlie Bogart
* Time is a trap. You can't live in the past, the present doesn't exist, and the future isn't certain. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously.
Alain de Botton
Arguing which belief is true is like arguing which phantom is real.
marty rubin
Love people and use things.
Jessie Kujak
People have one thing in common: they are all different.
Robert Zind
Joe Cool
Anything that can be said twice must be twice as relevant to the speaker.
Bradly Peevly
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Bad Religion
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Bad Religion
Insanity is a state of mind where you believe in sanity.
Bad Religion
Aphorism, n. Any thing full of wisdom, brevity and wit that, without any let up, is pungently cloying and clinging which deserves to have a Government health warning on the side.
Bosmae Bracier Jr.
The insidious often comes to you in sheep’s clothing, and gives you a good bleating to.
Archie Pratt
I tried to imagine absolute nothingness. I got absolutely nothing.
Nicoleta Pynn
Nowadays, if you want to spend some money on wasted time ring the speaking clock: she only charges 25p for it, however long it takes you to get your rocks off over it.
Charlie Bogart
Real life looks different in the movies: it looks more realistic.
Archie Pratt
Progress is learning what you can live without.
marty rubin
You cannot save
The World
Until you save
Yourself
Niall Smith
That old-time philosopher fellow who meant, “No harm!” – I understand they chopped his head off for it... And a good thing too – at least it made him see sense!
Damon Daemon
We don't change the weather. The weather changes.
marty rubin
There’s a law against following women around in a raincoat so don’t do it; if you feel the urge put your brolly up instead.
Swami Raj
We need some creative juices!
Paloma Marin
Remember one thing: you’ve got ego – that’s all you’ve got! You had better keep it! The whole world is about self-esteem – self-respect: if you haven’t got that you’ve lost everything. There’s no limit to it. You have something there that’s worth everything – that’s all there is to it!
Swami Raj
Let me let you into a little secret...you’re going to die after losing it all.
Swami Raj
Integrity is easy - lie.
Martin Billings
What makes our opponents so useful is that they allow us to believe that without them we would be able to realize our ideals.
Jean Rostand
Joe Cool
You know you're on the wrong track if you're thinking too much.
marty rubin
fear is a better operative.
Junus Eu
Everyday is a winding road. Some days you skip down it, others days you stumble. And some days you just have to focus on staying on the tarmac and not careering off into a verge.
Jennifer Wood
Ah, you’ve got to expect that, with people, you chuck ’em a banana, and they’ll be quite happy with taking an arm and a leg along with it.
Captain Banana––Man!
What a joy it is to be unreasonable at times, especially when everybody hates you for it!
Billy B'stard
Beware of strong old men; they’ll kill you over it.
Allan Boyce
Whether the glass is half-full or half empty depends entirely on what you see in it: either half a glass of something or other, or a clear opportunity, more or less.
Pat Philips & little me
What you don’t quite comprehend you don’t have to worry about: after all, we can’t all be comprehensible.
Charlie Bogart
Secrets are piles of the mind
Alexander Fraser
I'll tell you the truth; the truth is, that's a lie.
Sayde Lo Turco
Misconstruing the situation is all I understand.
Sayde Lo Turco
Don’t simply assume some stranger you’re talking to is as normal as you are, he may only be just as crazy.
Drew Byrne
The real function of any good moral philosophy nowadays is to propound any preposterous theory in theory, but to believe it tongue-in-cheek in practice.
Caroline Dawnay
The truth behind words: isn't that just more words?
marty rubin
Reality is changeable, illusion is changeable, but both are not the same changeability.
Charlie Bogart
Live the dream if you can, but don’t dream to live.
Archie Pratt
Those little luxuries will never hurt anyone used to less, especially wherever they could be financed properly –– but not too much now!
Jim Flanagan
If it’s brown, flush it down; if it’s yellow, leave it there.
Beulah Benson
I'm entertaining ideas tonight, they're over for cheese and wine
Anon Y. Mous
When in doubt, leap. One needs a little courage to live.
marty rubin
Has Facebook ruined our lives? Probably.
Benjamin Wilkinson
If people take their clothes off outdoors, what are they up to inside?
Toby Amies
If one bite fills you, you don't need two.
marty rubin
We cannot live happily apart from our fellow men nor among them. We perish of boredom in the country and of fury in the city.
Brian Stanley
Happiness is a way station between too little and too much.
Channing Pollock
Joe Cool
Laugh! – it’s your bank account! Everybody else will!
Swami Raj
He, who he, who is nobody, who he? He, definitely not somebody?
Jimmy J. Jackson.
After a while, reading other people’s boring twitter can be just as boring as re-reading one’s own.
Drew Byrne
Maybe, as a man does, a cabbage also thinks long and hard about its future, but, as a man does, thinks cabbagey things always.
Peter Pickle
If you believe in winners and losers you're one of the losers.
marty rubin
The real questions start with a yank on the ring-pull of a beer can, and the meaning of life can be written on the back of a crisp packet.
The Porcupine Kid & the One-Eyed Batman
It’s amazing what one can make up on the spur of the moment what is believed without a moment’s hesitation.
Drew Byrne
Words are the great temptation.
marty rubin
All morticians tend to agree at last that living is entirely too time consuming to last.
Pastichelle Peccadillo
All coroners agree: living is the cause of death.
marty rubin
Step lightly upon a young woman’s wiles, she has claws enough for two.
Billy B’stard
Happiness is a warm gun – but be careful where you point it!
The Porcupine Kid & the One-Eyed Batman
When did you realize that negotiation is all, on the job, on the dole, or on the never-never?
The One-Eyed Batman & The Porcupine Kid.
Never cast pearls before swine, as they will gobble them up and eat them and you will be in for a long wait.
The Porcupine Kid & the One-Eyed Batman
There is such a thing as a “stupid” wise man, although he could not possibly be so all the time.
Drew Byrne
If we can become initiates in another peoples’ secrets, we can become one of them!
Billy B’stard
They say…power corrupts, and the power of a Porsche corrupts surreptitiously.
Toby Amies
Without sayings there can be no doings, without doings there can be no sayings.
The Silent One!
To be is to do, to do is to be: do be do be do!
Thee Sages of the Uttermost West
The real truths are those any child can understand.
marty rubin
Try me. I'm always in the mood for something else.
marty rubin
What you hate you can influence, but not as much as it has influenced you.
Drew Byrne
I may be able to bend the substance of the universe to my will, but caravans get in my way.
Toby Amies
Grab things, but not all the time.
Peter Pickle
So much to do, so little reason to care!
Payne Ex Machina
Let us not let how others love define how we love. Yet instead lets,let how we love redefine how others love.
Payne Ex Machina
A fairly smart man will look back at his life, and will remember the good times fondly, while ignoring the bad. A truly wise man will look back and realized that he has learned to love them both.
Payne Ex Machina
Cure? Hell I thought AIDS was the cure!
Payne Ex Machina
To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle.
George Orwell
Joe Cool
Everything’s copasetic until everything goes pear-shaped, then it isn’t anymore as it’s all gone asymmetrical instead.
Andrew Acton
An aphorism without a question at its heart can always be questioned.
Drew Byrne
So much to do, so little time to do it!
Joseph Harries
is it possible to make an aphorism, about an aphorism?
Fiona Dean
Nothing makes a man act so strangely than to think himself immortal, in fact he could end up attempting the impossible just for the sake of the inadmissible.
Andrew Acton
Nobody wants the sun to retire just because it's old.
marty rubin
By implication, for a man to have been diddled out of a can of beer in the night means you have been diddled as well, as it diminishes the concept of manhood.
Swami Raj
What can be said to someone who is lost except, "Go and find yourself, mate"?
Allan Isherwood
The main difficulty in pursuing a normal life is in choosing whether to be an enabler or a naysayer, by which choice you’ll either known as a fool or an idiot.
Drew Byrne
A blind man sees with his cane, like all the rest of us.
marty rubin
Never be blasé over time, as the little horny devil that it is will always have the last laugh.
Damon Daemon
They say pen's mightier than the sword,
But I think that's a joke.
I killed him with the steak knife
where a pen would only poke.
Donna Gowland
If you’re “strange” most people will think you’re “bent”; which is a “queer” way of looking at things that go “hump” in the night.
Graham Norton
To be childish suggests you have missed the point – boy! To say nothing of missing the counter point – boy!
Joe Cool
Optimist – "Opti" meaning "eye", and "mist" meaning "fogged up", you understand.
Anony Mous
A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right.
Thomas Paine
Joe Cool
We no longer know what we feel when we can say what we feel.
marty rubin
Keep your mouth shut for long enough and you'll eat yourself up
Bryony Fraser
Gnomologist: a man with a slight twitch who dresses in a raincoat on sunny days who also likes to examine short, pithy sentences with a large magnifying glass, preferably in a darkened room and generally for the gratification of his own secret pleasures.
Bosmae Bracier Jr.
Man is a magnificent creature: one splendid in ashes and pompous in the dust.
Masked Aphorist
What has the move toward gender equality achieved? My cowardly unwillingness to open doors on behalf of strangers.
Benjamin Wilkinson
You can’t expect a change of scenery if you never veer from the beaten track.
James Geary
At least those with closed minds never have to worry about their brains gathering dust.
Mike Ashton
When a dog is drowning, everyone offers him a drink.
Toby Philpots
Between actions and consequences, there is always Blu-Tack!
Bobby Builder
It takes twelve drunken chimpanzees banging away at twelve typewriters an eternity to produce an exact copy of the complete works of Shakespeare, but it only takes one single illiterate human being with a hangover to spell a basic English noun incorrectly on a Sunday morning...
Joe Cool
The more you stir, the worse it will stink.
Toby Philpots
The charm of the aphorism is the room it makes for inconsistency.
marty rubin
If you can forget the aphorism you learnt by heart this morning by the afteerenoon, you probably already know too much about it anyway.
Drew Byrne
Some phrases are milestones, markers along the road.
marty rubin
A failure always has somebody to blame for his failures, and he always manages to blame somebody else.
Drew Byrne
The fundamental strength of a woman’s character is that she has a man at hand to laugh at, if not with.
Jessica Bumpus
Joe Cool
To make a quick dash, just press-0–0-0-00—0--0—00-0–0 swiftly, Rythemically, repeatedly, with your two forefingers—and a dash will somehow miraculously appear; as it’s much easier that way…after all is said and done.
Robby the Robot
I will not fake myself through life.
Bart Simpson
Joe Cool
How is failure possible? We're always just beginning to live.
marty rubin
All these people at international airports must really think they’re going somewhere – and they are.
The One-Eyed Batman & The Porcupine
If you listen to that little devil on your shoulder for too long, sooner or later he’ll just piss in your ear.
Damon Daemon
20 STRONG, SURE-FOOTED OFFSRPING OF SHADOWFAX
COULD NOT HAVE PULLED ME AWAY FROM THE EMPTY SOUL
I WAS LEFT WITH AFTER JUST NODDING AND GOING ALONG WITH
WHATEVER THEY SAID.
E Muzko
The only thing a man has is his balls and his honour; and it’s what he does with them that make them bounce!
Anonymus Anonymous
If only to improve one’s point of view aphorisms are quite nice to do occasionally, but anyone who goes at it all the time is probably quite barmy...
Drew Byrne
Who amongst us dares to un-mask the Masked Aphorist? Especially the one who dwells so furtively in one’s own heart?
Masked Aphorist
This life is full of bullshit, and it just piles up over time.
Swami Raj
Still waters run deep, if thickos never paddle in it.
Swami Raj
Just running down, boys and girls, just running down...to Elysium.
Old Nob of the Mountain
Da death dat goes da bong da gong, is da death dat goes da bong youz!
Bob Jamaika
An expert is someone who will make the same mistake the next time.
marty rubin
Only the especially qualified can put things back together; recreate the mystery.
Ben Wilkinson
All warfare is based on deception.
Sun Tzu
Joe Cool
Life: what a marvellous absurdity.
Daniel Desbiens,(1954- )
Nathalie Tremblay
A temporary double death in front of the mirror: You close your eyes, and both of you vanish.
Firimita Florin
The pessimists are right. But it does them no good to be right.
marty rubin
Optimism: belief that everything will work out well. Irrational, bordering on insane.
K9
Joe Cool
Avoid thinking of yourself as ordinary; despite being almost certainly true it’s almost always certainly a mistake.
Drew Byrne
Sad songs are such a joy to sing.
marty rubin
If your dick starts hurting...then you’ve probably had enough.
Swami Raj
An atheist would be quite unhappy to wake up in Heaven after a quick nap, but luckily that isn’t going to happen too often, unless they change the door policy.
Damon Daemon
There are more loonies outside the asylums than in, but they all think they’re normal.
Bill Smith
Ah, stupidity gets you done—the easy way––as it’s not that difficult a task.
Bill Smith
Man is everything I hate about Man.
Stephanie Gordon
You shouldn’t listen to the little devil on your shoulder who says it’s too late to do anything worthwhile anymore, even though the little bastard might be right.
Drew Byrne
The best revenge is a happy life.
Rosen Zhelev
You’re walking, talking, feeling fine; given health, there’s nothing better than money.
Swami Raj
You’ve got to understand men, they’re like the wind: a force of Nature!
Swami Raj
A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.
Gian Vincenzo Gravina
Scotchmen are well-balanced individuals – they’ve got chips on both shoulders.
English Ted
Altruist: a person who likes to help people more than they like to be helped.
marty rubin
GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME.
carmen rüter
A stitch in time saves needless procedures later.
jimmy mc allister
A stitch in times saves needless procedures later.
jimmy mc allister
You'll get nowhere fast just standing there.
jimmy mc allister
I got rid of my juggler: I couldn't afford the upkeep.
jimmy mc allister
Verbal onanism is a quick one aphorist.
jimmy mc allister
That is the question?
jimmy mc allister
It is easier to pass a needle through the eye of a rich man than to stay on a camel.
jimmy mc allister
It is easier to pass a needle through the eye of a rich man that to stay on a camel.
jimmy mc allister
He who lasts longest laughs last.
jimmy mc allister
If you clap your hands you're happy and you know it.
jimmy mc allister
Too many cooks spoil the telly.
jimmy mc allister
A turd in the hand is worse threw in the bush.
jimmy mc allister
Plastic surgery leaves a lot to be desired.
jimmy mc allister
On your deathbed you shall receive total enlightenment.
Jack Thade
Anyone can fly, all you have to do is throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Johan Jeansson
If the plumbing were that bad in Heaven, there’d have been a revolution there by now!
Damon Daemon
Taking or giving; it all goes around anyway.
Johan Jeansson
A man's "got" to know his laminations!
Bobby Builder
A man's GOT to know his limitatins.
Swami Raj
Strength is being able to put the boot in, because you can.
Bill Smith
Humour: that curiously inbuilt response which enables you to avoid hitting your neighbour with a crow bar.
Bill Smith
Death always has the last word, and that word is: “Pickle!”
Jack Thade
Death is the ugliest of all dancers, nevertheless she always gets the last dance.
LAURENT APICELLA
We waste this life dreaming of another.
marty rubin
With either respect or a lack of respect, it’s still a matter of respecting boundaries.
Masked Aphorist
Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without you consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt.
Joe Cool
Don't look too far ahead or you'll miss a lot.
marty rubin
To survive the tests is the best way to prove oneself.
Daniel Desbiens
Don’t walk with your head down; you don’t have to apologise for being a human being.
Swami Raj
People just carry on – I just don’t understand it!
Swami Raj
Money and luck run fastest together, but when the money runs out the luck went off first.
Swami Raj
Words are the best bargain. You get them for free, and they never run out.
marty rubin
In his heady desire to be optimistic rather than pessimistic an optimist forgets one thing: if a pessimist could be as optimistic as an optimist likes to be, he would be – gladly.
Max Ploughman
If you’re ambitious you want to get there – that’s the whole point!
Swami Raj
If you’re strong you may survive. One good thing is to keep on trying.
Swami Raj
If life has no meaning, it's not necessary to invent one.
marty rubin
Our little life is monkey-magic in a monkey-puzzle tree.
Drew Byrne
What you choose, is what you are!
Max Ploughman
Determination: something with bells on that you pull to make it jingle for you.
Max Ploughman
Comedy is being able to laugh at tragedy.
Conte De Quelquechose
After wisdom comes wit.
Evan Esar
Wise, are you?
Wise, you are?
Oh, no,
You’re not!
Ol’ Bill Moody
I am so wise,
So wise,
So, so wise;
I am,
Yes, I am:
So, so wise;
Oh,
Yes, I am!
The Wise Man
The wise know that the polestar of prudence lies in adapting themselves to the occasion.
Gracián
Joe Cool
Time spent explaining things is better spent enjoying them.
marty rubin
If it all goes awry – pull yourself together!
Swami Raj
The first thing you must comprehend here is a smack in the chops!
Swami Raj
…and we will never know why they put so much sauce in them…
Swami Raj
Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of travelling.
Margaret Lee Runbeck
* Nothing makes us hate the wisdom of others more than our lack of it. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
What’s the last thing you were mindful of? Now, try and remember what it was twelve minutes from…“now!”
Mr. Tempus Fugit
Look for your wisdom where you can find it; after all, it can’t be found anywhere else any more obvious.
Buddy Blank
Optimists think badly, but live well.
marty rubin
An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it.
Anonymus Anonymous
An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?
Michel de Saint-Pierre
if you're looking for a helping hand, try looking on the end of your arm.
Anonymus Anonymous
A man needs a god to criticise occasionally.
Drew Byrne
Prudence, forethought, and consideration; three wise words found lying on the path to the Magic Mountain.
Jonny Chuckles
Eschew Obfuscation! Espouse Elucidation!
The Big Easy
Is it possible that a man who drinks until he’s drunk, drinks because he likes himself better sober? We may never know, because he’ll more than likely forget all about it in the morning!
Jojo Juju
No, you are not important – that’s the first game rule!
Swami Raj
If you’ve got something to offer – keep your mouth shut!
Swami Raj
One does what one can, not what one can’t.
Abigail Mitchell
* Brevity may be the soul of wit, but it can also be a mercy. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Today when the pot calls the kettle black, it's meant as a compliment.
marty rubin
Brevity is power.
Josh Billings
Wherever it’s from, money never stinks; but whatever it does, it still takes the piss!
Anonymus Anonymous
Sudden death leaves an impression on you.
Anonymus Anonymous
Luck is a very ancient concept, might even be Greek – check it out!
Swami Raj
Sarcasm is less the lowest form of wit and more a testament to the colossal effort of maintaining constant pessimism.
Ben Wilkinson
The most useful instance of prejudice is one not only backed up by facts, but with belief as well.
Damon Daemon
As if people didn’t stab each other in the back because they didn’t enjoy it!
Damon Daemon
There are those who theorize, and those who act – two different people!
Swami Raj
With some people you can only lose, they’re not worth getting what they have.
Swami Raj
With most people the truth is that they have no romance with life, if you have that you’ll be alright.
Swami Raj
Specialize, prioritise, economise: three mighty bridges over the great gulph of adversity.
Jonny Chuckles
An educated fool is more foolish than an ignorant one...
Molière
Joe Cool
What you don’t need you certainly won’t miss when you don’t notice you don’t have it.
Drew Byrne
The less is more, more or less.
Drew Byrne
Between thoughts, travel far and wide.
marty rubin
Putting your boots in the oven doesn't make them biscuits.
David Houghton
Minger: Nice personality but ’as a face like a rotweiller’s arse.
Ali G
Cheeky little lady: A woman who looks like they’ve just been boned.
Ali G
Honesty is for the "birds", as in "nerds!"
Damon Daemon
Never put off doing till tomorrow what you can put off doing today.
Anonymus Anonymous
If you don’t know quite what to do with something, you’d better try to sell it.
Swami Raj
You’re already in jeopardy – if only because you have no bickies for the cup!
Swami Raj
To me, this is this and that’s that and that’s it!
Swami Raj
* Don't assume all bread will make a sandwich. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Dogs bark, but the caravan goes on...
Leonid Sukhorukov
Here’s to all the thickies in the world, it makes life so much more amusing for those sharp enough to make them jump through hoops over it.
Damon Daemon
Oh, pointy, pointy!
Oh, pointy pointed point!
Oh, point!
Oh, pointy-pointy!
Oh, pointy, pointy point!
Oh, point!
Steve Martin
The problem with anonymousity is that it can be looked up on Google, just for the price of a left-click.
Anonymus Anonymous
As a purely temporary physical and mental phenomenon, a man doesn’t even get to run fast enough to catch up with the meaning of his sense of his own purpose...
Buddy Blank
Don't lick bell-end!
Anonymus Anonymous
* Our character is like the captain who is the last to abandon his sinking ship. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* When there is no other way out, we look for another entrance. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Everything is necessarily a form of plagiarism. This is how we justify every project we begin.
Adam Piette
If you’re on the way out, don’t shit on those on the way in.
Jojo Juju
Give a beggar a pound coin and he’ll probably go and buy a can of lager; give a billionaire that same coin and he’s an even bigger beggar, because he’ll probably go and invest it too.
Swami Raj
You have to expect that from people they have no interest in anything except themselves. Of course, if you are useful in some way that can be of interest...
Swami Raj
LESBIANS RULE THE ROOST – OK! AND SOMETIMES THEY DO IT WITH THE RULER!
Millicent Fortesque-Smythe
Better bend for a friend than break like a reed.
Graham Norton
Ignorance of one's ignorance is the greatest ignorance.
Anonymus Anonymous
Today is always the beginning of that "new romantic age": the one that young people look around so hard for.
Jojo Juju
If death is all you're worried about, I'd say you're in the best of health.
marty rubin
If you go looking for enemies then you will find them — the fucking bastards!
Anonymus Anonymous
It’s simple: Insult shall produce ball-kicks, and then that will produce calmness and contentment.
Swami Raj
Figure it all out then reject it, just like the next man. For time will always pass you by.
Swami Raj
You win! – All else is loss! Now that’s direction isn’t it?
Swami Raj
Time is precious, because time is finite.
Swami Raj
Before you speak your mind make sure it's really your mind you're speaking.
marty rubin
The Universe can be a curious place sometimes, occasionally even the Milky Way just reminds me of puke going down a shower’s plughole, especially after a night out with the girls without a meaningful place to go at the weekend.
Sophie Howarth
Life is like a boil on the backside of a brontosaurus, but only the brontosaurus cannot see that.
Monty Don
I think, therefore, I thunk!
Anonymus Anonymous
Anything good or bad lies in your eyes.
Anonymus Anonymous
You may live your life as freely as you like it, but sooner or later you’ll be caught at it.
Drew Byrne
How many truths are really true?
marty rubin
Worldly wisdom: something dirty and demeaning that is always best found hidden away amid the entrails of ignorance and distaste.
Drew Byrne
People come, and people go; which is something you should know.
Anonymus Anonymous
If you are being a “son of a gun”, watch it, it might go off!
Swami Raj
The sharply defined lesson that goes unlearnt by its intended recipient, due to his natural naivety, is also that one aimed at the person who doesn’t see its meaning is directed solely at him, apparently for his own good.
Buddy Blank
* All roads lead to Rome, but some roads to peace lead straight to Pompeii. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
An optimist is a pessimist with experience.
Judy Meath
The sad act of scratching dead philosophy on the wall behind a whorehouse, is always the result of finding out too late that ex-coitus makes you sad!
Monty Don
All things end in unending time.
(Graffito scratched on a wall in Pompeii.)
Anonymus Anonymous
Some clever-clever aphoristic fellows who consider themselves worldly-wise are clearly just being “hoity-toity”, and they know they like it like that too.
Monty Don
You want something axiomatic? Everything you think you know is wrong.
Ben Wilkinson
Tell the truth. It's more disturbing than telling lies.
marty rubin
No matter how wise you may think you are, you can always be as foolish as anyone else can be.
Drew Byrne
Man! this sure is a big pile of aphorisms...and to cap it all, the pointed one just below this has apparently miraculously appeared as the penultimate pinnacle of popularity—just like that!
Monty Don
What we were, you are. What we are, you shall become.
(Tomb inscription, St. Victor, Paris.)
Jack Thade
The companionship of acquaintance is not friendship, as if it was we’d all be somewhat friendlier to strangers without much reason.
Challenged Changeling
* Don't kill the beast in yourself; it may be the only human thing you have left. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
It appears that...Dingbat Alley runs right next to the stately home of Home-Truths.
Monty Don
If you do have any new home truths to impart to the world, you can never be all that original about it.
Drew Byrne
WELCOME TO THE MONKEY-HOUSE!
Oh, Kurt!
Every bird needs her feathered nest.
Anonymus Anonymous
English-chicks love quiet guys, they think they’re listening—cool!
Anonymus Anonymous
No man's success outweighs the sum of his failures.
the judge
The people who enlighten us are the ones who tell us their secrets.
marty rubin
The prick in a box is cooler than any dick in a box.
Monty Don
A man is what he is prepared to do, or he is nothing; however, he can still be a dingbat, despite that.
Drew Byrne
* If you go to bed angry - change the bed. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The Mundane is to be cherished so that the exemplary can be praised
Tim Kent
Whats cooler than a dick in a box.
Amber Radke
A father is a banker provided by nature.
Anonymus Anonymous
Being "ballsy" with the truth is never enough of the whole truth.
Ms. Holly Golightly
I've never seen two negatives make a positive yet.
marty rubin
The benefits of suffering are mostly hypothetical.
marty rubin
What you learn about too late to do anything about is always a memorable academic achievement.
Monty Don
Better to counsel realism than foster illusion.
Michael Schmidt.
All generalizations are too general to be specific in detail, excluding this one.
General Bullseye
There are two types of people who sit at the breakfast table: big-endians, and little-endians; you’ve just got to decide which one you want to be.
Masked Aphorist
A wink and a smile does wonders for the sailor on the sea.
Anonymus Anonymous
If you make waves in the desert you will drown in sand.
Anonymus Anonymous
Trust only those who you can trust and don’t make the mistake of trusting those who you cannot trust but look jolly friendly...
Drew Byrne
Sith si esnesnon: gnithyreve si esnesnon: neve I ma esnesnon!
Yzarc Tibbar
Please Note. None of the merchandise on sale here has been produced or endorsed by Banksy (with the exception of this sign).
Fred Arkright
Be careful of how you like to fit in, jug ears!
Polly Perspicacity
Who’s dead today? Not Me! Good!
Jojo Juju
I'm real sorry about this but...ART IS FOR ARSEHOLES!
Drew Byrne
The word "Nothing" is already something.
marty rubin
Real problems always have a solution. The problems that have no solution are those the mind invents.
marty rubin
Never spout the obvious; it’s too precious a commodity to be let loose on the world for nothing.
Drew Byrne
Some people can manage to stay up all night, just so as to avoid going to bed before it gets too dark in the morning.
Jojo Juju
Smart people recognize that there are absolute truths. Wise people recognize that there aren't.
Robert Hoekman, Jr.
Never talk to creeps, lest they find out why they’re creeps.
Swami Raj
This then above all else is true: No matter what weird and wonderful wacky ideas you might hold onto to get you through the day and whatever you do with them, you leave the world exactly as it was when you got here.
Buddy Blank
satisfaction truly comes not in accomplishment, but in beginning a new challenge.
tim hinson
Failing in persistence and endeavour not only gives you the chance of being overlooked for your efforts, but also of being ignored by the successful as well.
Buddy Blank
We're the slaves of our bodies. We don't have to be the slaves of our minds.
marty rubin
People pray for good fortune, not arthritis. But they get arthritis anyway.
marty rubin
Man is the most easily conditioned of all.
Said Saillant
Only those who try to understand life live.
Said Saillant
Reality shapes the mind and the mind shape reality.
Said Saillant
Life has no meaning but that which we give it ourselves.
Said Saillant
You cannot escape your perceptions; you can only extend their reach.
Said Saillant
Talk is jabber, talk is cheap; let’s go do it on the Pieste!
Bonksy Banksy
I'm in training to be the slowest runner in the race.
marty rubin
Laugh, and the world laughs back; don't laugh, and it'll kick your teeth in.
Buddy Blank
Crafty men deal in generalizations...
Anonymus Anonymous
It's a good life, if you don't weaken.
Violet Rosina
Red means run son, numbers add up to nothing.
Swami Raj
Neighbours are people we cannot afford to live further away from.
Sam Pickering
Human contentment, if not true in reality, is a useful contrivance for a bald-faced monkey!
Anonymus Anonymous
When you see a pratt in a Ferrari, you’ll be glad you’re not a pratt.
Monty Don
Some things will change, but this will never change. A little girl on her porch, playing with her dolls and singing.
marty rubin
Some fellows mistake wit for wisdom because they can laugh at it; or at least some fools do.
Monty Don
The thoughts we choose to act upon define us to others, the ones we do not define us to ourselves.
Yahia Lababidi
The beauty of nothing is that it continues.
Anonymus Anonymous
* Go mad wisely. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When you don't decide, life decides for you.
marty rubin
The future cannot be seen even with the most powerful telescope.
marty rubin
We are disillusioned by illusion, not by reality.
marty rubin
THIS WEB PAGE IS NOW CLOSED TO NEW SUBMISSIONS. PLEASE RESUBMIT YOUR APHORISMS IN NOVEMBER 2009, WHEN THE COMPETITION WILL BEGIN AGAIN.
WEB MASTER
Stupidity occurs naturally enough until you step on it––then it gets everywhere.
Monty Don
Don’t admire too many people too often for too long, you forget their names.
Monty Don
So many words, so little to say.
marty rubin
* Of all people eager to stay on top, he who stands on the edge of a precipice desires it most. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
There are only two directions in life: up or down!
Swami Raj
A touch of insanity now and then makes us all giggle for the occasion.
Joe Cool
The flabby wine-skin of his brain yields to some pathologic strain, and voids from its unstored abysm the driblet of an aphorism.
The Mad Philosopher
All experience is now concrete.
Anatole Broyard.
The Grim Reaper’s got your name in his Fileofax!
Ruth Graves
BILL STICKERS WILL BE PROSECUTED!
The Management
Better to sit alone all day in a dark room than go out and try to change people.
marty rubin
If you push, you will live; that is life, and the cost of life also.
Anonymus Anonymous.
A man is full of hopes, dreams, wishes, and expectations—fuck him!
Millicent Fortesque-Smythe
A long silence never means what it says.
marty rubin
I Try to Take One Day at a Time, but Sometimes Several Days Attack Me at Once.
Ashleigh Brilliant
I am a funky-robot looking for meaning!
Robby the Robot
Life’s mostly full of shit, but thankfully we have beer and skittles to help with the resultant constipation.
Monty Don
No protection for the back four, no protection on the bedroom floor.
Yogi Perks
Don’t feed the monkeys: they like soul-food best.
Monty Don
Nothing is easier than to keep a secret: all you need to do is to shut your mouth.
Anonymus Anonymous
What a pity it is only a fear of failure that most keeps us from failing...
Monty Don
Is it safe? Of course it is!
Ginly B'stard
No matter how depressed you are you still have the power to depress yourself further.
Zoe Wanamaker
No one thinks of the obvious so the obvious is the unknown.
marty rubin
Someone has to pay for a man to support himself, and it always ends up as the man who does it.
Monty Don
Don’t forget, if you need any help, call the fire brigade; they’ll cool you off.
Monty Don
You can save yourself, but words can't save you.
marty rubin
Morris Dancing: common sense in a crazy world!
Swami Raj
There’re different strokes for different folks!
Swami Raj
I have a bad memory. Every day seems new to me.
marty rubin
You are not yourself!
Barbara Kruger
Beware of the next moment: you could remember it for the rest of your life!
Monty Don
There are no angels but there are a myriad of insects blown in the wind.
Thee Weatherman
Well, when I talk sense, at least I know it's nonsense!
Monty Don
* Every age has its cage. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The fucker you know is worse than the fucker you don’t know…
Swami Raj
The opinionated man who's newly come to the throne says, “Well, if it’s good enough for The Queen…”
Monty Don
Insomniacs exaggerate the pleasures of sleep.
marty rubin
If you marry for love and not for money, you'll have warm nights and cold days.
Swami Raj
Look, I don't expect to die, I expect to live!
Swami Raj
If you keep on turning right at the cross roads of life, you’ll eventually return from whence you came over and over again...ad infinitum and beyond!
Drew Kalm Jr.
We think in a maze and only our actions can set us free.
marty rubin
With people, what you see is what you get: dilettante, superficial. There’s not much more to them.
Swami Raj
* A loose tongue is the easiest way to tie yourself in knots. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Happiness is pleasure without guilt. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Openness is closeted from a darker corner.
Swami Raj
It’s useful to have an opinion, so you can slip it in when nobody’s looking.
Swami Raj
Why doesn't the Frankenstein Monster ever smile on Monday mornings? We may never know!
Frank E. Steinitz
Reality is always easier to face with a little illusion by your side.
marty rubin
Doing is believing.
Monty Don
New life started today…very much like old one, but more of it.
Polly Perspicacity.
Not until the red light stops will they ever let you go...
Swami Raj
Somehow inject meaning where the message had previously been.
Barbara Kruger
The impractical is the unreal until somebody makes it practical.
marty rubin
There is a subtle skill in knowing when to be inept.
marty rubin
By Gimminy! What a load of questionable questions there are that have no reasonably discernable answers…
Masked Aphorist
Dogs that can’t wag their tails get bit, and that’s really not fair, but what is?
Drew Byrne
What does this term well adjusted mean? Does it mean weasels at the top?
Drew Byrne
Why do nothing worthwhile if you can do what you have to do instead?
Drew Byrne
We are all suffering Bipolar Disorder between these two acts: We think/do things good and bad.
Ore Hendive
The worm’s eye view – so often the true one!
Swami Raj
I understand self-reliance: it’s pushy-pushy-pushy all the time – with jam on top!
Swami Raj
Happiness — that state of tabescent bliss unobtainable unless you don’t quite know what it is.
Rick Bayan
What drives you? Is it a Mini or a Thunderbird?
Masked Aphorist
How many changes must take place before we can be satisfied with things as they are?
marty rubin
Sitting in the middle you have to turn your head to sit and read.
Barbara Kruger
Where quietude has gone, there is only noise...
Frank Thunk
Real life is: Input! Input!
Swami Raj
Speak no new truth too loudly and fear the faulty memory of old friends.
John Doe
Don’t always graffito on the wall; but also do it on the piste!
Bonksy Banksy
I aint such a mug as to put up my children to all I know myself.
Alfred Doolittle
Nothink for nothink ’ere, and precious little for sixpence!
Alfred Doolittle
Your philosophy is bounded by mistakes...
Masked Aphorist
Strength and honour!
Maximus Duracellust
The mind cannot foresee its own advance.
Friedrich Hayek
When you know everything, it still doesn’t change anything.
Swami Raj
Contestants are for beauty contests; players just keep on going.
Swami Raj
Between greatness and cheesecake I"ll take cheesecake.
marty rubin
All the wisdom of the world is in your nut: don’t crack it open.
Masked Aphorist
Break the code: just do it!
Diddle Wanger
Being you...is not being me!
Masked Aphorist
* Why is it easier to fire a person who does the work of ten than those ten whose work he does? Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
’Tis – was! And nobody was your friend...
Swami Raj
If you are compressed – push out! No one lives in a box.
Swami Raj
When bits drop off of their own accord, stick them back on with superglue!
Eric Bentley
WHAT GOOD IS A LIE IF YOU CAN’T TELL THE TRUTH SOMETIME?
Jesse Jane Ramirez Jr.
Should I refuse the honey because the bee stings?
marty rubin
Life is a game you lose but once.
Demian LaVigne
Cobblers proliferates profusely, until it’s stepped on––pronto!
Monty Don
An idle thought is caught in amber, until it’s burnt as fuel.
Drew Byrne
an Aphorism is a statement, here's mine..
WA ZA
We don't need to spread the wealth, we need to spread the bread and butter!
Troy Yap
The best thing to do is to be able to do it yourself.
Bobby Builder
Much modern art prompts the question: Is it Art?
Alan Collett
It takes more to write a good aphorism than a dash of witty repartee and a crease in the trousers...those are tall words, better stop and think a minute!
Monty Don
If you take what you want then you want what you get...I think nobody can argue with that.
Swami Raj
It takes more than big letters and a big ego to make a great aphorist…
Monty Don
One should not put down, one should cut down!
Swami Raj
Aphorism: a cat chasing a squirrel along a telephone wire.
marty rubin
Aphorism: what is worth quoting from the soul’s dialogue with itself.
Yahia Lababidi
Nobody reads these aphorisms, because nobody deserves to know the truth.
Masked Aphorist
Do not say nothing here! Say something meaningless instead!
Masked Aphorist
Beware of puny two-legged creatures claiming to be made in the image of God.
marty rubin
Superficially, an aphorist is a bit like a philatelist, only he’ll never admit it.
Anonymus Anonymous
* Criticism does not require as much evidence as praise. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Spectacles remind us that our sight hangs on our ears. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Keep banging away at it man, you'll get somewhere delightful!
Masked Aphorist
All you have is existence––that’s all there is to it.
Swami Raj
If you’re weak you attract people who think that’s sweet.
Masked Aphorist
* To lay golden eggs, peck on the grains of truth. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When I lose something I was afraid to lose I find I don't miss it.
marty rubin
All the world loves a laughing looser, but why do it if you can win?
Swami Raj
Understanding people’s indifference to one’s wishes, underscores one’s understanding of one’s self.
Masked Aphorist
To be strong implies a knowledge of what weakness will do to your hollyhocks.
Masked Aphorist
Give me peaceful, uneventful days, days that are easy to forget.
marty rubin
You can turn a joy into a torture just by making it so.
Swami Raj
In the fight for survival, a tie or split decision simply will not do.
Masked Aphorist.
I don't want to know where the squirrel stashes its nuts.
marty rubin
Before you say something stupid—shut your mouth, stupid!
Masked Aphorist
If you don’t stand up for yourself, you may only sit where you’re told.
Drew Byrne
trees don't complain about anything, and they can live forever
Tori Rowland
Nobody reads these aphorisms...not even: I!
Masked Aphorist
May it go on forever: this day. Life.
marty rubin
If you want something, ask for it.
Masked Aphorist.
The world is full of people who do something; they aren’t daft, so they must be normal.
Swami Raj
This World Could Wither The Soul Of A Saint.....Fortunately I'm Not One.
Ahmed " Asko" Askalany
to succeed we all need to triple our failure rate
Grahame Broadbelt
I’d hesitate to hit a woman with a hat on, but when she decides to take the gloves off that could be a different matter.
Zob! The Destroyer!
Mind what you have learned. Save you it can.
Master Yoda
Change is always trivial compared to what doesn't change.
marty rubin
The past is the only thing you have to dwell on in this world.
Swami Raj
You strain to understand the point, or you might miss the boat.
Zob! The Destroyer!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU ARE HERE.
Elyse Parks
Don't waste words, jump to conclusions.
Borrowdale Hermit
Right questions are probably problems...what you are looking for is answers...they are questions in another guise really.
Swami Raj
I tell you: it's a dog's life, any way you look at it!
Alfred Doolittle
A lot of money makes you feel prudent-like; and then it's goodbye to happiness.
Alfred Doolittle
Scratch backs; for whomsoever scratches backs gets his, or her, back scratched back.
Drew Byrne
Is knowing that you know nothing the same as knowing something?
marty rubin
There is music you never hear unless you play it yourself.
marty rubin
If one truely has lost hope, one would not be on hand to say so.
Eric Bentley
Nothin’ for a dollar ‘ere, and precious little for a monkey!
Albert Doolittle.
If you feel sad, just feel your heart beat.
Swami Raj
A man has to know when to burp; if he can't burp, well, he's not full yet.
Alfred Doolittle
Never trust a man who owns hair straighteners.
Emily Mcgeevor
My other aphorism is full of ennui.
Zob! The Destroyer!
The more idealism proves futile, the more I respect idealists.
marty rubin
Knowing how to sing and being able to sing is still not singing.
marty rubin
Most wise men won't tell you what you need to know because
they haven't got a clue about you anyway.
Swami Raj
Your capacity to improve your life is bounded by your incapacity to do so.
Drew Byrne
Dreams change the world-but only in dreams.
marty rubin
Wanting to do something for yourself is a greater force for change than wanting to do anything for anybody else.
Drew Byrne
Everything changes, but everything stays the same.
Drew Byrne
One day your life
will stop ringing.
Answer it.
Eric Nelson
* Human wit is only an image of universal sense. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Others chase their dreams. I dawdle behind.
marty rubin
Never express yourself more clearly than you can think.
Niels Bohr
Spend yourself; there's plenty more.
marty rubin
The constellations don't need to be rearranged.
marty rubin
If it rains tonight, rain will be the cause.
marty rubin
Failure comes only after death.
Ore Hendive
Good humor is the sun on cloudy days.
marty rubin
What is fog on the surface is also fog deep inside.
marty rubin
Tears are reflections of your soul!
Ore Hendive
Tears are replections of your soul!
Ore Hendive
"Dreams may have or no have path. Failure comes only after death."
Ore Hendive
Pie is good. Homework is not pie.
~James Patterson
~ flarglepuf
Birds are always shitting on my car but I don't take it personally.
marty rubin
How high do you have to jump to get over yourself?
marty rubin
Sometimes out of sheer perversity reality conforms to my wishes.
marty rubin
But me no buts, just butt your butt into the butts and butt off!
Drew Byrne
To seek amity amongst the controversial is a dangerous thing to do for the one-eyed bat-man!
Zob! The Destroyer!
* In politics, one man’s failure is another man’s fault. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
I am not a robot
Tori Rowland
Life's an old story. We all know how it ends.
marty rubin
I loved the sun, people, happiness-I never understood them.
marty rubin
A strange delusion: I never feel I'm missing out on anything.
marty rubin
* One man’s pain is another man’s painkiller. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Life may be nothing but a series of detours.
marty rubin
It's not worth staying up all night just to paint masterpieces.
marty rubin
The wages of sin is a little more freedom.
marty rubin
Nothing succeeds like indifference to success.
marty rubin
Even life isn't worth dying for.
marty rubin
I watch the sparrows flying from tree to tree. Not a single one doubts its freedom.
marty rubin
Even when you dial the wrong number there's someone on the other side.
marty rubin
A chain grows weaker with each new link it adds.
marty rubin
I'm not only lazy myself, but I inspire laziness in others.
marty rubin
What is is plenty, but more is never enough.
marty rubin
One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it's worth watching.
Rachel Diaz Diaz
The landscape looks different from every blade of grass.
marty rubin
Dear friends-Tori Rowland and Tilly Vadim:
There is no such thing as too much freedom or happiness.
marty rubin
* Light travels faster than sound, but sound is still louder. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Silence adds sparkle to many a speech. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
marty rubin writes too much also
Tori Rowland
Leonid Sukhorukov writes to much
Tilly Vadim
everything is false
Tilly Vadim
What if God really exists? That'd be the funniest joke of all.
marty rubin
Putting the poor and homeless in jail should be opposed on the grounds that it is cruel and usual punishment.
marty rubin
The amusement park was our best invention; the museum, the worst.
marty rubin
* Why does the ruler of the Earth have to live in Heaven? Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* It’s hard to look your boss in the eye and lick his boots at the same time. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A time and a season for everything, but happiness first.
marty rubin
Looking in the mirror is seeing what other people see.
marty rubin
Never do anything important if you can help it.
marty rubin
"someday, someone may make a movie of your life. make sure it doesn't go straight to video"- Anthony Burrill
Tori Rowland
A philosopher who denies happiness is like an astronomer who denies the stars.
marty rubin
Let every breeze draw you out of yourself.
marty rubin
I'm not arrogant, even some people didn't like Jesus.
Nick Michalski
Walking is blind, even toward a clear horizon.
marty rubin
Illusion will never change into something real
Tori Rowland
Experiences for which there are no words get along fine without them.
marty rubin
Some people are born stupid, but most of us got that way in school.
marty rubin
The cavity of your body may be filled with organs, but your soul is empty - filled with nothing.
Jane Wei
Since I don't write about culture, politics or sex, only the wind reads me.
marty rubin
When I told the rainbow what its colors meant, it laughed.
marty rubin
Marty Rubin never lost so much time as when he submitted to learn of the computer.
marty rubin
Everybody calls me "Marty." I never know what to call myself.
marty rubin
I eat lots of candy. It's good for my health.
marty rubin
* Democracy offers the freedom to write and the right not to read. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
I'm a realist. I think life is beautiful.
Everything is real when it happens and a dream afterwards.
marty rubin
Where would you be if you left all your troubles behind?
You don't need misfortunes to be miserable. Imagination will do the trick.
marty rubin
Put on a red nose and baggy pants when the circus is in town.
marty rubin
The real vacation is from the mind.
marty rubin
Press your lips to the fountain and drink life in.
marty rubin
* These days, wisdom means knowing that we don’t need to be wise. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Only the very young, the very old, the very rich and the insane can get away with saying exactly what they feel.
Irena Sprey
WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE
wendy rush
One day you will look back and laugh.
nova caliente
I guess we will find that out..
WA ZA
Without asking a clear question, there won't be a clear answer.
Gabi Jaime
Some people are just too temporary for anything permanent.
Jonathan Anthes
Jonathan Anthes
Sometimes loving humanity means hating people.
Garland Gardner
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
Elizabeth Ashton Foster
Only after disaster can we be resurrected.
Elizabeth Ashton Foster
Intelligence does not need Intel inside
All it needs is a good sense outside
Ravi Gupta
Cultivated monstrosities become the purest ornaments.
Mustafa Gür
"Chivalry is dead, but it's still kind of cute."
Sam Fitzpatrick
Live life in love with one another
Matt Augustine
Freedom is a great horse to ride; but to ride somewhere.
Matthew Arnold
Per Bertelsen
The poor and unfortunate don't have the luxury of time to learn to fish.
Mr. Dahi
* If you want to test a genius, set a fool on him. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Happy New Year!.. It’s an April Fools’ Day!
Leonid Sukhorukov
The more one learns, the less one knows.
leigh hawker
that wasn't tea.
Dee Amazing
* Prejudices are habits which have lost track of time. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
No Ne
Clever tyrants are never punished.
No Ne
A love one will never push you down.
Christina ROBOTO
When recession swells, sex sells!
Per Bertelsen
Life is not a dress rehearsal; LIVE IT!
Per Bertelsen
"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent!"
Pogo Possum by Walt Kelly
Anne Donahue
* Маанисиз ойлорду алтын менен да кооздой албайсың. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Kyrgyz language)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Kadedale inimesele halvim kink on palee... kust avaneb vaade teisele, veel paremale paleele. Leonid S. Sukhorukov - Estonian
* The worst present for an envious person is a palace… with a view of a better one. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
- English
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Our sins are our best assassins. Leonid S. Sukhorukov ("All About Everything", UK, 2005)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Our sins our best assassins. Leonid S. Sukhorukov ("All About Everything", UK, 2005)
Leonid Sukhorukov
CONCEPTUAL ART IS A GOOD IDEA
- John Baldessari
Chungaiz Khan Mumtaz
today is not yesterday, tomorrow will be better
Amie Ward
When spring comes we look at our dead lawn with dispare. We then go out and buy fertalizer with our well earned money. When we get home we spread the fertalizer own the dead grass and hope that it grows. We then wait. Soon the grass become very thick and tall. So we then cut our freshly grown grass down. What do we do with it then? We rake it up and throw it away. So... for a recap... we buy, wait, cut, then throw away. Honostly... what is the point?
Kinda makes you think... doesn't it?
yeah...
Allison C
Everything will not be okay, but things will improve. If you're getting better, you can't get any wors.e
Marielle de Torres
Crap happens. Learning how to flush it and make it all go away is the key.
Allison C
Reach for the stars.
Jana Miller
why does everyone always seem to be
far more clever than me.
Arne van Oosterom
Life can seem like a big messy bowl of spaghetti bolognese, think yummy and put on your plastic bib and start twirling your fork. Get the sauce all over your face. Want to use a knife and fork or pick out the mushrooms, go for it! Enjoy !
debbie winton
The tragedy is when man does not know himself or his enemy
debbie winton
We all have to answer are own questions. If you listen to others, it can help make sure you are asking the right question. If you follow others you are not even asking and if you keep asking the same questions, you avoiding the answers you already know. It is in writing that answer that we have learnt.
debbie winton
* Sleep and rise by the Sun and you will shine longer. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Diamonds only form under pressure.
Antony Thomas
To do or to undo. That is the question.
Maggie Claire
There is a simplicity in every complexity.
Maggie Claire
"If we are going to grow old gracefully, we ALL have to grow old gracefully. It's only fair." - Debra Di Giovanni
Sarah Battersby
We think we understand reality but our universe is only one of many.
Maggie Claire
What if you were no longer afraid?
Maggie Claire
Happiness is in how you see the world.
Wade Redfearn
Media is fluid. Know your volume.
hippie dad
Don't search for something you don't want to see.
Marielle de Torres
Sanity is but a part of insanity.
Stasa Stanisic
You don't have to go to the other side to get greener grass, but you do have to put up with shit for awhile the other way.
ChiChi Leibman
Understand and forgive that you can't completely trust anybody, not even yourself but, always have faith.
debbie winton
sit and listen to the wisdom of others, then run hearing only the sound of your heart.
debbie winton
* “Labour created man”(Fr.Engels)and man made life laborious. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Life is like sports. Sometimes you want to kill everyone on the field, but in the end it's all about haveing fun.
Marl Kondloch
Twitter made me learn one key thing: Relevance is relative!
Ralf Beuker
The glass is te wrong size.
Nick T
Discipline a child like you would brush your teeth; don't over do it.
Alex Rosenthal
* The more we know, the easier it becomes to admit what we don't know. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Knowing what you want is hard, making it happen is the easy bit.
Kate Jones
Life is a deck of cards; all of them jokers.
Antonie B
If its not an Ox its a cow.
vitor _
"If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got."
J. Mabley
CRUSHES ARE LIKE THE FLU, THEY CAN ONLY LAST FOR SO LONG.
Alex Rosenthal
I NEVER TRAVEL WITHOUT MY DIARY. ONE SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING SENSATIONAL TO READ ON THE TRAIN. (O. Wilde)
Lara Callegari
The Non-existent is whatever we haven't sufficiently desired. (F. Kafka)
Lara Callegari
A little rebellion every now and then is a good thing.
Seb Gillen
Question Everything.
Seb Gillen
* It's extremely difficult to devide people into good and bad, especially when they are too good at being bad. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Everything in moderation including moderation.
Mark Eijsermans
It is not uncommon to commiserate with a stranger's misfortune, but it takes a really fine nature to appreciate a friend's success. Oscar Wilde
Natasha Dean
An army of stags led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a stag...!!
Aftab Hameed Khan
Sometime you make a mistake
and sometime a mistake makes you
Ravi Gupta
Looks good, is good.
Lukas Barry
* The sixth sense is vital in marriage, particularly after the fifth divorce. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
You get in love by chance,
but you fall or rise in love is by choice.
Ravi Gupta
music is about hiting the earth w/ your feet, not waving your hands in the air
doru persinaru
If foresight was as deadly accurate as hindsight, risks would be too clear to ignore, and new experiences would be too frightening to embark on.
Alex Vail
I am conditioned to be air-conditioned.
Morgan Phillips
Mediocrity is forgiven more easily than talent. Emil Krotky
Nestor Uvarov
* Eating each other when we are not hungry is what distinguishes us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Will someone please switch off the limelight. PLEASE!!!
Sunil Malhotra
My motto is start at the top and work your way down
Stephen Lindsay
* When the TV programme's ratings fall, advertise Viagra. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Being at your wits' end opens new horizons. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If the minimum wasn't good enough it wouldn't be the minimum.
Franz Hamilton
A rich man has many friends... a poor man but a few
Ed Campanella
There is a simple rule of life,
Either you enjoy the life,
Or life will enjoy with you.
Ravi Gupta
* A professional doesn't have to be competent, just persuasive. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Remember, wherever you are, there you'll be!
albert bruchs
Having money isn't everything, not having it is.
Yasin Dahi
It's a whatever-situation whenever she's around
Mr. Dahi
* We'll all be there one day. So there we are. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to slide across the finish line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, and shouting GERONIMO!!! - Bill McKenna
John Jenkins
I am ...
Who is I?
toon nolten
He sets extremely low standards for himself and fails to meet them regularly
Stephen Lindsay
To think is to educate, to act is to learn
debbie winton
The greatest gift you can give, to yourself and others is your precious time.
debbie winton
You may only have one life, dont give it to others
debbie winton
Philosophers have sought to understand the world. The point is to complain about it.
Paul Evans
Imagination is composed of artificial layers of reality.
Joyce Yang
* Even the sun blushes when it sinks. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
It is better to seek forgiveness than permission
Stephen Lindsay
Uneducated, amateur aphorists are condemned to erroneously think they are original.
Dan Abrams
Bite your tongue too much, it swells.
Joseph Samuel Beckett, 2008
Joe Beckett
Life is a form of insanity.
alexandra smiley
* Life gives us a world of chances but not the time to travel. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
APOLOGIES AND PROMISES ARE BUT THE FLOWERS ON OUR TONGUES
Vicente Butron
Men make a long story short. Women make a short story long.
Maarten P. Kappert
There is no "I".
There is only being there.
Jon Leflar
The only thing I love about this life is the fact that I hate it.
Jon Leflar
I prefer to rule in Hell, Than to serve in Heaven.
Joe Rouhana
* Laugh at yourself and smile at others. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
P.S.: We've got plenty of space for our genius here.
Leonid Sukhorukov
Be humble and never forget that there is a Leonid S Sukhorukov in all of us
Jack Gardner
You have permission to look at life sideways.
Katie Jergens
time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
John Lennon
* Earthly paradise is an illusion of the perfect life. Hell is the perfect life without illusions Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The good thing about wearing a bra is that you don't have to take it off.
jill mathieu
Don't try just do it,
There is no such thing if you try.
Erik Chang
SIT, WALK, OR RUN, BUT DON'T WOBBLE
Walter Spoonbill
Gnothi Seauton.
Know Thyself.
Don't be lazy, take a break and think about it.
Michael Grinn
The best outlook on life is that of the optimistic pessimist.
bobby cashman
I am me,
you are you.
The difference between me and you
is what makes me me and you you.
luc nagel
Definitely, definitely, definitely do whatever it is you're thinking.
Sam Fitzpatrick
DON'T LET ANYONE EVER
MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU
DON'T DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT.
GO FOR IT.
Patrick, 10 Things I Hate About You
Shannosaurus Rex
Don't let anyone ever
make you feel like
you don't deserve
what you want.
Go for it.
Shannosaurus Rex
Everything that is done in the darkness will come out into the light
Natily Ayala
It is human nature to think wisely and to act in an absurd fashion - Anatole France
Louise Simms
People who don't question life, do on their deathbeds.
Tegan Schetrumpf
Strength in mind, strength in body – loose one and you've lost the other.
Pandora Shallcross
* Weakness is force of habit. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Please, someone mention to Leonid Sukhorukov - less is most definitely more. (*-*)
Pandora Shallcross
* Freedom is the illusion of an imprisoned mind. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
* Liberdade é a ilusão de uma mente encarcerada. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Portuguese)
* Libertad es la ilusion de una mente encarcelada. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Spanish)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Freedom is the illusion of an imprisoned mind. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
* Liberdade é a ilusão de uma mente encarcerada. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Portuguese)
* Libertad es la ilusion de una mente encarcelada. Leopnid S. Sukhorukov (Spanish)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Experience is what you get when you've managed to get rid of what you've got. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Marriage is like a bicycle: it has two wheels but only one seat. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Words are euphemisms for the Unspeakable.
Guy Geduldig
Nervous tension is an unseen enemy of the human mind.
Ari Weiss
Stop looking at this box and go outside. Or do whatever the hell you wanna do, because you can.
Ari Weiss
The difference between experience and expertise is knowing the difference.
Alan Sangma
If It's Not Broken Don't Fix It
Fans of Rick O'Shea & Nikki Hayes
Don't take life too seriously. You'll never make it out alive.
Jeremy Schanzbach
Waiting for something is worse than knowing the outcome.
Pandora Shallcross
let your feet stomp.
kimberly rose
If life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in its eyes then mug it.
What has this site come to but people dribbling on about life!!!
matthew zeiler
Love dropped out of school in first grade
Antonio Pozo
Whenever I clasp a peach in my hands, I feel like I have the world within my grasp.
Emily Richards
A vacant lot is like pie
Michael Hollander
ONE MAN'S FAITH IS ANOTHER MAN'S INCREDULITY, WITH LITTLE IF ANYTHING TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM.
morgan evetts
* Life is what we make it. Plus expenses! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Only concern yourself with things that exist.
Roxanne Garofalo
Life is a sadistic bitch whose candid cover is surprisingly deceitful.
Rosali P
Ideas cannot be destroyed. Freedom is an idea.
Julian Adams
Imagination is the best way to say "fuck you!" to reality.
Paul Marique
Help until it hurts, and then help some more to ease the pain.
Antonio Pozo
When crossing the road, think like a car.
mark roder
* The egg does not teach the hen but it perplexes her. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Worshipping power creates the inquisitor. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. It will spoil the lawn. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When you're skating on thin ice, be prepared to get wet.
Juliet Newman
Nothing really matters, but that's the beauty of it.
Anony Mous
if the idiots could fly, we wouldn`t see the sun
Torcida Moria
truth is, we're all confused. some merely hide it much better than others.
kenny ezra
I have voted 'against' someone for the last time, hopefully.
John Williams
Speak or be silent
tom lancaster
The early bird catches the worm but the second mouse around gets the cheese.
matthew zeiler
Love and shit are the very same thing. Pouring it out feels great but it won't last.
Crack Whore
Love and shit are the very same thing. Pouring it out feels great but it won't last.
Crack Whore
* The harder we fight for peace the greater the danger that no stone will be left standing. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Fight for truth peacefully. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Never interrupt a silent enemy. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Book of aphorisms "All About Everything", UK, 2005)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Don't trust a mirror. It can't tell left from right. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* If you don't believe in the resurrection of the dead, look at politicians seeking re-election. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Don't believe the next aphorism.
luc nagel
I went to thedailyaphorism.com and all I could submit was this lousy aphorism.
luc nagel
I am not a robot
luc nagel
Everybody else's story is just as complicated as your own.
Zach Selby
* Wisdom is the meeting point of doubt and certainty. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Once candle is lit, time melts away. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Book "All About Everything", UK, 2005)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Happiness divided by two is multiplied. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Marriage is the dark side of the honeymoon. Leonid S. Sukhorukov (Book "All About Everything", UK, 2005)
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Character is an inhabited habit. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Never consider yourself too big - it's a small world. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Love your mistakes, but don't marry one. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Education is the scientific exchange of ignorance. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* To spend money wisely – first spend it on your wisdom. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Poverty has nothing to lose and lots to find. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Wealth and poverty are separate worlds on the same planet. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* First Law of Law: You can't invent the wheel without bending the rules. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Improvisation ist der verzweifelte Versuch, sich an das Stück zu erinnern. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If anyone needs a bailout it is the dead.
Biff Geezman
I love spending time at home with my family. It's my favorite thing to do besides spending time at home by myself.
Ammon Allred
We are all stars, but some of us are looking in the gutter.
Dan Chilcott
There is more to life than reality
Elise Mckenna
Hope is the quintessential of all human emotions.
Nisreen Motiwalla
I observe, therefore I am.
simon crosby
Ignorance is bliss.
matthew zeiler
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
matthew zeiler
Just remember, if the world didn't suck we would all fall off.
matthew zeiler
Systemise to rationalise.
Phil Evans
Faster faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.
Phil Evans
For generosity, there is no such thing as ingratitude. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Welcome the fool, for in his shadow we appear brighter. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Man creates religion to fight each other, God creates it to win our hearts and minds. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The sharpest wit strikes the target before the shot. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A little freedom is seductive – it makes eyes at independence. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
To lead others, embody their ideals! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Shallow footprints are soon covered by the dust of time. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Every cudgel is a two-headed stick. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Enlighten the path of others – darkness lights its own way. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
An ethical foreign policy means helping them up after you’ve knocked them down. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Employers prefer to take honest people because honest people don’t take. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Cry until you laugh, and laugh until you die.
Alejandro Aceveda
I reallo love you but i really hate your works.
hank park
Like stew, retorts are always better the next day.
Talkers never find the listeners they desire, listeners always find...
Before offering an opinion consider, at some length, the unique silence of thickly falling snow.
You will disappoint if you deliver excellence when mediocrity was requested.
Do not worry about who owns the cups, worry about who owns the water.
In a world of religious conflict wouldn't a rotating God make more sense.
When something just can not go on any longer, it usually does.
Let the fool lead first.
Democracy is the triumph of the mild prejudices of the many over the extreme prejudices of the few.
Be not the Fox when chickens have been murdered.
A weak friend is more dangerous than a strong enemy.
Observe arrogance in the same silence you would watching a drunk wearing flip-flops walking across a wet marble floor.
What we fear more than anything is that there are no ghosts.
A doubt is just another kind of certainty.
Convince the robot who believes that you are the robot that she is wrong.
Money evaporates, debts condense.
The more hands holding the snake the better.
When all questions have been aswered the one that will remain is, have they?
Jack Gardner
Everyone should get alive and get a life.
Bryan chan
Everyone is somehow sick, even the healthiest ones, because they are sick of getting sick.
Bryan chan
don't ask me, because I don't know why
but it's like that, and that's the way it is.
Run DMC
luc nagel
Everybody lies, but it dosn't matter because no-one listens.
matthew zeiler
The grass is always greener where the fertilizer is spread thickest.
Toad Stool
A friend is somebody who will bail you out of jail at 4am.
A good friend would be in jail with you.
A best friend would help you hide the body so you don't end up in jail.
Toad Stool
On the keyboard of life, always keep a finger on the escape key.
matthew zeiler
when in doubt, go to the theatre with tracy, and the answer will become apparent.
jane evans
"Let's see why we all blindly follow along."
Ken Son
* Improvisation is a desperate attempt to remember the tune. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Toss a coin to make a decision and the outcome will be more interesting than going by the book (as the book is widely known to be a bore).
Margo Mano
feeling is believeing
ian whitaker
free will is not a cage
ian whitaker
Is terrorism inside the United States really from outside, or is it a stage managed production, designed to cause Americans to believe they have no choice but to surrender the Republic and accept the totalitarian rule of a new emperor, or a new Fuhrer?
darrin smith
Real eyes realize real lies
Marc Miller
The time of your life... is your lifetime
Sally Child
ART - A primary aphorism.
Pandora Shallcross
Politics, religion,life. All dead without emotion.
Pandora Shallcross
I,me,you,we - united, though only by personal subjective pronouns?
Pandora Shallcross
the fountain of youth turns ten today
tanushri shukla
Smile.
Even if that means walking on your hands.
Sasha Bideau
Thanks to great singers, music has acquired a human voice. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Don’t seek happiness in life, give life to happiness! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Money isn't everything but neither is it nothing. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
For every shortcut, there's a reason it's not the main road.
Kate Smith
Forget your coins,
I want change!
luc nagel
Sometimes i am determined sometimes i just want to sleep..
savanna puckett
The banks really want to give you money -
as long as you don't really need it.
The less you need the money,
the more the money they give.
Rev. Dr. Knut M. Heim
If YOU don't look after yourself, no-one else will.
Rev. Dr. Knut M. Heim
If you think that Life is a Bitch... Then YOU are the 'PUSSY'
Aylmer Lyngwa
The milk of disappointment: sour hope
Sally Child
Close encounter with the TRUTH gave me the REAL STRENGTH.
Gaurav Mishra
It is better to lose a limb than gain one.
Jennifer Whitehead
Good friends always back you up.
Only the very best of friends will have the guts to tell you when you're being a complete arse.
Emily Hasler
Be watchful of ambition and luxury. They both lay beyond ears grasp & whisper 'you are not enough'.
Ira Webbe
Today begins tomorrow.
Ira Webbe
“All people possesses capacity and knowledge from there world of life and viewpoint even kids.”
Siv Östman
“Dignified societies dignify and welcome every new human!”
Siv Östman
“It is in the meeting between - from inside and from outside insight that real changing interaction becomes possible”
Siv Östman
We are a mixture of good and evil. For some, good balances the evil - for others, evil balances the good. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
P.S.: Happy Christmas to all!
Leonid Sukhorukov
Anyone can be an atheist … God willing. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Happiness is the precious gift of surrounding oneself with happy people. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
It’s hard to swim against the stream – especially the bloodstream! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
For some, religion cures the soul, for others it sickens the mind. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Democracy opens mouths but does not fill them. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The main gift of democracy is the freedom to demand it. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Money is evil… and the less we have the more evil it becomes. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Anaesthetics come in three forms – local, general and national. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The US Congress is the only place a person can get a job for $145,000.00 per year,
live a life of luxury, retire with millions of dollars and with a straight face call it
"public service".
John Rudd
All things cycle-but we can only understand things that cycle quicker than our lifecycle
John Rudd
Avoiding discomfort with political correctness, makes me uncomfortable
John Rudd
I dreamed I died on Mars, in the dream, I am an old woman, looking out the window upon a most foreign of vistas out of my final bed, so far away from the salty seas and blue skies of home...and I laugh to myself in my lonely room.
M Wright
Are you trying to tell me that you never yearned for a little heartbreak?
Meagan Heinloo
There was no tomorrow
jane evans
There is meditation in the mundane
jane evans
The mundane eventually becomes meaningful
jane evans
Fear not having to divide your love. Love multiplies
jane evans
Only you know why you did it
jane evans
Your only worthy competitor is yourself
jane evans
"I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife, while muting the television.
Andy Graham
If being "cool" is really being yourself, then what's a geek?
Jayson Albano
There is no such thing as normal. Only stereotypical and generic.
Jayson Albano
We have used our sexual liberation to enslave ourselves to sex.
Brian Stanley
I would go as far as setting myself on fire just to be your beacon of light.
Jayson Albano
An epiphany is a whim that sticks.
Brian Stanley
The shortest day of the year is happily the widest aperture to infinity - night merging seamlessly with the infinite - the most night of the year our gift on the shortest day.
Tom Luke
The pursuit of happiness is doomed to fail, not because no one can be happy, but because no one can be happy by trying to be. Each new land that Alexander the Great conquered, instead of satisfying him, merely widened the circumference of his desires. Meanwhile in Macedon, his servants kept the stables, made love to their wives, and never dreamt of Persia's riches. Happiness is the pursuit of nothing.
more aphorisms and paradoxes at www.brianjaystanley.com
Brian Stanley
* Modesty is the shortest route to obscurity. But once famous, you can afford to become modest. - English
* A modestía é o caminho mais curto até a escuridão. Mas com fama, temos o luxo de ser modestos. – Portuguese
* Хоть скромность и кратчайший путь в неизвестность, зато, получив известность, можно позволить себе любую скромность. - Russian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Modesty is the shortest route to obscurity. But once famous, you can afford to become modest. - English
* A modestía é o caminho mais curto até a escuridão. Mas com fama, temos o luxo de ser modestos. – Portuguese
* Хоть скромность и кратчайший путь в неизвестность, зато, получив известность, моржно позволить себе любую скромность. - Russian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* You can lock the door on talent but time will find the key. - English
* Рuoi tenere il talento sotto chiave. Ma il tempo, la chiave, la troverà. – Italian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Life is not a laughing matter ... but can you imagine having to live without laughing? (In Reader's Digest, 4, 1998) - English
* Az élet csöppet sem nevetséges - de el tudják képzelni, milyen lenne, ha nevetés nélkül kellene élni? (In Reader’s Digest) - Hungarian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Un aforism este un roman de un rând. – Romanian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* An aphorism is a one-line novel. - English
* Um aforismo é um romance de uma linha. - Portuguese
* Афоризм - это роман в одну строку. - Russian
* Un aforismo es un novela de una liña. – Spanish
* En aforism är en roman av en rad - Swedish
* Афоризм - це роман в один рядок. - Ukrainian
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
* Un aforism este un roman de un rând.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* In life, everything is relative — except Einstein’s theory! - English
* ในชีวิตทุกสิ่งทุกอย่างสัมพันธ์กัน ยกเว้นทฤษฎีของไอสไตน์ - Thai
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* First Law of Philosophy: The deeper you think, the deeper you sink. -English
* První právo filozofie: Hlouběji my myslíme, hlouběji my klesáme. - Czech
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* We all have equal rights but different blessings. – English
* Todos têm direitos iguais mas com benções differentes. - Portuguese
* Todos tienen derechos iguales pero con bendiciones diferentes. - Spanish
* Vi har alla samma rättigheter men med olika välsignelser. - Swedish
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* War brings peace, but only to its victims. - English
* A Guerra traz paz, mas só para as suas vítimas. - Portuguese
* La Guerra trae paz pero solo para sus victimas. - Spanish
* Krig framkallar fred men bara till sina offer. – Swedish
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* It is never too late to study, but it may be too late to learn.
* Nunca é tarde demais para estudar, mas poderá ser tarde demais para aprender. - Portuguese
* Nunca es demasiado tarde para estudiar, pero podera ser demasiado tarde para aprender. - Spanish
* Det är aldrig för sent att studera, men det kan vara för sent for at lära sig. – Swedish
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* No matter how long you teach a fool, he still knows everything. - English
* Não importa quanto tempo tu enisnas um tolo, ele continua a saber tudo. – Portuguese
* No importa cuanto tiempo tu enseñas a un tonto, el continua a saber todo. – Spanish
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Intuition without reason leads only to true opinion, not truth itself
Tracy Howard
O nada também transborda de vazio.
João Serenus
O cachorro vigia o silêncio como o jardineiro vigia o jardim.
João Serenus
Fear makes the wolf look bigger.
Holly Stardust
Do we build wall's to keep people in or to keep them out?
Rose Rockabella
When someone says "I love you" substitute "I'm curious".
Biff Geezman
America is alchemy for turning greed into virtue. It gives us optimism.
Biff Geezman
Sex without love is an empty experience,
but as empty experiences go it's one of the best!
Richard Hunston
Nothing is impossible...Only the thought of something being impossible should never be possible.
Pixie Stardust
Holly Stardust
Don't expect the unexpected.
Pixie Stardust
Holly Stardust
Together
More than one, less than two.
Bereft
Now feels less than one.
After Danny Abse
Robert MacGibbon
When we run away from each other we forget that the world is round.
Raphael Kamp
Only the dying know life. Only the dead know truth.
N. M.
We spend the first half our lives acquiring addictions ,and the second half trying to quit them.
Howard Kaye
Life until Death! Unless Death comes first.
Aleksandar Ratkovic
Powerless anger is the strongest. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Even alone in this world, we can still be at one with the Universe. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
To lay golden eggs, peck on the grains of truth. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Natural philosophy: the rosy dreams of a blue planet. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Big money may stink – but what a heady fragrance! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
All mortals are hostages of eternity. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
World politics is a game of cards played with maps. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Spiritual bonds are immune to the power of distance. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Every one of us is a genius, but not necessarily in the right epoch. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The best advice fares worst in the ears of the author
infinite livez
If we were as clever as we think we are, we would know that we are not.
Michael Quinnen
Live the life in front of you.
Pamela Barclay
When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.
Spencer Harrison
It ain't no fun, if the hoomies can have non.
Jilt Meeder
Make Change.
Do Change.
Change with a capital OK!
Jeremy Hofmsister Mac Lynn
The difference between
'Try' and 'Triumph'
is a little 'Umph'.
Chris Tully
If trees could talk, would they tell happy stories or sad stories?
Anthony Schneider
ALWAYS judge a book by its cover
Alexander Langlands
The school for life by copying the ideas of the Oxford muse has given the highest form of flattery^^
Graeme Outerbridge
I've come a long way; from now to Now...
Ioannis Christodoulou
don't worry
whatever happens
happens mostly
without you.
sophie springer
WANTING EVERYTHING TAKES TIME.
sophie springer
Salt and pepper are nothing alike, yet they work well together. Food for thought.
David V
Follow your heart, you will need your head if it all goes wrong!
Lisa Rogers
Whenever Whatever
Shakira Argetina
A real question is one that works on you, day in, day out and simply won't let go (until you do).
Andy Bell
you don't have to go to the other side to get greener grass
richard watkins
The meaning of life is to experience being alive.
David McMurtrie
Don't be stupid. Risk it all.
Bas Weers
Better 3 bugs flying, then 1 fly bugging!
El bugho Bonfire
Simon says, 'see 'm on'
El Bucho
I've been watching paint dry for years, now it's time to wallpaper over it.
Richard Slade
Never losing means you played too safe; never winning means you should change your game.
Alice Raine
"It's just an expression" is just an expression.
Matthew Dekneef
My life is full of plot holes.
Matthew Dekneef
You don't have to do all that can be done, just all that you can do.
Andrew Webb
Don't worry about life, you're not going to survive it anyway.
Marc Cinq-Mars
Rarely does a missed deadline result in a death.
Keir Bosley
The quoting of an aphorism, like the barking of a large dog, rarely indicates that something good is about to happen.
-- Lemony Snicket
Jordan Durham
The brightest lazy person fails where the dimmest ambitious person succeeds.
Josiah Perez
PAIN is WEAKNESS leaving the body!!!!!!
Mickey English
Do you live your dream or dream to live?
Mickey English
if batman were a bird, he would be birdman.
paige smith
Don't you know that life becomes so miserable when you're dead?
Jeremy Frenette
I think the rule of finders keepers should be true only to friendship. If you find a friendship, keep it.
Jeremy Frenette
I think the rule of finders keepers should be true only to friendship. If you find a friendship, keep it.
Jeremy Frenette
Experience your pain, appreciate your ecstasy.
Elliott Chevin
I hope for nothing, I fear nothing, I am free
Nikos Kazantzakis
Theodoros Karapateas
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, glass of red wine in the other, body thoroughly used up and totally worn out while screaming "WOO HOO! What a ride!"
Dan van Dan
Everyday I find a reason why people who have commited suicide are probably wiser than those who haven't.
David Salas
Life is not like a penis. Life is always hard.
E Oren
When you do nothing, nothing gets done.
Steph B
Trust everyone once
Ian Gilbert
Nothing does not exist. Nothing is simply the absence of something.
Ariel Alexander
Life is a side effect of existence so don't take it too seriously - side effects vanish in time, you know.
Aleksandar Hitrov
A just Creator would not require you to think of him. He'd merely require you to think.
Asmundur Helguson
Because autodidacts have the great fortune of being able to grade themselves they do not suffer for their sloppy study habits. Those who listen to them do.
Ammon Allred
I wasn't sure I had an aphorism to contribute until I looked up what it meant.
matt jones
The day I beat my alarm clock is the day I die in my sleep.
Ben Penn
This sentence is just that.
Pee Mack
EVERYTHING MORE OR LESS TASTES LIKE CHICKEN
David McMurtrie
Wisdom is not what you know, but seeing what others know.
David V
Terorism is frustrated tyranny
Reginald Oliver
I wish i was where i was when i was wishing i was here.
Jonathon Owens
the truth is each one has its own.
the lie is each one.
Bernardo Macedo
I would lose half of my emotional life if I didn't have guilt.
Barry Johnson
When someone asks 'what do you do?', I get confused. I have not lasted in any job long enough to know what I do.
Umanga Pandey
Words are cheap and poets are cursed with poverty.
Umanga Pandey
I am like a pea in a colander looking for a way out.
Pauline Hill
Expect the worst and you'll never be disappointed.
Paula Dunlop
The glass isn't half empty. It's not half-full either. It's leaking.
Mehdi Musawi
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is the dream of transplant surgery.
Jack Benlow
I love being alive. It's just comforting to know that suicide is an option.
Dan Poulton
Simple isn't easy.
Nick Fell
I am the world's foremost expert at only one thing - being me.
Terri Blake
Once in a while you gotta burn down your house, keep your dreaming alive. Once in a while you gotta burn your lips, keep your feelings alive.
Lily Java
Lily Java
Do not forget freedom is not on your to-do list
Arjen Noordhof
The Scottish are well balanced, chips on both shoulders.
A non
Pi is completly pointless, a circle has no verticies.
Adrian Tompkins
Take my wife. No really, take my wife.
Jackie mason
the only way we can be patient with someone is to realize that they're worth it.
london gabanna
An erection is an honesty meter
Biff Geezman
Is the water that misses you in the shower wasted?
Jack Gardner
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give a man a fishing rod and he will starve.
Jack Gardner
Denial works better in wide open spaces
Max Porter
I'm just an empty canvas, eager to be painted.
Jessica Young
I tried to imagine the absolute nothingness.I got absolutly nothing.
Nicoleta Pynn,Toronto,Canada
Nicoleta Pynn
1. Take two opposites, connect the dots, and you have a straight line.
2. Truth can be like a large, bothersome fly - brush it away and it returns buzzing.
3. In life, as in love, graceful leave-taking is the epitome of gratitude.
4. Pleasure may be snatched from life’s clenched fists, not joy.
5. The small spirit is quick to misperceive an insult, the large spirit slow to receive a compliment.
6. Like cars in an amusement park, our direction is often determined through collisions.
7. To be treated with mercy, some must reveal their handicaps, while others must conceal them.
8. Time heals old wounds only because there are new wounds to attend to.
9. Things are at their most comfortable, before they collapse – be they armchairs or relationships.
10. With enigmatic clarity, Life gives us a different answer each time we ask her the same question.
Yahia Lababidi
I tried to imagine the absolute nothingness.I got nothing.
Nicoleta Pynn,Toronto,Canada
Nicoleta Pynn
How could I live in the moment?The moment a second from the future enters our lives becomes the past.
Nicoleta Pynn,Toronto,Canada
Nicoleta Pynn
It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.
c/o Upton Sinclair
Elliott Cooper
Maybe tomorrow
Nick Eagleton
You can't threaten me with Heaven.
William Barden
As with mariners shipwrecked near a coast, it would have been better for the bad swimmers if they had not been able to swim at all and had stuck to the wreck.
Origin of Species, Chapter V
charles darwin
There is complicity in inaction.
n e
Sometimes
getting lost
is part of finding your way
janita thiele
People are less complicated than they think they are. They are also more complicated than we think they are.
Ainara Del Valle
Why should I now what I´m doing here? I´m doing nothing anyway.
Julyana Weksler
A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops. On
my desk I have a work station...
Steve Young
All generalizations are stupid, including this one.
Julyana Weksler
It's not the only thing we have to fear is fear itself : it's the only thing we have to fear is fear ourselves.
Phil Tschirhart
Now is the winter of our dishcloth tent.
Elliott Cooper
UNSETTLE YOUR MIND, AND YOU WILL BE FREE
Paloma Marin
1.Sadly, ambition is not confined to the talented.
2. Tolerance is apt to decrease in relation to experience.
Janice James
It isn't Simple to be Simple
Shachar Pessis
The problem with common sense is that it isn't all that common.
Robert Houghton
Do the right thing; it will gratify those who expect it, and astonish those who don't.
Ray D'Shramp
It's easy to criticize someone when you are a mile away from them, even if you are wearing their shoes!
Dan van Dan
Talent imitates, genius samples.
Faris Yakob
Talent imitates, genius cuts and pastes.
Faris Yakob
Maintain civility, practice tolerance, acquire contentment.
Ray D'Shramp
Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.
Geoffrey Morton-Haworth
Regardless if your glass is half full or half empty, you still have half a glass to go.
Ray D'Shramp
never look down on another, unless you are offering your hand to help him up
Ann Lawrence
Good and bad are just words, feeling is everything.
Christopher Trano
The present is the history of the future.
G Hawke
Oh what a tangled sweater we knit when at first we practice to never try try again.
-Kelly Bundy
Heywood Jablowme
we are [for one another] an innumerable mass of atlases; our charge to piece together fragments of truth and heap the weight of humanity upon our shoulders.
rayshauna gray
We don't need to spread the wealth. We nned to spread the effort.
Troy Yap
Some of us are Astronauts, some are Astronomers. And some are just Astrologers.
Tobias Revell
(An aphorism that is often spoken in recovery groups, no one really knows who coined it first. However, it expresses a universal truth nonetheless) "Live easy but think first!"
David McMurtrie
If your glass is half empty, you've already had a drink and you've still got half a glass to go.
Dan van Dan
A learning experience is one of those things that say, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.'
(Douglas Adams)
Dan van Dan
Never let the odds keep you from pursuing what in your heart you know you were meant to do.
Ray D'Shramp
Don't use words or time carelessly since neither can be retrieved.
Ray D'Shramp
Hold puppies, kittens and babies every chance you get...
Ray D'Shramp
Always look for trouble;
Then avoid it!
Ray D'Shramp
Always do the right thing, simply because it's the right thing to do.
Ray D'Shramp
I only know as much as I remember.
Julia Jarvis
Confidence also comes from how much you are committed.
Chloe Ding
Don't let the facts get in the way of the truth.
Rishi Dastidar
Sometimes, looking for trouble is the right thing to do.
Rishi Dastidar
When shit becomes of value, the poor will be born without assholes.
Mark C
Being alive is enough for crazy-making.
Tegan Robinett
I blog, therefore I am
F Silveira
Do or do not.
spencer friend
I have never really completely understood anything.
Ann Lawrence
I speak truth to power whenever I tell myself how handsome I am.
Ammon Allred
One advantage of writing over speech is that it enables us to preserve our thoughts for the sake of future embarrassment.
Michael J. Weber
The only way to defeat life is to enjoy it.
Michael J. Weber
Nothing bungled, nothing ventured.
Michael J. Weber
If discontent did not exist, we would probably be obliged to invent it.
Michael J. Weber
There are many to whom self-knowledge would constitute an identity crisis.
Michael J. Weber
On play depends much of life’s seriousness. Without enjoyment, or a vivid prospect of it for ourselves and those we love, most of us would find life a lot less obviously valuable.
Michael J. Weber
Man cannot live on necessities alone.
Michael J. Weber
He who knows all the answers has obviously misunderstood at least some of the questions.
Michael J. Weber
Life is much too short for hardheaded practicality or steel-trap judgments.
Michael J. Weber
Nothing improves the species so much as wars of religion; the credulous leap to their deaths by the thousands, leaving mostly sceptics to reproduce their kind.
Jordan Brown
The fact that nothing is certain does not imply that anything is possible.
Dan Johnson
There are dog people and cat people. Dog people prefer dogs to cats; cat people prefer cats to people.
Anonymous
Hear everything. Here, everything.
Brandon
A child believes everything he hears, a fool hears everything he believes and a wise man hears everything.
Brandon
One should believe in something to die for, no one should believe in something to kill for.
Brandon
The modern person is confronted with two options: consume dangerous drugs or consume dangerous ideas. The former threatens to destroy their bodies, the later the very society which necessitates the former.
Brandon
The greatest liberty is the power to be merciful toward those who cause you injury.
Brandon
Euphoria can be bought, courage cannot.
Brandon
Materialism is valuing what you do not have and not valuing what you do have.
Brandon
Aphorisms are widely read but often narrowly understood.
Brandon
Philanthropists are misanthropes who wish they weren't.
Ammon Allred
We tell too much, so we think less well.
SDMuzzy
No matter what you believe, One thing unites us all. You are probably wrong.
Bob Churchill
Only through strife does one become stronger. So when you find hell, grab on, and never let go!
Aesielle Ehrhart
Why listen to someone who has never done anything, tell you, that you never can?
Aesielle Ehrhart
The longer I live, the more I realize, that life is nothing but fighting against common sense.
Aesielle Ehrhart
One of man’s greatest mistakes is believing he is worthy of peace. One of man’s greatest failings is fighting for this.
Aesielle Ehrhart
What inspiration is worth waiting around for?
Aesielle Ehrhart
Beware the knowledge you gain!
Aesielle Ehrhart
If not you, then who?
Gail Renard
Definition of "a priori": Empirically uninformed premise that helps one's argument go through, and is therefore said to be "known".
James Grindeland
Definition of "a priori": Empirically uninformed premise that helps one's argument go through, or helps one's problem exist in the first place, so that there can be an entire industry of well-paid people trying to solve it, and is therefore said to be "known".
James Grindeland
Tracking the minds of those brilliant thinkers is great; greater is to find their endless excavations for truth, their war of wisdom where intellectual weaponries played havoc of human evolution. But the greatest to me is the intellectual bravery of questioning every phenomenon.
Palden Gyal
The greatest happiness from* the greatest number: 69.
Justin R. Morris
The greatest happiness for the greatest number: 69.
Justin R. Morris
Theodicy: An omniscient, omnibenevolent God will surely understand why I refuse to believe in Him.
Ammon Allred
Quantum theory tells us that space is infinite, time goes on forever; but you still can't get a plumber when you need one.
Jack Benlow
An aphorist is a bee-keeper who can't spell
Jack Benlow
A religious experience is madness by another name
Jack Benlow
Watching paint dry is exciting compared with the endless boredom of test cricket
Jack Benlow
"One thing is one thing, another thing is another thing."anonm
Paulo Cesar
IT IS EASIER TO HATE THEN LOVE.
Kris HAYWARD
Women are good from far but far from good
Joessp Alonzo
Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to park right next to it.
(David Lee Roth)
Jess Houghton
Be good, but if you can't be good, be bad, but be really good at it.
Jess Houghton
We're all drivers on the economy bus. Whaddya say we go somewhere nice?
Bill Frederick
It is hard to capture the spirits of people using the limited capacity of language. They are forces whose energy both breeze by and settle in.
Tegan Robinett
i want to be unflummoxed. that's why i'm going to college.
Tegan Robinett
Woman have three choices: Dante, Don Juan or Don Quiote
Biff Geezman
The quickest way to ruin a relationship is to start one.
Kristen Chang
If you don't want the answer, don't ask the question!
Andy Snitker
There is always something unknown in our life. Will you allow this X exist, or are you going to keep calculating the value of this X through your life?
Chloe Ding
While it is true that you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar, if your goal is simply to catch flies - try shit.
Flongo Rantuzzi
I may be perverted, but I am NOT a pervert.
Peter Milligan
its not a matter of greener grass.. its how good is the lawn mower. shh
stace hayworth
Why do I have so much laundry when I have absolutely nothing to wear?
niccy gotch
Jesus loves you; everyone else thinks you are an asshole.
Homer Simpson
Every man is an island. Luckily, we thrive for Pangaea.
Paulo Filipe
you know those sweatshirts with the cuff neck that zips? guys can NEVER go wrong with that.
wait, maybe they can.
Tegan Robinett
When men argue with women they have two choices....To be right OR to be happy.
Jenn Noneyourbiz
Humans are like snowflakes. Too small to tell apart and they don't last long.
M. Duncan
Humans are like snowflakes. Too small to tell apart and they don't last long.
M. Duncan
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Stephanie Zweig
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Stephanie Zweig
i've taken quite enough, thank you God
Tegan Robinett
It is better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission.
M. Duncan
This one time I ate a can of Hormel tamales. It sucked.
Twenty Nine
Whatever makes your chickens cluck.
Marwan Itani
You have to let go of everything to see how to hold tight to the things that matters
Christoph Wong
No surprise, it's unsurprising.
Alexander Choat
If all you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail.
Jason Handby
just because we are the same person, it doesn't mean that we are the same person.
Tegan Robinett
You know, in times like these, drugs sound really good.
Zoe Lance
Necessity is a mother.
Ken Gleason
There is no such thing as you or me. There's no such thing as nothing.
Lauren Ruben
Everything is the same, even if it's different.
Lauren Ruben
Everything is the same, even if it's different.
Lauren Ruben
How am I not myself?
Lauren Ruben
If one is the loneliest number, then zero must be the luckiest; nothing can be luckier than nothing.
Jenna Gotthelf
Love. It's worth more than all the money in the world, and yet it can come crashing down like an avalanche.
Piper Matlock
Life should be lived as desinterestingly as possible, so that death arrives as a good thing.
Ricardo Luis
The real difference between living alone and living with others is that when you live with other people and you want a banana, you chose the banana at the most perfect ripeness. When you live alone, you just choose the ripest banana.
Andy Maag
The real difference between living alone and living with others is that when you live with other people and you want a banana, you chose the banana at the most perfect ripeness. When you live alone, you just chose the ripest banana.
Andy Maag
Best revenge is a happy life.
rosen zhelev
Best revenge is a happy life.
rosen zhelev
Wasted time is like dried clay: useless and impenetrable.
Lindsay Stern
Love is often the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Nadia Wasabi
love is an ABILITY
heartache is an EMOTION
Deon Wilson
Emotions are
when “fragileness” in life is every days existence
Siv Östman
When souls converse, words fall silent.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
When souls converse, words fall silent.
Leonid S. SUYKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
In the war between good and evil, the only winner is war itself.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
Before you bet on who will beat who, first find out who’s backing who!
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Each life is a momentary flash in the crucible of Eternity.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A subtle aphorism needs erudition not explanation.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Nothing in nature disappears without trace, except the natural environment.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
There are two species of mankind: homo giviens and homo takiens.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Give a flea a horseshoe and it will think itself a horse.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
To enter Paradise, avoid it in life.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Anything is funny if you laugh at it.
libby s.
Feeling guilty
After eating ice cream is
Rediculous
Madison Bassett
Don't try to do things, do try them!
manos chatzikonstantis
Don't try to do things, do try them!
manos chatzikonstantis
The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as of the greatest virtues.
-René Descartes
Topher Fulton
Do what makes you happy and figure out a way to make money doing it.
Will Price
Ideas are funny things; they don't work if you don't.
Mik Peters
Sometimes I think to myself, I would be better off dead, then I see your beautiful face. I guess I'll stay alive for a little longer
Nicole St. Hilaire
I am, first and foremost, to my dismay, due to circumstances and internal chemistry with which I am completely unfamiliar, an idealist.
Bailey Hutchinson
If you want to hold a house meeting in the kitchen try pissing in the sink
Jack Gardner
Snowboarding is more important than food, that is why snowboarders are skinny.
Nigel Storey
That's it. I'm not tying my shoes any more. Just don't have the time.
horatio salt
Love ALL your neighbours. Especially the girl next-door...
Coco Olver
Remember: Everything and everyone around you is made from the same stuff you are.
Anna Waters
I know too little of far too much.
But I feel more than ever.
I know too much of far too little.
And I'm certain of nearly nothing.
Steven Stringer
Nothing is beyond figuring out.
Steven Stringer
Time is a great healer. Don't call an ambulance, ring the speaking clock.
Simon Fraser
Tradition is habit on a pedestal.
Stuart Candy
Life is too short to wait for the green light.
Sasha Vidakovic
Bad men die like good men live, begging for forgiveness.
Brian Kupillas
if your nose is running, catch it before it leaves you.
Lawson Vaughn
poetry is an emotional cop out, and it's all i've written for the past five years
Bailey Hutchinson
No pain, no pain
La Mandita
Life is like Sex: Sometimes it is the best thing ever, and sometimes it just goes too fast
Bengali Bangali
We are our thoughts, to think about who you would be or who you wouldn’t be, will result in who you are.
Doug G
Life is unkind, unfair and probably unnecessary
Robert Cox
These are things I know: hope floats, love conquers, and truth is perceived, never known.
Cait Clutter
Life is a dream, then you wake up.
Manny Hovanesian
For pessimists, every cloud has a silver lining: even when the worst happens, they can always say "I told you so"
Ruth Lang
Never trust a ponytail
Daniel Silburn
I am not a Robot
Baloney Face
Life is a lot like a car. You get in, THEN YOU FUCKIN DIE!
Baloney Face
Aphorisms should never involve cars.
Baloney Face
Happiness or joy or twatever you call it is like a woman's orgasm it can never be attained it can only ensue. Scuze me I have to get back to work.
Baloney Face
Seeming isn't being . . .,wanting isn't doing.
rh bee
I am here. You are here. It is now. The rest is speculation.
Wayne Wightman
Once you learn that life is a dream, you wake up to reality.
Jack Arouchian
An open mind still has a door.
Rob Stradling
Nothing is "perfect". Because if something was "perfect" it would have one flaw, that it does not have any flaws.
Aamir Laique
Hindsight is only useful once we invent time machines.
Ming Y.
It's all terribly important, and none of it is.
Ashley Kramer
A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single click.
Ryan Gobbe
If you can't dazzel `em with cash,
baffel `em with loose change
Sean Delgado
If you ain't dancing yo blocking
Yo Hop we Drop
Yo Ho Ho
Jaffa Wilson
I did the things i needed to do, when things get to hard to do, yo should to.
Rune Reinli
All aphorisms go into my own personal 'Aphorism Thunderdome' Two aphorisms enter, one aphorism leaves. Thus, through this crucible of fire, you end up with the answer to pretty much everything.
Robin Scott
Seeing through a new pair of glasses won't change your mind, but seeing through new eyes will.
Dragus Adrian
"Take a walk in his/her shoes..." -- I'd rather not walk in someone else's shoes when I can barely do so in mine, thanks.
chriss pham
“be the worst you can” is some advice to give people about yourself
Joao Coelho
Sanırım lirik sözcüğü en çok yüzüne yakışıyordu
Yüzündeki kuşkun kedere, gür kirpiklerinin altından
Kısık lambalar gibi ışıyan gözlerine
Çerçevesine sığmayan
Munis, sokulgan, hüzünlü resimlerine
Lirik sözcüğü en çok yüzüne yakışıyordu.
your circassian prince
Goodbye Bush: no more playing air guitar with my sanity
Biff Geezman
People are silly, they all take life so seriously; when none of it is permanent.
karson kaylee
Life is a research project... the trick is to get it funded.
Punya Mishra
arrogance is seldom else but veiled insecurity
chris carrassi
The meaning of life is the meaning in life.
Daniel Weir
The answer to all questions in married life -
"To please you".
gwyn williams
Nothing can be proven ultimately because everything is based on at least one assumption.
Lily Manganiello
I work all day and I chase my woman
Why don't she chase me sometime?
Everybody wants to be wanted
I mean I ain't no scarecrow cop
(from a John Prine song)
savanna puckett
If you were the water I would set myself on fire.
Colby Wallis
some people have called me smart. Some people have called me an ass. Most people have called me a smart ass.
savanna puckett
If you come with me, can I go too?
Sandra Collins
life is like lotto, if you play you can win.
r4mcst3r lopez
It isn't Simple to be Simple!
Shachar Pessis
For generosity, there is no such thing as ingratitude.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
Love can dwell in the simplest shack, especially if you own the forest.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
Welcome the fool, for in his shadow we appear brighter.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
It’s dangerous to beat your chest if you have a heart of stone.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
Some marriages give bachelors a master's degree.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV
Leonid Sukhorukov
When you teach a man you teach a person - when you teach a woman you learn a lesson.
Leonid S. SUKHORUKOV (Book "all About Everything", UK, 2005)
Leonid Sukhorukov
aphorisms personify hollowed out, abandoned tree trunks. majestic on the outside and full of shit on the inside.
Flavis Bones
when you reach the inevitability of failure, you realize that it might, or might not, outweigh the prospect of success. but this, my friend, is for you to decide.
Flavis Bones
If you aren't looking for you, you must be looking at you, and if you look at you, well...you just look.
Flavis Bones
All aphorisms drip with irritating certainty.
Wes Dunham
"Alcohol: That which renders any attempt at being polysyllabic all but impossible."
"Alcohol: The aqua vitriol of life."
"Bacchus: The Greek god of drunken football chants."
Bren Tierney
If I could take back anything in my life, I would probably take back writing this aphorism as it will undoubtedly cause me to reevaluate everything I have done, do, and will do.
Sunny Hashmi
Pain is vivid. Joy is blinding. In between is the bland haze we wander through for the vast majority of our lives.
Matt Gonzales
If something is impossible just think about it more.
John X
IL NE FAUT PAS PERDRE SA VIE A LA GAGNER
gadhoumi Mrad
If size didn't matter it wouldn't be in question.
m crooks
If there were universals, all would see them.
m crooks
Sincerity is everything.
If you can fake that, the rest is easy.
Ceylan Pojon
I am killing you with kindness.
C Andrus
You can have my heart, my soul, my love, but I'll never have you.
Anthony Arzaga
if the truth is that is justified, the justification couldn't be neither true nor falso
Ludwing wittgenstein
I'm in love with the idea of my death; it's the only thing that keeps me going...
Simon Reader
How splendid the arrogance of young and old,
in between which we forget ourselves.
David Lees
i never got rich, i never found the girl, follow me
andy fox
Ambition, I've found, can lead only to failure.
Conor Oberst
An optimist sees the glass half-full.
A pessimist sees it as half-empty.
A wise man sees a half glass.
Patrick Phillips
What you don't know can hurt you the blind man remarked recalling the incident with the car he didn't know was coming.
Linney P
The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people.
Sylvia Peay
I make the dough, she makes the bread.
yopablo g.
Perhaps there is some pity to be had not just for the unrequited lover, but for the unrequited love as well.
Bailey Hutchinson
Celebrate life.
For we will never be this young again.
Ceylan Pojon
We relish home truths, as long as the home isn't ours.
We desire power over others more when we find we have no power over ourselves.
In the language of the fanatic there are no critics, there are only enemies.
Successful people are often those who have made it their business to believe what is most convenient to them.
Self esteem is believing that we are what we are not; self respect is believing that we can be what we are not.
We like to ascribe our least favourite qualities to our enemies and our favourite faults to our friends.
The most effective liars are those who begin by lying to themselves.
The gods often bestow profound sincerity upon the shallow.
The selfish usually have better manners than the self-righteous. It takes courtesy to get what you want; no such refinement is needed when trying to get what you imagine God wants.
Artists should never reveal how good they think they are, firstly because people like to make the discovery for themselves, secondly because there is always the embarrassing possibility that the artist might be mistaken.
It is not enough for us to dislike a work of art; we must, preferably for moral reasons, prevent others from liking it.
History is not the extraction of truth from legend, it is rather the extraction of a truer legend from an older truth
Hell is heaven in aspic.
Forgiveness is the vengeance of the strong.
Reginald Oliver
Sometimes people are smarter with their mouth shut
Milan Serafimovski
Wisdom is the growing appreciation of our ignorance.
Richard Howard
I'm not sure if I'm indecisive or not.
Johannes Mehl
WHAT GOOD IS THE TRUTH
IF YOU CAN'T TELL A LIE SOMETIME
Jesse Ramirez
IF IT DON'T MAKE DOLLARS
IT DON'T MAKE SENSE
Jesse Ramirez
You only live once. Everything that is happening is happening.
Jillian Gallagher
IF YOU DON'T STAND FOR SOMETHING
YOU'LL FALL FOR ANYTHING
Jesse Ramirez
Subprime: the American dowry
Biff Geezman
WHAT THE EYES DON'T SEE
THE HEART DON'T FEEL
Jesse Ramirez
There are only three people in LA. Everything else is done with mirrors.
Brady Westwater
It's wiser not to be wise again.
Amy Chan
Ideas should never be left alone
-lonelymeme.com
ayllu 4me
Beware of what, and how, you learn, because it´s almost imposible to forget!
ayllu 4me
There is an "I" in Team. You are it, and so am I.
Jeremy Yachik
They do not know very good Latin, these botanists...
Emile Barnes
The truth is hard to see when you're blindoflded.
Brendan Retter
In a world of 1337ness the simple desire of love is not enough.
Thank You
There are only small answers.
Mike T
nostalgia or reality?
pick your poison.
lily voltaire
Think pink! But do not stick to it!
Bluree Grey
There is some debate on whether it is easier to forgive or forget. But if what happened didn't matter to you, then neither does the debate.
Stephanie McCrea
Cali's a Blaze
So blaze up that Cali shit!
Austin Holz
There are only three kinds of people--those who think and those who calculate.
Steven G. Kellman
Nothing can be proven ultimately because everything is based on at least one example.
Lily Manganiello
I believe that I should not believe in anything that will make me believe that believing is a good thing. contradiction? hell yeah!
Simin Erbel
There is no such thing as imperfection?....Think about it. Imperfection is actually impossible.
gilson chapple
Why no way of editing after you have committed? The font on this site is dreadful!...FAR TOO HARSH!
gilson chapple
Sleep.....The little death.
gilson chapple
Your car does not come from a factory...It comes from the ground. Gilson Chapple 2008
gilson chapple
Without doubt everything that is, is perfect.
Even if you think that everything is not perfect it will still be so,as every possible event that you thought of as imperfect is actually a perfect example of what you supposed it was not.
gilson chapple
True intelligence is knowing that we know nothing, true wisdom is accepting that we are foolish.
Sephira Cybeat
if you die earlier you can be dead longer
Martin Oudheusden
All intolerance must be destroyed!
Doug Murray
pizza makes the man, but the topping makes the pizza
joey scamma
If this is my Dream, then were is my Reality?
D'Arcy Fawn
It begins and ends with the colour of your skin.
Neo Mokgosi
If I don't know where I’m going, why do I feel lost?
Sapo Nuno
I'm really sad that I missed out on a college education. When I was at the university, I spent too much time studying.
scott scott
Stress is what to do and with whom
Biff Geezman
Synchronicity is the collision of intelligence
Biff Geezman
I’ve tried getting behind the idea of soulmates. The trouble is I don’t believe in souls.
Fred Lee
selfimprove meant food on the table, let's make a toast to that.
Jaffa Wilson
When I was younger I put the hood in childhood, growing up the pain in growing pains and now I'm older I take the revenge out of payback and help all I can.
Jaffa Wilson
If you have to start somewhere, A line from Botton can't hurt.
Jaffa Wilson
I used to be indecisve but now i'm not secure.
Jaffa Wilson
THE END IS NIGHTLY.
carpe diem (seize the day)
Jaffa Wilson
A voice means little without ears.
Daniel Weir
Life is just another soap-opera.
Gabriela Jurjea
Which of us can say what the gods hold wicked. - Beowulf (unknown)
sara shine
If a dance is worth doing
It's worth doing badly
Sally Child
Technology is not the final frontier. Self-protection is.
Biff Geezman
Desire is the end of the last good experience.
Biff Geezman
It is not who you know. It is also not what you know.
Biff Geezman
If you want to be spontaneous don't plan for it
Biff Geezman
Honesty without compassion is brutality
David Stewart
In this Technological Age one must LoL at Life
James McPherson
Learn to express yourself.
Katherine Meyerink
If you could stop time then how long would you stop it for?
Sharyn Jones
random success is best not left to chance
Jaffa Wilson
Why don't you take a long walk with our peers?
Jaffa Wilson
There are 2 typos of people we no
Jaffa Wilson
If it's important to you, then it's important to do.
Sharyn Jones
Breakfast comes first.
Enrique Reija
You don't have to go to the other side to get greener grass
richard watkins
Don't Think! You can get away with it
Babar Mumtaz
All the happiness you'll ever find, lies within YOU. Period.
Peter Norman
principled, but non-compliant
Jivan Astfalck
I need this three, but nothing else...
Courage, for the things i can change;
Peace, for the things i cannot change;
Wisdom, for distinguishing among these two.
Ceylan Pojon
What you eat today might hurt your butt-hole tomorrow.
Ceylan Pojon
Time is fun when we are having flies.
Ceylan Pojon
Who am I to say that I can't?
Topher Fulton
You can raed, write?
Cameron Monzon
To Love Is To Hold.
To Love Is To Hurt.
Sammy Crisp
Turns out we're just wishes turned to fishes, and there's no room left for water in the ocean.
L V
A web of ideas stretching across the cosmos; that's all we're made of.
Betty R
Media blanca, zapato oscuro, closet en apuros.
Rodrigo Armenta
No pain, no gain.
onur sarıkaya
Today could be the vest day of my life... why waste it.
Josh Taylor
When we wake up, we'll be dead.
Julia Haidinger
make (something you) love
eleanor davies
Desire - it's all you really want
John Molyneux
At work, at home, in your garden, and even just with respect to your hobbies, your sporting activities or your hairdo, the things that you put the most effort into are the most enjoyable. The only exception to the rule is love: the relationships that you put the least work into render you by far the most happiness.
emma townshend
One man's meat is another man's poisson
Babar Mumtaz
FEAR NO FEARS
Pedro Monteiro
He or she who laughs ,lasts
rodney hepple
This is a lovely idea but the font isn't. Please use a different font so the nice, intersting thought we start our day with doesn't jump out at us in SHOUTY BOLD BLACK WORDS!
Lovely notion tho - well done :) Jennifer x
Polly Amph
If I joked that your humour was 'Wildean' you'd probably ask me who 'Wild Ian' was.
Mark Wilson
Is that a comment or a remark? *giggles*
-a pretty eurasian lawyer
Alvin Seah
If you're wearing clothes, pretend you aren't, if you aren't wearing clothes, pretend that you are.
conor lendrum
Money might not buy happiness, but poverty doesn't buy anything.
Elizabeth Tallmadge
If one does not internalize or externalize, then damn it, who's fault is it?
Farzan Roshdieh
Education is only important to the educated and those who can't get it. The ones in the process of getting it think it's stupid. I don't need to tell you how ironic that is.
Kai Gordon
Hindsight is a view of the arse-end of historical blunder
Jack Benlow
Have doubt all of the time. If you're smart, you'll work to defy yourself.
Kai Gordon
Character is the ability to accept your own stupidity.
Scott Kessinger
I forgot:
I forgot that I forgot.
peter krowina
When making your point, make sure it isn't blunt
Ryan Lake
When the sun is hot and the sky is clear our spirits follow the natural example.
Graeme Outerbridge
Optimism is naivety only to those incapable of optimism.
Beccy Roberts
A great many problems in the world could be solved by just a little bit of empathy.
Beccy Roberts
To do is what to do to do what to see.
Ebrahim Ismail
If thinking is easy - why don't more people subscribe to it?
Pandora Shallcross
One of the greatest misconceptions in modern society is that being a cynic makes you clever.
Beccy Roberts
A little optimism never hurt anyone.
A little cynicism probably did.
Beccy Roberts
Ignorance is a product of laziness.
Beccy Roberts
Life is my enduring garden with each day a new bloom of unique essence.
James Geikie
This minute may be your last, so take a minute and make it last.
James Adams
Time is money.
Free time is happiness.
Spiros Karavas
Life is my enduring garden with each day a new bloom of unique essence.
James Geikie
Time is money.
Free time is happiness.
Spiros Karavas
Labour is rewarded in inverse proportion to its social value.
Jack Benlow
Psychoanalysis is political correctness gone mad.
Glenn Kennedy
an aphorism is an aphorism is an aphorism - or was that an aphid?
Bill Hegan
Courtesy of my little brother: "The square root of 1 is the same as the square root of Pi and if you don't know that then you are a gas station."
Venu Mattraw
I am who I am who I am who am I?
Tanner McCuin
You scan the Internet a lot, because your looking for something more.
Brent DeBique
Religion is an aid to coping with the realisation that you are the only person you will ever be.
John Connell
Now is a gift, thats why it is called the present. To be fully enjoyed it must be unwrapped from the mistakes and guilt of the past and the worries of the future.
By Unknown
Heather Giles
between heaven and earth there is the rain
joe taxi
Cynicism is the saddest form of aphorism
George Holland Hill
There is nothing 'special' about the food the chef has too much of and needs to get rid of fast
Dee Brophy
Did I grow out of Magic? Did it grow out of Me?
Melanie Lenz
A pen may be mightier than the sword, but that does not stop a biro bleeding.
Abby Jackson
"If it smells like shit wherever you go, check your own shoes."
Disclaimer: I read this on a website a few months ago and adopted it as being particularly appropriate to my current life situation. Although I had never seen or heard it before, and haven't seen it anywhere since, it's not actually mine and so I can't honestly take the credit for it.
This probably disqualifies me from winning! But in any case I thought it was too good not to pass on.
Jason
Jason Handby
Courtesy of Einstein "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources"
Caroline Johnson
I have a theory about everything including, erm, why I have a theory about everything.
David Taylor
It is better to have strawberries and cream than to have a dog chewing at your privates
David Taylor
It is what it is,enough said.
Bryan chan
Keep it stupid simple.
Karl James
"I used to be deep, but now I'm drained"
Sally Child
"Illusion is the first of all pleasures"
—Dr. Hugo Heyrman
Dr. Hugo Heyrman
There's nothing that can be said which is not improved by the satisfactory varnish of sarcasm
John Holt
Hold it tightly, or let go.
M. Highwater
A dog's bark is music to the ears of its owner in the same way that a fart is ambrosia to the nose of its creator
Jack Benlow
The best time to start was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
Kelly Shaw
Twentieth pupil of the centuries knows its stuff and bird-changed this century like Jesus climbs the sky.
Kelly Shaw
Belief is the oil that greases the gears of the universe
James Kilmury
We suffer our way to wisdom.
Yelena k
Life happens.
Taylor Dacko
Either we learn to live with death, or we learn to live forever.
Michele Moody
One of the most precious human abilities we share is the ability to wonder.
Rosali P
What you don't know can hurt you.
Rosali P
What the eyes see and the ears hear, the mind believes.
Rosali P
If you keep turning left when the road forks, you'll eventually travel in a big fucking circle.
Drew Kalm
The last minute is worth at least an hour.
Sophie Howarth
“True love isn’t about finding the right person. It is realizing you already ARE the right person”
Jennifer Dunn
Forgiveness is the most foolish and contrary of empathetic human acts if it consists of pretending that something that has happened hasn't.
Connor C
When the familiarity that was once love becomes restless...familiar tales are told.
Jacqueline Oliver
In changing your mind, so can your mind change you.
Jacqueline Oliver
Your days, hours and minutes can be changed in a second; Have you the time?
Jacqueline Oliver
How can your capacity to love be boundless when your capacity is often measured.
Jacqueline Oliver
On entering the sauna, Epictetus would have us anticipate the possibility of encountering a sweaty, tightly-pressed pack of hairy-arsed, beligerent fatheads whose pisshole eyes stare at us like the twin barrels of a loaded shotgun, and adopt a stoical attitude. Another option is to build a private sauna and invite only one's friends, which is the death of civil society.
Justin Ions
Fundamentalism is not a problem; rather it is the exclusive identification of all one's resources with the fundamental idea.
Justin Ions
That God made man in his own image is the best explanation for meaninglessness.
Justin Ions
To err is human; and that's why we're all so fond of one another.
Justin Ions
The only stupid questions are those we didn't ask.
Justin Ions
Don't fight with fools, they will bring you down to their level, and beat you at their own game.
Joseph Glapa
We go to school to prepare for work. We go to work to prepare to retire. We retire to prepare for death. When do we stop preparing and start living?
Corey Burns
Having your cake and eating it is not always the healthiest option.
Jacqueline Oliver
We do not have problems, only solutions
Simon Crumpton
In a big world with little people, how big is the little we know.
Jacqueline Oliver
Love is naked, but Love is also blind.
Ian Short
To wonder is a wonderful thing as long as the wondering is a wonderful wonder.
Jacqueline Oliver
Imagination. You can't imagine a life without it.
Jacqueline Oliver
I am me.
I am not you, us, them, they, or even we.
I am me, and that is all that I need to be.
Alix Court
Thinking about thinking can make you think your thinking is unthinkable. Think about it.
Jacqueline Oliver
Yes, have your cake and eat it, but it's not always the healthiest option.
Jacqueline Oliver
If it's been done once, It definitely could be done again. It's weather or not it should be.
Tanya Edison
Smart at the thought: smarting makes you smarter.
Mark Vernon
The eye only sees what the mind allows it to see.
Beryl Alston
An un-fulfilling job can work wonders for the imagination.
Anonymous
It takes very few words to say too much.
thewoodforthetrees
Never criticise another man's washing up
Phil Bartlett
If me and you are being chased by a lion, I don't have to be faster than, the lion, I just have to be faster than you.
little andrew
(stolen from Kinky Friedman, I think), The light at the end of the tunnel is usually an oncoming train..
David W
Shit happens--with startling regularity.
Brenda Trickler
That about which we cannot speak we must pass over in silence. Unless, that is, we want tenure...
Ammon Allred
Good artist copy. Great artist steal.
Alex Deckard
Weather, you like it or not.
Morgan Phillips
Conscioussness: to see my nudity
Wilbert Tapia Meza
I'm a natural philosopher, but an unnatural scholar, which makes me pretty useless.
Anonymous
Pace Santayana: Those who do not study for History are condemned to repeat it. Those who did study are free to forget whatever they happened to learn.
Ammon Allred
It's when I most want to impress you, that I'm least able to feel I could.
Dan Weir
Those who spend childhood looking out of windows, spend adulthood looking into them.
Dan Weir
Never assume because it will make an ass out of u and me.
little andrew
Success is like a sauna, the higher you sit the more you'll sweat.
hidden persuader
When life's going well there's a service station every 5 miles. When it's not, you hope someone will help you off the hard shoulder.
little andrew
not mine, but Johann Goethe's: When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
t baxter
Forgiveness is the most daring human act: it consists in pretending that something that had happened had not.
Laura B
Girls are like a box of chocolates. All the good ones go first then you just left with strawberry creams.
little andrew
don't sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things
Anonymous
A pessimist is an optimist with experience.
P Clements
Aphorisms are like bad luck. They all come at once.
Kathryn Partridge
The objects of the intuition are neither true nor false. Rather, as a matter of guess-work, I would call them tentative. Philosophers who are overly concerned with truth think that this gives them an indirect, or hypothetical reference to truth. Those of us who pay more than lip-service to our age’s disillusionment take its tentativeness at face-value and would rather not resolve it back into truth. Those of us who also take Plato seriously also therefore think the Platonic soul hits at tentative entities, entities we would rather not see resolve into existence. We do not, however, hold their inexistence against them, since they are no less real than the soul that perceives them.
Ammon Allred
Whenever a discipline becomes increasingly sclerotic, it ought to start pretending as though it had no history. Writing aphorisms requires this sort of discipline.
Ammon Allred
When I was walking my dog, it occurred to me that the problem with ideas is that we suppose they hook up with something beyond themselves, even if we claim to be nominalists. It follows that a profound thought cannot strike us when we are walking our dog, because we are by definition only skimming the surface.
Ammon Allred
Speak the truth and fear no man.
Big R & CPT
A man with no children is like a tree with no leaves.
CPT & Big R
an old lady said it's turtles all the way down
Nicky Hirst
Why does my nose run and my feet smell?
SarahBean
The universe is in a constant state of beta.
eriksandall
The last minute contains at least an hour.
Sophie
Your pets only pretend to like you because they don't have opposable thumbs.
Tim Collins
When you can see light at the end of the tunnel , someone will send for more tunnel.
Anonymous
Despair will never get to you. But hope might.
Tim Collins
the present moment is the only moment when anything can be done about the previous or coming moment
joe 'big stuff' kelly
I believe the glass is half full. Of poison.
Tim Collins
We are all accountable, even those hiding behind luck.
Frances Jenkins
Money can't buy you happiness. But it can buy you a nicer chair to be unhappy on.
Tim Collins
LOOK UP AT THE SKY, YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE.
Mike Hughes
Art is shit Compared to love
Pen Paper (Pause)
All is not lost. Some is lost.
Pen Paper (Pause)
Sausages are like laws - they make fat cats fatter.
Dan Hulse
An optimist is an ill-informed cynic.
Dan Hulse
the flame of love attracts moths
adam Smith
When one door shuts, another one slams in your face.
Al Young
Children are a consolation for everything apart from having children
Anonymous Father of three
I believe in parallel universes. In another one I'm incredibly rich
Emily Thompson
Nothing is original but many things are copyrighted
Phil Teer
IN LOVE WE ARE POETS, IN MARRIAGE WE ARE PHILOSOPHERS.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov (1945 - )
Leonid Sukhorukov
TO ENTER PARADISE, AVOID IT IN LIFE.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov (1945 - )
Leonid Sukhorukov
AN APHORISM IS A ONE-LINE NOVEL.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov (1945 - )
Leonid Sukhorukov
LIFE IS THE DISTANCE BETWEEN DREAMS AND REALITY.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov (1945 - )
Leonid Sukhorukov
Money grows on trees. That's why there's less of it every passing day.
Jack Benlow
We are what we are; the challenge is to be more than we have been.
G Sulea
Love without friction is fiction.
Chris Baker
I am whirling in a chaotic dance called bipolar disorder, and I am as lost as unused particles from the Big Bang.
Elizabeth Mills