All Aphorisms
A list of all aphorisms, newest appear at the top.
You must be a child in order to grow.
Maria Shao
A woman's day is never over: they've got to get up in the mornings to do it.
Vlad Volvos
In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in an clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.
Mahatma Gandhi
* World’s local congratulations to all women in The International Women’s Day!
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
People are less complicated than they think they are. They are also more complicated than we think they are.
enira arvanda
The places you've been in your imagination are places you've never been.
marty rubin
* Where there are no boders, there is still a horizon.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Design is thought, Art is delivery.
Design not to hide but to show, not the best but what is real, not anything only what matters not to you but to everything you leave behind
Ameen Roayan
*Glimpses through the door of the future that you seek makes you weak.(revision)
Cory Leader
Glimpses of the future through the door make you weak. Not knowing what you seek make you stronger than the meak.
Cory Leader
Strength is what you make of it.
Drew Byrne
Once I fell down a hole. The only thing I thought was : shit!
kalheb karr
To die for an idea doesn't mean it's a good one
ben renaudini
How to be remembered: LIVE ABSOLUTELY, LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY, DIE TRAGICALLY.
Warren Draper
* Distorting mirrors correct the world.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Don’t sell your dreams without knowing what they cost.
Swami Raj
Men will fight so hard in all their lives, as death is only a heartbeat away.
Swami Raj
pride is a killer of any forward motion
Berette Macaulay
What is true only for a moment is truer than what's always true.
marty rubin
Tell the whole world your secret, but keep it from yourself.
marty rubin
Mind the GAP
Berette Macaulay
Your always too young,
Never too old.
sherna khambatta
It's not the people,
it's the system.
Stephanie Iacobacci
The fatal metaphor of progress, which means leaving things behind us, has utterly obscured the real idea of growth, which means leaving things inside us.
G. K. Chesterton
The best way out is always through.
Robert Frost
fear of mediocrity creates it.
Berette Macaulay
Most information is withheld mostly from those who most need it.
The Ghost in the Machine
After a while…time passes by…and you run after it.
Swami Raj
Selfish acts should never go unpublished.
Drew Byrne
* We'll all be there one day. So there we are.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
You live, you die; that’s all you’ve got to do.
Swami Raj
The surest path is not the straight line, but the dream.
Swami Raj
* The only trouble with competitors, is that each of them think that they are more intelligent than the other. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The trouble with thinking you are being clever, is that thinking it does not make it so much so.
Drew Byrne
He who is breathing needs no further proof.
marty rubin
No one understands the music, only the music understands.
marty rubin
An emerging intellectual is one who periodically examines himself for signs of nits.
Archie Pratt
* Self-criticism is the most welcome sign of cultural maturity. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
There is no I in team, but there is always one arsehole.
Anonymus Anonymous
* When lightning strikes, don’t wait up for thunder. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
where death walks, life sleeps
Fintan Moloney
T. CREW
IS F*CKING
IN HEAVEN.
tapoué crew
Once a teenager once one once new better, but once one didn’t know better than that.
Drew Byrne
Win, and you reap the fruits of your own personal victory; fail, and you fail all alone.
Drew Byrne
When you’ve nowhere left to go, you’ve already arrived.
Drew Byrne
You are not born bankrupt, you become one.
Bruce Kriger
During the global crisis a bank statement is the leading cause of impotence.
Bruce Kriger
Acrobatics is an art of defying gravity without breaking legs.p.
Bruce Kriger
Womanizer in a nunnery is like a bull in a china shop.
Bruce Kriger
Making ladies' man a faithful husband as hard as to lose hope to do so.
Bruce Kriger
How many wonderful thoughts were lost because of inattentive listeners?
Bruce Kriger
Aphorism is a test for slow thinkers.
Bruce Kriger
My life is like a 21 year long music video on mtv
Scott Butler
Never ASSUME, for it will make an ASS out of YOU and make ME laugh my head off.
Drew Byrne
And there
Amidst the waves and the cloudless skies
That blanket the year before
I watch my life wash ashore
Tim McIlrath
The world is what you think it is.
(Serge Kahili King)
Hans J. Walter
How many times do you have to make a stupid mistake before you realize that that's the way to do it, stupid?
Drew Byrne
Between the bark and the tree, do not put your finger.
danielle ahanda
When all else fails, Quit.
Cory Leader
Delayed gratification: Something you are prepared to wait for, provided that, if you want some more, it is always on offer later.
Rick Bayan
After witty-wit comes a tweeting-twit!
Yzarc Tibbar
What can you do when you don’t know what to do? I don’t know!
Archie Pratt
There are no simple solutions to imaginary problems.
marty rubin
When lightning strikes, write it down.
marty rubin
One’s own stupidity doesn’t have to be thought about too much, but it does need to be done properly to be accomplished well.
Drew Byrne
The subtle point that you have missed cannot be all that important to you, until that time when it comes up and whacks you in the face with it’s alacrity.
Drew Byrne
Predicting one’s fate is much easier than changing it.
Bruce Kriger
Clever people do not believe horoscopes, they make them.
Bruce Kriger
Nothing hurts imagination of the architect as the greed of his client.
Bruce Kriger
Stupidity of the military is rarely compensated by the beauty of their uniforms.
Bruce Kriger
"Only the fools confuse the burden of his stupidity with the weight of the responsibility."
—Pascual Candel Palazon, Spanish poet and writer.
Nathan Ditko
"Books are my temple ...that's why you will find me at the bar."
—Pascual Candel Palazon, Spanish poet and writer.
Nathan Ditko
"Man's destiny is remembering women that forgot him..."
—Pascual Candel Palazon, Spanish writer.
Nathan Ditko
Gossip = not respecting that person.
Scott Stevens
Life: a place where your dinner goes cold while you’re eating it, but you’re supposed to enjoy it anyway.
Drew Byrne
* The king's fool has the whole Kingdom under his cap. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
There is wisdom in knowing what you need to know, and being wise enough to keep it to yourself.
Anonymus Anonymous
You only learn by doing something the hard way, only if you learn how not to do it the easy way.
Drew Byrne
Never lose sight of what makes you happy!
so.ba Propaganda
People shall always need to be put in their place occasionally, or else they usually wouldn’t quite know exactly where to stand.
Drew Byrne
This life of ours has always been the competitive environment; while the rat race is simply a new twist in the monkey’s tale.
Drew Byrne
If you can begin by asking a question to get an answer, then any answer you receive can be an answer you can begin to question.
Drew Byrne
When everything is a joke nothing is funny.
marty rubin
Sometimes I think, Sometime I don't
Art Arao
* It's easier to kill time than to stop it. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* It's easier ti kill time than to stop it. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. John Lennon
Pauline Pfirrmann
Nice people are naive, guess it's time to be an arsehole.
Cory Leader
It's difficult to be even-handed when you just don't feel like it, but then you're probably not up to it anyway.
Jake Tankard
I'm not afraid that my life will end, on the contrary I'm afraid it will never start
Amber Gonelli
Viagra reduced the sales of large cars.
Bruce Kriger
We're all looking for redemption.
Narciso Dias
Some days you eat the bear; some days the bear eats you.
S G
Do justice, love mercy, walk humbly. Sometimes it's that simple. It's always that difficult.
Chloe Zaffini
Proving the obvious is not easy to do.
marty rubin
If everything went wrong that could go wrong, that'd be a perfect day.
marty rubin
Why so many of us a million years ago purposely knocked out major chunks of our brains with alcohol from time to time remains an interesting mystery. It may be we were trying to to give evolution a shove in the right direction -- in the direction of smaller brains.
Kurt Vonnegut
Reflect on this...I am not here.
Goggle-eyed pea-brain
God doesn’t matter because God has his own justification.
Swami Raj
Either way all you need is a strong spirit.
Olga
Olga Alexandrova
* Nobody can predict the direction of a rolling stone, but everyone knows where it will come to rest. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Its hard to keep your chin up when you have a heavy head.
Kevin Bacon
Selfless acts should never go unpunished.
Drew Byrne
To attack someone with a lie is disgraceful; to attack him with the truth is much worse.
Drew Byrne
The past life is kind of sad; you’ll know it when you see it.
Swami Raj
The temptation of roads. Every one leads somewhere away from here.
marty rubin
The rain that falls wherever it pleases. I want to be that rain.
marty rubin
Lack of the right information is the greatest lack of all.
Drew Byrne
* The British sun is always raining.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Truer words have not been spoken when there’s nothing to be said.
Drew Byrne
Share ideas and live forever.
Anis Bengiuma
The best things in life aren't things.
Lu Farah
The funniest joke in the world is the one that you may not find so funny after all...
Drew Byrne
S.O.B.E.R.
Son Of a B**ch Everything's Real
-Gary Busey-
Cory Leader
Realizing reality is hard to realize.
Chris White
* There are no miracles, but we all dream of them.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
You can't dissect anything, not even a dream, without killing it.
marty rubin
Who can make people laugh has an absolute advantage, over those who can make them cry.
- Bruce Kriger
Bruce Kriger
Faith is as natural as the need to breathe, to love, to dream.
- Bruce Kriger
Bruce Kriger
There are those who turn lies into truth and the truth into lies, until the difference remains the same to the perceptive fellow.
Drew Byrne
What can be done with the one who knows too much other than to give him his due?
Drew Byrne
What is too much of anything? Too much of anything is a lie!
Swami Raj
The group is the soup in which the lobster boils as it swims.
Anonymous
Joe Cool
* You'll never finish your journey if you meet everyone half way. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If you consider that you really know how it is, have you told anybody your secret yet?
Drew Byrne
You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be.
Chuck Palahniuk
It is fair to say that when you have been made an example of, then you have become the example.
Drew Byrne
* Never look for the light at the end of the tunnel in the middle of the night. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
(The alternative sort of a solution)
Leonid Sukhorukov
Solutions often mask the fact that there is no problem.
marty rubin
The way I see it, I got three choices. One, I can shoot him. Two, I can kick the crap out of him. Or three, I leave you. Well, all that's no good. You see, 'cause none of those options get me you.
Lon Hammond Jr.
Wear me for a reason and NEVER be quite about me.
Promise Ring
Sometime around midnight or until the day I die, my life will be seen for all on Feb. 5th 2010.
John Tyree
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. - Charlie Brown -
Julius Seizer
It’s a sad world; just try not to be sad yourself.
Swami Raj
“These then are my last words to you. Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.” - William James -
Julius Seizer
Never plant a sapling, for you are in the moment.
Ed Risbey
Work first, then Relax.
James Versteegen
Be the shepherd, not the sheep.
James Versteegen
Play your cards right and I'll do exactlly what you tell me to.
Julius Seizer
The experience of a broken heart is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.
Cory Leader
* The hottest point on earth is always between the poles.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Sometimes the background is the most aesthetically pleasing thing to view/hear.
Cory Leader
I've grown fond of playing second fiddle in the background of life.
طالب Talib
In dreams and stories we rearrange our lives.
marty rubin
When you have a long way to go that is just the beginning...
Swami Raj
A man has to be what he is – you can’t break the mould.
Swami Raj
I am not a robot
Zainab Noor
Men of different nationalities are like dogs of different breeds ... despite whatever predispositions, a good dog is a good dog, and a bad dog is a bad dog
Zainab Noor
Zeus is a god and I am a dog.
طالب Talib
My only true vice is you, how foolish.
Julius Seizer
Money can't buy you happiness, but atleast you can choose your misery
Zainab Noor
If God wanted you to smoke, he would have put a chimney on top of your head ~ Grandpa McDonagh
Zainab Noor
If everything is meant to be, there is no such thing as magic
Zainab Noor
Beats are to body as lyrics are to soul ~ Zainab
Zainab Noor
To say the mind comes from the brain is indisputable, but I prefer to qualify the statement and consider the reasons why the brains neuron's behave in such a thoughtful manner ~ Damasio, 1994
Zainab Noor
When in doubt ... move a pawn ~ Zainab
Zainab Noor
Tomarrow is promised to nobody
Zainab Noor
Good health is a light grace; it is forgotten when found and mentioned when missing ~ Imam Ali
Zainab Noor
Debt is grief by night and humility by day ~ Imam Ali
Zainab Noor
Life is to rent a house and buy bread
Zainab Noor
Too much trivial information lets you seek more easily for a satisfying lack of it.
Drew Byrne
“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.” - David Harkins -
Julius Seizer
The answer is already evidently clear The omnipresent Uncle will have your hand and wear your ring.
Julius Seizer
I looked in the mirror today and I saw the shell of a man that once was grand. His his ego was battered and bruised but EPOH was still present.
Julius Seizer
Lying is like committing suicide, you've killed your character.
Julius Seizer
Everything has its tax, the tax of knowledge is to other people ( Every generation has its dependency ... I'm from the spell check generation ) >.<
Zainab Noor
The most favorable friend to me is that who shows me my flaws
Zainab Noor
Everything has its task, the tax of knowledge is to other people
Zainab Noor
You don't miss the water till the well runs dry
Zainab Noor
Do not answer those who speak before they greet you
Zainab Noor
Repetition gets the message across to the fresh-faced indignant—but why bother starting with them?
Drew Byrne
Fidelity is easier to keep at the complete absence of nearby persons of the opposite sex.
Bruce Kriger
People suffer from blind faith in their non-blindness.
Bruce Kriger
There is nothing less reassuring, than excessive self-confidence.
Bruce Kriger
I once complained I had no shoes ... Until I met a woman with no feet >.<
Zainab Noor
The innocent lack insight, The guilty lack purity, To obtain pure insight is truely a blessing ~ Zainab
Zainab Noor
To be humble is to take less than you need and to give more than you have
Zainab Noor
Eat Less, Speak Less, Sleep Less ... Have More Patience
Zainab Noor
If you are incapable of having a decent relationship with your brother in humanity, what makes you think you are capable of having a decent relationship with God
~ Zainab Noor
Zainab Noor
Women think they know everything , Men pretend they do ~ Zainab
Zainab Noor
Patience is for those who wait
Zainab Noor
No man wants a woman poked more than a pin cusion ~ Know what I mean Jelly Bean ? 2010 answers ~ huh?
Zainab Noor
Every great oak tree was once just a little nut who stood his ground
Zainab Noor
If " IF's " and " BUT's " were candy and nuts ... what a wonderful world it would be ... But mom! If Only ... >.<
Zainab Noor
Whether we like it or not, we should be happy. Whether we know it or not, we ARE happy.
Jaden Walker
I am very curious person, but apparently not curious enough to commit a suicide.
Olga Alexandrova
If your life hits a brick wall, walk right through.
marty rubin
If your life hits a brick wall, walk right thriugh.
marty rubin
If you can’t give and take, you can’t take without being arrested.
Drew Byrne
Besides from the fact that words are very unnecessary, they also fail to convey the weight and authority of an individual, due to their discrete form and nature.
sevkan ariburnu
Safety - is the most dangerous illusion.
Bruce Kriger
The best way to get rid of the fantasies is get them fulfilled.
Bruce Kriger
Good lie needs no proof.
Bruce Kriger
* There is no absurd opinion that some of us can’t help expressing. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* A cat which has been in the bag too long becomes a rat.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Opinions are like arseholes: everybody has one and they always go off when least expected.
Drew Byrne
I'm just trying to "out-do" the last post. Their hasn't been anything worth reading here since the "...Illuminating God's face." post. But hey what I know this is just an opinion and opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.
Cory Leader
Where then is the exit if you have to get in to get out?
Drew Byrne
Even if you ate a giant, you will not become one.
Bruce Kriger
Its better o be disillusioned than under an illusion
-can't remember where I first saw this but its SO true!
Bex Shaw
I'm doing nothing today; don't interrupt me.
marty rubin
Life is a constant struggle against redundancy.
William Sunset
love is a struggle against your self.
sunwill rise
* The Tree of Knowledge grows stronger from weatherbeaten seeds. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Aphorism: a post-it note on the bedpost in the amnesiac ward of wisdom.
Peter Capofreddi
It’s always good to have pen and paper with you because you never know when you’ll get an autograph from inspiration.
Elaan Grassler
The difference between being in the groove
And being in a rut
Is how long you've been there.
Tee Fred
Words of wisdom: food for thought that shows you it’ll all come out right in the end.
Drew Byrne
Buddha knows nothing
But only in fleeting moments
soul Beckett
The difference between being blessed or cursed is whether you're thankful for what you have, or resent what you don't.
Jim Adams
Pinocchio learned to tell tall tales to the puppet master, because the truth hurt his little wounded heart.
Alfonso Capone
* When you light a candle for someone, you illuminate God's face. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A puppet whose strings got cut learned to walk all on its own.
marty rubin
* Our diseases are so old fashioned, they can't keep up with the new medicines. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Medicine has made a huge step forward. It decided that if a patient is sick or dies - this is fine, because how many more remain healthy?
Bruce Kriger
LIfe is a constant battle against futility.
Olivia Rowland
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you... stranger
from Twitter
Tiphereth Gloria
Democracy was invented to ensure that under any circumstances, polititions can cry out to the people: "It's your own fault!"
Bruce Kriger
The Hole is greater than the sum of it's parts.
Moses Murphy
The conflict between career and family is a myth, it is a conflict within yourself.
Bruce Kriger
Every line is the perfect length if you don't measure it.
marty rubin
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Kate Garner
* A shipwreck will occur when the captain knows everythimg, but the crew doesn't. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Forgeting your ambitions make life meaningless, forgeting your life for the sake of ambitions make them meaningless.
Bruce Kriger
Depression is highly contagious.
Bruce Kriger
Not surprisingly, faith in God is literally encoded in our genes. Guess Who coded them?
Bruce Kriger
An atheist is like a man who does not want to buy insurance.
Bruce Kriger
If Columbus had not discovered America, it would not attack Iraq.
Bruce Kriger
Belief in the immortality of the soul is needed for a man to remain human.
Bruce Kriger
Order is what exists before you start arranging things.
marty rubin
* Doctors cure Nature's mistakes with mistakes of their own. Leonid S. Sukhorukov.
Leonid Sukhorukov
Nothing lasts as long as the present moment.
Bruce Kriger
Times are changing - the debts remain.
Bruce Kriger
Choosing a bride, always look at her ex-husband.
Bruce Kriger
Damage caused by doctors, can only be compared with the damage caused by their absence.
Bruce Kriger
If God wanted to arrange the universe in any other way, he would certainly do so.
Bruce Kriger
For some events God simply forgot to invent the reasons.
Bruce Kriger
* May each twist and turn of our destiny be a zigzag of luck! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
P.S.: Happy New Year to all!
Leonid Sukhorukov
What are the rules when you're not playing?
marty rubin
Every New Year there’s another day to start again; it’s tomorrow, don’t miss it!
Jojo Juju
* The roads to wisdom are paved with skulls. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Someone will read this and like it. Yet another example of supernaivety.
Kristina Mangov
The strongest form of dependence is being a slave to one`s prejudices.
Kristina Mangov
Don’t save a drop from the ocean when the ocean is so full.
Swami Raj
It’s easy to be philosophical when it’s some other poor sod that’s short of blood.
Swami Raj
* The wider you smile at your troubles, the easier it is to swallow them. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Some people should keep quiet. When talking, they strip words of their meanings.
Kristina Mangov
Accepted aphorisms are certain past events.
Rejected aphorisms are future certain events.
Kristina Mangov
* Once a woman has given you her heart, there is less room left for your own. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
It's a new day, it's a new dawn, it's a new life, when you're feeling fine.
Joe Palooka!
Life is...a love that has to be enough for a lifetime.
Kristina Mangov
Love shows that folly is not alien to the wisest.
Kristina Mangov
Dreams that scare us wake us up.
marty rubin
WAKE UP OR DIE.
Emma Ballentyne
We spend a greater part of our lives fighting evil without even realizing it.
Kristina Mangov
There is a genius resting in everyone. Unfortunately, that rest lasts too long.
Kristina Mangov
* Progress is the evolution of dogmas.
Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The essence of progress is anomaly
Steven Monteray
Vices of real world are virtues of movies.
s.a
sevkan ariburnu
All’s well that ends well with a life that’s rounded with a smile.
Drew Byrne
What’s the difference between a fucker and a screwer? It’s a question of emphasis.
Swami Raj
You win! – All else is loss! Now that’s direction isn’t it?
Swami Raj
It isn’t in the plan to not make it work due to the lack of right information.
Swami Raj
i love gmail; it has a delete forever button.
sevkan ariburnu
Success reveals how little ambition is worth.
marty rubin
…so many mistakes…so little time to do them...
chris chronos
* Success magnifies hidden vices. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Enthusiasm paves the way to success, but can you live with it?
Drew Byrne
...When I look upward, I earn time. When I look forward, I utilise time. When I look inward, I save time. When I look backward, I waste time. Sri Chimnoy
Leonid Sukhorukov
Time is relative, the passing of time absolute.
marty rubin
To accept what you are not is even easier than not accepting what you are.
Drew Byrne
The good thing is: we have only one flaw.
The bad thing is: it gives rise to all the rest.
Kristina Mangov
Each of us two could kill love even if they don`t aim straight...
Kristina Mangov
* A mask is prepared to face anything. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
HE IS SO DEPRIVED OF PERSONALITY THAT EVEN THE MASK HE WEARS CAN NOT CONCEAL THAT...
Kristina Mangov
LOVE GETS TWICE AS DECEITFUL ONCE WE BELIEVE IN ITS OMNIPOTENCE.
Kristina Mangov
The best of us can always put on "that happy face": that smile among equals.
Drew Byrne
THE OTHERS THOUGHT HE WAS DUMB; IN FACT HE HAD LONG AGO TOLD EVERYTHING...
Kristina Mangov
Your best friend is a screwer, and your best friend is you.
Swami Raj
The first mistake: thinking you’re more important than others. The second mistake: thinking that should make a difference to what you do.
joe quaqkwy
Weakness in man is abhorrent to woman, as it makes her eggs turn sour.
Defined Dunroamin'
When you wake up, you never know what will happen next.
marty rubin
* You never understand a point until you fail to explain it to a child. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
# Speed of light - save energy and turn it off
# Love - a parallel gravity
# Ego - a state of universal paranoia
Pandora Shallcross
The version of a fact is more important than the fact itself.
Augusto Sales
Indifference is what you get for the sake of indifference; being buggered for it is what you get for being indifferent around a cynic.
Archie Pratt
if you restrict your personality, you can get anything you want.
Scott Butler
Normality is overrated.
so is abnormality.
sevkan ariburnu
Obligation is a strong thing, but you can refuse it and it’ll die on you...
Swami Raj
If you don’t want your wife to have your bollocks put them in trust.
Swami Raj
Somebody who wishes to act well for himself with a bit of mendacity must also know that it won’t leave a stain on a devious character…
Drew Byrne
"The game" is a foot Watson!
Freddie Neatzeist
“The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.” Friedrich Nietzsche
Leonid Sukhorukov
Never join two things that would be happier apart.
marty rubin
* A good aphorism bridges the walls that divide people. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The game is like my dick, long and hard.
Scott Butler
If you want to hurt person the most, tell him/her i love you and don't mean it.
Olga Alexandrova
The problem with stupid choices is that in the most of the time they are the most enjoyable.
Olga Alexandrova
Even the sweetest chocolate goes bad one day and so do our relationships.
Olga Alexandrova
What you earn you can keep, but that’s no justification as to why it should be yours.
Swami Raj
* The poor are led by want, the rich by whim. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Handing one's troubles over to God makes sense even to an atheist.
marty rubin
Now what you need is money, with money you can afford to be happy.
Swami Raj
If ever you're out looking for a good answer, at least you can't be that silly.
Jojo Juju
Stationary Rooms make for profitable sub-businesses when organised correctly. Ensure to keep stocked up on blank DVDs and batteries
Clare Popham
Q: If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
A: You are already an animal.
Phil Bartlett
At what point does a person become: old, unattractive or a failure?When they and others think so. Why not control 1/2 of your fate and influence the other 1/2? Remember, 70% is passing and its easy; just a smile and a twinkle in your eyes are worth at least 30%.
Henri Robert
Time screws everybody eventually.
Swami Raj
Remove yourself from the equation.
Sugiona Boylee
If you put tar on the roof it may fix the leak but don’t ask me if I want it for free.
Swami Raj
first aphorisms are difficult to write...
john Munson
* Truth is too complicated to remain unchanged. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Now that I no longer think I find words for all my thoughts.
marty rubin
Truth is stranger than fiction, but fiction is more honest.
Stephanie McAllister
stephanie mCALLISTER
It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.
Tyler Durden
Nostalgia is the last resort of the disallusioned
Mark Judge
Never put a frozen sausage on a hot grill.
Ms. Porkiez Piezies
* The richest man is the one who feels rich enough. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
If you ask enough questions people won’t like it, but you may eventually discover why they shove the dirt under the carpet to keep the house tidy.
Swami Raj
They say, "money doesn’t make you happy". It does make the poorer happy and the miserable happier.
Melinda Messenger
I doubt, therefore I think; I think therefore I am- Descartes
Tori Rowland
It’s easier to be cool with money than to be cool without money.
Swami Raj
If the world didn't suck so much we'd all fall of it.
meg addison
Up until the last moment it's okay to forget about death.
marty rubin
The day you run out of time, you won’t have the time to regret it either.
Drew Byrne
Life will bite your arse when you’re out looking for it, in its incarnation of death.
Swami Raj
The fool is led up the garden path by the nose not by another, but by his own foolishness.
The Wise One
Where there is light, there must also be shadows.
Lithuanian Proverb.
Anthony Packer
A discovered deceit is more insidious when you have deceived yourself into believing the ridiculous was true.
Jake Tankard
Diving head first into an empty pool only serves one purpose. Knowledge for the fool.
Cory Leader
An example of onanism in the boxes with Pamela is worth two in the hand at the pictures in Soho...
Anonymus Anonymous
Worse for wear?
I'm wearing it well.
Guy Danter
Love is not secondary.
Russell Sivey
* Practice kills theories. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Suppose a eunuch could describe an orgasm perfectly. Would that be compensation?
marty rubin
* You can't illuminate the world by burning yourself out. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Never go to a doctor in a black suite. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Seduction is half of the art of life: If you want to succeed at something on occasion you have to "pull it", not "push it".
Swami Raj
To believe in nothing can be quite convenient sometimes…
Swami Raj
The aphorism as "the only real open channel to worldly wisdom for humanity"? Surely, the gods were laughing when they made that one up!
Jocular Juvinal
The Wise One said, “A man alone is easy prey,” and it is also easier to get “buggered” there as well by party-poopers.
Jojo Juju
Similarity attracts; dissimilarity WE eat for lunch!
Jojo Juju
I am not a National Insurance Number, I am a free man!
NI No. ME 17 08 61 D
As Confucius said, "A man with a plugged-in telly sees many things." He must have been a visionary.
Low Tao
Joe Cool
"Push" and you shall find your limitations in no time!
Drew Byrne
Mother Mary, have mercy on us.
R. A.
You're walking, talking, feeling fine; given health, there's nothing better than money.
Swami Raj
My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?
Role Model
It's stupid not to be stupid sometimes.
marty rubin
your happy snowflake is like no other, its lost in the search of another.
tadhg mc cullagh
Who wants to better this world? This world isn’t meant to be bettered it’s meant to be lived with.
Swami Raj
It's so bad, its actually good.
Joyce Kung
What doesn’t belong to you, don’t cry about it; it’s not yours, it’s Gods.
Swami Raj
God is hope…that’s what people turn to.
Swami Raj
You need no diamonds to feel rich - when you can enjoy the sparkling sun on water
Renate Schaper-Stewart
Design the product to do the job!
Machine Man
God grant me the confidence to ignore my conscience at my convenience whenever I have the confidence to ignore it with impunity, even though I am still watching but nobody else sees me do it.
Nick Knock
When you realize how you make your mistcakes, you can make them better.
Drew Byrne
We're all crazy ... it's just a matter of degree.
Barbara Holmes
We're all drowning, but don't say it out loud.
marty rubin
Even at the library some sights are filtered for your convenience.
The Librarian
* Stop your watches! Let time fly! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* What is fog on the surface? Lots of water inside. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
My utopia: a bench facing the sun.
marty rubin
If you don't pay attention, it could cost you.
Steven Ingersoll
When pure light shines in a man's eyes is he not just as blind as if her were in darkness.
Steven Ingersoll
All this time spent working on my computer, only to find out that my computer has been working on me.
James Schneider
When all else fails, shoot yourself in the foot.
Cory Leader
no man is an island but some are incontinent
VALDA Rubio
Anyone can be miserable, if they work at it hard enough.
marty rubin
* Everything in life is temporal - and that’s eternal. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Hope is a temporary solution until a real solution comes along.
marty rubin
Sex should be like the Christian story of creation - man should come first.
Pardigan Start
Money may not buy happiness, but it can buy the best therapy.
Pardigan Start
* Hope gives us wings but doesn't teach us how to fly. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Hope shouldn't be printed on dollar bills.
Andrew Ashton
Openness is closeted from a darker corner.
Swami Raj
* The wider you smile today, the more expensive your plastic surgery tomorrow. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
A sense of humor is indispensable especially when you don't have one.
marty rubin
Almost anyone can come up with something witty and clever to say at least once in a while, but for him to continue to do so can be very annoying.
Drew Byrne
An afluence of tragedies, always means there is something good about to happen... So take a sit.
Camila Rous
How plain it is: to find out how stupid one is.
Dorf Knob Jr.
Whenever they burn one of the writers for free speech, they use his books as fuel.
Heimell Heinrich
Joe Cool
You think it really matters? Wait till tomorrow, you won't think so by then.
Josh Reyes
If you don’t know what you’re looking at, how do you find out what it is? If you can’t find out what it is, how do you know what you’re looking at?
Thiddlededum & Twiddlededee
Why get distracted by nothing, especially when you can be distracted by everything?
Drew Byrne
Things do not change- we change.
-Henry David Thoreau
R. A.
The F*ck-It Bucket: a bucket full of candy.
"when sh*t brings you down, just say 'f*ck it', and eat yourself some motherf*cking candy."
- 'Me Talk Pretty One Day'/ David Sedaris
R. A.
It has always been that failure is so much more interesting than success, but is not something to be taken so lightly.
Toby Philpots
^ The best lies are served after good meals. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Casual conversation is all chin-chin-waggy, eye-eye-waggy, and wanky-wanky-waggy—and don’t let anybody tell you different!
Swami Raj
The best lie is easily told honey on the tongue.
Anonymus Anonymous
There are only two kinds of people in this world, those who consider and those who calculate with the rest of them.
Antipasties .
Nobody likes to see the crap on the carpet...
Swami Raj
I wish I knew now what I'm gonna know then.
Gee Dee
The golden rule kicks all the other tin-pot rules in the face with a boot full of gilt-edged securities.
Kilt Boy
* Family life is the constant fight for coexistence within incompatibility. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When, despite every care, you are pushed inexorably down the line to your final destination – you should have thought to get off at Waterloo.
Journeyman Barber magazine
A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her.
-Oscar Wilde
R. A.
Why ask the name of a man who will destroy the world? Just to know 1 of many who have been doing so.
Cy Zero
How small human beings look next to their ideals. But it's really the ideals that are small.
marty rubin
Time slips by, and by it slips.
James Tremain
Image is everything; substance has nothing to do with it.
Anonymus Anonymous
Cynicism is great; censorship is greater.
Trilby Tippa
* The uncertainty of a professional is more certain than the certainty of an amateur. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Everything is worth precisely what you want to pay for it.
greek fella!
A proverb unsaid is wisdwom wasted.
Melvin Burgess
Everything has a price – even the unpriceable.
Drew Byrne
Sometimes biting your own tongue can save your face.
Cory Leader
Why ask the raindrop why it falls or the dog why it howls at the moon? Just fly little fellow – fly!
Swami Raj
The obvious is not so obvious when a mistake has been made because of it.
Drew Byrne
* Obstacles create opportunities. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Changing your opinion is making the same mistake all over again.
marty rubin
It’s not every day you get stranded in the present.
lauren oh
I didn’t notice what was there about life: it passes.
Swami Raj
The caterpillar is the butterfly's disguise.
marty rubin
* The eternal question: how to put an end to what one should not begun? Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* The indifferent miss out on life. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Indifference is the key to all human understanding, as it sharpens the point and brings it home.
Drew Byrne
What is a friend? One who comes in adversity without pretence.
Secret Squirrel
You can be a very clever man, although still not a very wise one.
Magda Goebbels
To be courageous is to be defiant, but to be defiant is not always courageous. Find your courage to defy your odds and dead ends.
David Karam
* No matter how long you teach a fool, he still knows everything. - Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Leonid S. Sukhorukov and marty rubin “spank the monkey” around here way too often to be healthy…once a month is good enough for any man.
Joe Cool
Nothing and everything have at least one thing in common.
Hannes Couvreur
* Life is a constant round of laughing and crying. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Life is a constant round of laughing and crying. Leonid S. Sukhgorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Always do what you want - it's not worth doing anything else.
Jake Tankard
If you can't party with the one you love, you can't love the one you party with.
Gina Maggio
If you ever need a helping hand, they'll give you "the monkey's paw".
Drew Byrne
Thank heaven we are all expendable and free to go our own way.
marty rubin
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. ~ George Bernard Shaw
Ann babic
If you don’t know what “an ordinary life” is, you certainly haven’t got one.
Monty Don
Invention is like migration - it holds the desires of the new along with all the fears of the unknown!
michael 1p.com.au
* Everything looks more shiny on a darker surface. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Good friends are like lobsters: if you boil them alive for dinner they scream for mercy.
Annie, get your gun.
I like deadlines. It's the wonderful swooshing sound they make as they rush by.
Sennsha Denby
Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.
Annie Clarke
Give me “the edge” any day, as any other day its all just “fried green tomatoes”!
Mark Ashton
Don’t forget to think before you’d think to have thunk!
Joe Cool
Beware of those who aren't content with soup and bread.
marty rubin
I’ve never yet seen a confirmed optimist who’d not be better off thinking of himself as a bit of a pessimist at heart.
Archie Pratt
How to think fast: understand what eats you first.
Mustafa Kamel
STAY CALM AND CARRY ON
WWII
J Center
All art is relative...relative to how much money you can make out of it.
puddin' face
sometimes pretending not to care is worse than not caring.
Kaitlyn Cares
If you can eventually manage to see the light at the end of the tunnel, it would still have been much safer to take the ferry.
Archie Pratt
If you see a light at the end of the tunnel -
pray it's not a train.
David Kretz
There are only 3 types of people.
Those who can count and those who can't.
David Kretz
There are only 10 different types of people.
Those who can read binary and those who can't.
David Kretz
Understanding WHY you do something crazy does not make you cease doing it.
Elizabeth Sullivan
After your first mistake, your balls will drop (unless, of course, you happen to be a woman).
Archie Pratt
Mistakes are punishable by another try.
marty rubin
What is more important than learning how to do something? Learning how not to do it.
Swami Raj
* Mistakes can be logical, ideological or pathological. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Boredom is a time of refreshment.
marty rubin
Mistake neither an aphorist for a wise man nor a wise man for an aphorist.
Drew Byrne
Heaven is something to threaten little boys with when they wet the bed.
Damon Daemon
* Life is measured not in time but by the memory of special moments. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When time runs out on you—you should have known better!
Andrew Grant
look in the mirror to find the key to the world. look in the mind to find the key to the universe
Jayéswara yogi
* God made women beautiful. The devil made some of them too clever. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Those who have nothing to say have lots to tell. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
When the same words mean different things to you later, haven’t you just missed the point?
Andrew Grant
Accepting the inevitable, is not inevitable.
Buddy Blank
Wisdom too can be a drug and rob you of your spirit.
marty rubin
Only boring people get bored.
Tamara Komuniecki
* A little foolishness saves us from the boredom of perfection. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Live like your dead.
Ayo Folarin
Why, every relationship ever made is composed of a first step that setp may be a one night stand, a pat on the back, simple handshake, but if that relationship is solid it will have its cracks, and dry patches, and eventually become good again, but if it is simply just a hoax then it will seem like smooth sailing, until you hit the bramuda triangle of relationships, and then your left drowning with nothing, but three points to save you, which in life are death, suffering, or courage, the courage to stand up and realize that the person that just did that is a complete and total ass, simply smile and walk away.
Emilee O'hara
When it comes down to testilying in court, the truth is never quite good enough.
Drew Byrne
Live is just evil spelled backwards
hmmmmmm nope cant do it
Live is just evil spelled backwards
hmmmmmm nope cant do it
Zen: the calm in the chaos - cool!
Swami Raj
Trial and error: how the “smart monkey” always gets caught “at it”.
Rob Dillon
You can't swim in a sea of symbols, but you can drown there.
marty rubin
Out of ignorance or expediency we give all snowflakes the same name.
marty rubin
If you have not by nature a critical mind your staying here is useless.
Gurdjieff
Joe Cool
If you want meaning in life – go and read a book. But even that takes up time, as everything takes up time – even a crap!
Swami Raj
Don’t you worry too much about the dead and dying, as they’ve found a way out of the “locked room scenario” by squeezing through the keyhole.
Jack Thaed
* Truth is straight. Life curves. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
We relish home truths, as long as the home isn't ours.
Reginald Oliver
Many are called, and refuse to go.
marty rubin
Sex is like war. The more effective it is, the more screaming you'll hear.
Sami Douba
When you say, “A woman’s scorn is more deadlier than the male’s…” Well, that’s worth remembering for the future!
The Porcupine Kid & The One-Eyed Batman.
Lethargy…something to poke you with?
Beanbag baby
Because I took the sun for granted it smiled on me.
marty rubin
I will always regard it as a minor tragedy that goodness and whimsy are not survival traits.
Rick Bayan
Joe Cool
Sometimes I am determined; sometimes I just want to sleep.
savanna puckett
Do be bold as brass, because brass sounds bell-like in your shell-like and has a natural resonance with your spirit.
Jojo Juju
I have a little
Nom de plume;
I keep it in
A little cupboard—
In my mind,
Where my ego is the key,
And feed it little pearls
Of wisdom
Through the keyhole;
But never, never should
I ever,
Invite it home for tea!
Seamas Dally
When, after all, everything has been said,
Failure can be so much more interesting
Than success.
Seamas Dally
Nostalgia or reality? Pick your poison.
Lily Voltaire
Oi! Oi! When you’re weakened you will be attacked; when you’re strong you will be opposed; which outcome is preferable?
Archie Pratt
Like all novel ideas without a wide enough base, The Daily Aphorism will inevitably fade away…such is life…what will be will be…the inevitable always occurs inevitably…
John Smith
Perhaps Love is like An ocean full of conflict, full of pain, and if that is i'm a hydophobic, so i wont drown in the sea of love
Emilee O'hara
Utter defeat: nine-tenths more interesting than the average victory.
Archie Pratt
What a pity it is to find out that you're just another customer, wherever you go, whatever you do.
Archie Pratt
Everything is false!
Tilly Vadim
Proverbs: the unwritten laws of how to be and how to see.
Michael Castro
Joe Cool
The sincere handshake—the first weapon of self-defence for any man, but one that had better not be his last.
Drew Byrne
the only thing you can't change is the past, the only thing you can change is the future
joe schmo
I like dogs that bark a little. The silent ones scare me.
marty rubin
Chivalry may be dead, but it's still kind of cute.
Sam Fitzpatrick
* Beware of the man who doesn’t work hard to learn something… Beware of parasites! Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Practice kills theories. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
* Real knowledge is everything we don't know. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Let there be limits to your cleverness, lest you become a fool while you’re at it.
Drew Byrne
I've been watching paint dry for years, now it's time to wallpaper over it.
Richard Slade
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Joe Cool
The whole point, or heart, of the aphorism lies in brevity with generalization, idiosyncrasy amid un-connectedness—so, this isn’t one of "those" then.
Mambo Mickey
Confuscious say: I'm dead! For crying out loud, let me rest in peace and figure it out yourself.
Because face it, one of these days my koans are going to be useless to you and you'll encounter a situation so unique and intense that these little words will seem like a joke. It won't do any good see? It'll just hurt more, see? Like pouring gasoline in a wound. So on that day, don't look to the words of almighty confuscious, because you gotta wing it. It's the only thing you can really do.
Confuscious say: think for yourself.
casey young
Trust someone, and the world will tear you to pieces.
Trust nobody, and your mind will do it for you.
casey young
Truth is like the speed of light. The closer we get, the more work it takes. We'll never quite "get there".
casey young
Truth is like the speed of light. The closer we get, the more work it takes. We'll never quite "get there".
casey young
* The future tricks us with false hopes, the past with false memories. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Where I live,
I have often looked for a wise man to ask him how he can be so wise,
being the pompous ass that he is;
but I can never find him,
except, perhaps,
glimpsed once in a while as I hurry by in the street,
with a beer can clasped in his hand
and drunk as usual,
whispering secret philosophies at the passing crowd
and as happy as a trout in mid pout in mid-stream.
Seamas Dally
What are the odds that we're alive anyway? Or the odds that we'll keep on living? Go look for what will make you happy. Odds are, you'll find it.
street caribou
If you want to talk about something you understand one thing first: As long as you fart you’re cool – it’s the Buddhist way!
Swami Raj
What a man loves is also a hook used to pluck his heart out and dangle it in front of his dying eyes – and it’s best he not forget this.
Anonymus Anonymous
What do people deserve? They not only deserve to watch adverts before the main feature, but they deserve to watch good adverts as well.
Buddy Blank
WARNING! reading too many aphorisms may call your entire way of life into question.
random stumbler
You may do it quietly, You may do it loudly, You may die doing it, You may do it alone, You may need some help doing it, You may scoff at it, You may define yourself by it, You may cry because of it, You may laugh because of it. But everyone has to save themselves sometime during their lives.
Ben Postlethwait
We spend our whole lives searching for things we couldn't hold on to in the past.
Blake Danielson
If you feel no obligation, you have no obligation.
Ken Tanaka
Joe Cool
If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down.
Brynn Best
* Truth is the art of lying sincerely. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Never trust a man that borrows clothes from his/your sister.
DD VV
Be all about whatever it is that you want to be all about.
DD VV
Have doubt all of the time. If you're smart, you'll work to defy yourself.
Kai Gordon
If you’ve no backup you’re all alone, and a man alone is easy prey.
The Porcupine Kid & the One-Eyed Batman
Nobody likes nice people,
You know how they are,
Spiteful, deceitful and mean—
And that’s only their good points.
Seamas Dally
* Numbers never grow old, that’s why they have nothing in common with age. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The higher your expectations, the less will be your satisfaction.
The higher your hesitation, the more you'll be grateful for having done it.
Nicola Principato - La Pu
Life is unkind, unfair, and probably unnecessary.
Robert Cox
What you accept, is what you are.
Buddy Blank
If you believe in nothing––you can believe what you want—you still can’t prove anything!
Swami Raj
It is their feet of clay that makes heroes heroic.
Julian Lloyd
* As you get older you don't do fewer mistakes, but you do get better at justifying them. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
The surer you are, the easier it is for life to fool you.
marty rubin
You’ve got to be born smart to be very efficient.
Swami Raj
If you can listen
For the sound of one hand clapping,
You’ll eventually have
A long wait
For eternity to respond
To your auto-response.
Seamas Dally
* It's in our nature to make mistakes, that is why we refuse to accept them. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this—that you are dreadfully like other people.
James Russell Lowell
Joe Cool
Hold kittens, puppies, and babies every chance you get.
Ray D’Shramp
Many people think I was raised by wolves, but the reality is, I'm the wolf that was raised by humans.
Jonathan D. Lim
IT'S IMPORTANT TO LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. SOME MISTAKES I LEARN FROM EVERY TIME I MAKE THEM.
Brian Springfield
Nobody gives a rat's arse what you do so long as you go and do it elsewhere, so why not go and do it? But don't go and do it elsewhere, do it here!
Billy B’stard
Time flies like there’s no tomorrow, fruit flies like a banana—split!
John Smith
First time in the desert…? Which way to Vegas…?
Swami Raj
Arrogance is seldom anything other than veiled insecurity.
Chris Carrassi
Use people, and "love it"!
Charlie Bogart
* Time is a trap. You can't live in the past, the present doesn't exist, and the future isn't certain. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously.
Alain de Botton
Arguing which belief is true is like arguing which phantom is real.
marty rubin
Love people and use things.
Jessie Kujak
People have one thing in common: they are all different.
Robert Zind
Joe Cool
Anything that can be said twice must be twice as relevant to the speaker.
Bradly Peevly
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Bad Religion
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Bad Religion
Insanity is a state of mind where you believe in sanity.
Bad Religion
Aphorism, n. Any thing full of wisdom, brevity and wit that, without any let up, is pungently cloying and clinging which deserves to have a Government health warning on the side.
Bosmae Bracier Jr.
The insidious often comes to you in sheep’s clothing, and gives you a good bleating to.
Archie Pratt
I tried to imagine absolute nothingness. I got absolutely nothing.
Nicoleta Pynn
Nowadays, if you want to spend some money on wasted time ring the speaking clock: she only charges 25p for it, however long it takes you to get your rocks off over it.
Charlie Bogart
Real life looks different in the movies: it looks more realistic.
Archie Pratt
Progress is learning what you can live without.
marty rubin
You cannot save
The World
Until you save
Yourself
Niall Smith
That old-time philosopher fellow who meant, “No harm!” – I understand they chopped his head off for it... And a good thing too – at least it made him see sense!
Damon Daemon
We don't change the weather. The weather changes.
marty rubin
There’s a law against following women around in a raincoat so don’t do it; if you feel the urge put your brolly up instead.
Swami Raj
We need some creative juices!
Paloma Marin
Remember one thing: you’ve got ego – that’s all you’ve got! You had better keep it! The whole world is about self-esteem – self-respect: if you haven’t got that you’ve lost everything. There’s no limit to it. You have something there that’s worth everything – that’s all there is to it!
Swami Raj
Let me let you into a little secret...you’re going to die after losing it all.
Swami Raj
Integrity is easy - lie.
Martin Billings
What makes our opponents so useful is that they allow us to believe that without them we would be able to realize our ideals.
Jean Rostand
Joe Cool
You know you're on the wrong track if you're thinking too much.
marty rubin
fear is a better operative.
Junus Eu
Everyday is a winding road. Some days you skip down it, others days you stumble. And some days you just have to focus on staying on the tarmac and not careering off into a verge.
Jennifer Wood
Ah, you’ve got to expect that, with people, you chuck ’em a banana, and they’ll be quite happy with taking an arm and a leg along with it.
Captain Banana––Man!
What a joy it is to be unreasonable at times, especially when everybody hates you for it!
Billy B'stard
Beware of strong old men; they’ll kill you over it.
Allan Boyce
Whether the glass is half-full or half empty depends entirely on what you see in it: either half a glass of something or other, or a clear opportunity, more or less.
Pat Philips & little me
What you don’t quite comprehend you don’t have to worry about: after all, we can’t all be comprehensible.
Charlie Bogart
Secrets are piles of the mind
Alexander Fraser
I'll tell you the truth; the truth is, that's a lie.
Sayde Lo Turco
Misconstruing the situation is all I understand.
Sayde Lo Turco
Don’t simply assume some stranger you’re talking to is as normal as you are, he may only be just as crazy.
Drew Byrne
The real function of any good moral philosophy nowadays is to propound any preposterous theory in theory, but to believe it tongue-in-cheek in practice.
Caroline Dawnay
The truth behind words: isn't that just more words?
marty rubin
Reality is changeable, illusion is changeable, but both are not the same changeability.
Charlie Bogart
Live the dream if you can, but don’t dream to live.
Archie Pratt
Those little luxuries will never hurt anyone used to less, especially wherever they could be financed properly –– but not too much now!
Jim Flanagan
If it’s brown, flush it down; if it’s yellow, leave it there.
Beulah Benson
I'm entertaining ideas tonight, they're over for cheese and wine
Anon Y. Mous
When in doubt, leap. One needs a little courage to live.
marty rubin
Has Facebook ruined our lives? Probably.
Benjamin Wilkinson
If people take their clothes off outdoors, what are they up to inside?
Toby Amies
If one bite fills you, you don't need two.
marty rubin
We cannot live happily apart from our fellow men nor among them. We perish of boredom in the country and of fury in the city.
Brian Stanley
Happiness is a way station between too little and too much.
Channing Pollock
Joe Cool
Laugh! – it’s your bank account! Everybody else will!
Swami Raj
He, who he, who is nobody, who he? He, definitely not somebody?
Jimmy J. Jackson.
After a while, reading other people’s boring twitter can be just as boring as re-reading one’s own.
Drew Byrne
Maybe, as a man does, a cabbage also thinks long and hard about its future, but, as a man does, thinks cabbagey things always.
Peter Pickle
If you believe in winners and losers you're one of the losers.
marty rubin
The real questions start with a yank on the ring-pull of a beer can, and the meaning of life can be written on the back of a crisp packet.
The Porcupine Kid & the One-Eyed Batman
It’s amazing what one can make up on the spur of the moment what is believed without a moment’s hesitation.
Drew Byrne
Words are the great temptation.
marty rubin
All morticians tend to agree at last that living is entirely too time consuming to last.
Pastichelle Peccadillo
All coroners agree: living is the cause of death.
marty rubin
Step lightly upon a young woman’s wiles, she has claws enough for two.
Billy B’stard
Happiness is a warm gun – but be careful where you point it!
The Porcupine Kid & the One-Eyed Batman
When did you realize that negotiation is all, on the job, on the dole, or on the never-never?
The One-Eyed Batman & The Porcupine Kid.
Never cast pearls before swine, as they will gobble them up and eat them and you will be in for a long wait.
The Porcupine Kid & the One-Eyed Batman
There is such a thing as a “stupid” wise man, although he could not possibly be so all the time.
Drew Byrne
If we can become initiates in another peoples’ secrets, we can become one of them!
Billy B’stard
They say…power corrupts, and the power of a Porsche corrupts surreptitiously.
Toby Amies
Without sayings there can be no doings, without doings there can be no sayings.
The Silent One!
To be is to do, to do is to be: do be do be do!
Thee Sages of the Uttermost West
The real truths are those any child can understand.
marty rubin
Try me. I'm always in the mood for something else.
marty rubin
What you hate you can influence, but not as much as it has influenced you.
Drew Byrne
I may be able to bend the substance of the universe to my will, but caravans get in my way.
Toby Amies
Grab things, but not all the time.
Peter Pickle
So much to do, so little reason to care!
Payne Ex Machina
Let us not let how others love define how we love. Yet instead lets,let how we love redefine how others love.
Payne Ex Machina
A fairly smart man will look back at his life, and will remember the good times fondly, while ignoring the bad. A truly wise man will look back and realized that he has learned to love them both.
Payne Ex Machina
Cure? Hell I thought AIDS was the cure!
Payne Ex Machina
To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle.
George Orwell
Joe Cool
Everything’s copasetic until everything goes pear-shaped, then it isn’t anymore as it’s all gone asymmetrical instead.
Andrew Acton
An aphorism without a question at its heart can always be questioned.
Drew Byrne
So much to do, so little time to do it!
Joseph Harries
is it possible to make an aphorism, about an aphorism?
Fiona Dean
Nothing makes a man act so strangely than to think himself immortal, in fact he could end up attempting the impossible just for the sake of the inadmissible.
Andrew Acton
Nobody wants the sun to retire just because it's old.
marty rubin
By implication, for a man to have been diddled out of a can of beer in the night means you have been diddled as well, as it diminishes the concept of manhood.
Swami Raj
What can be said to someone who is lost except, "Go and find yourself, mate"?
Allan Isherwood
The main difficulty in pursuing a normal life is in choosing whether to be an enabler or a naysayer, by which choice you’ll either known as a fool or an idiot.
Drew Byrne
A blind man sees with his cane, like all the rest of us.
marty rubin
Never be blasé over time, as the little horny devil that it is will always have the last laugh.
Damon Daemon
They say pen's mightier than the sword,
But I think that's a joke.
I killed him with the steak knife
where a pen would only poke.
Donna Gowland
If you’re “strange” most people will think you’re “bent”; which is a “queer” way of looking at things that go “hump” in the night.
Graham Norton
To be childish suggests you have missed the point – boy! To say nothing of missing the counter point – boy!
Joe Cool
Optimist – "Opti" meaning "eye", and "mist" meaning "fogged up", you understand.
Anony Mous
A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right.
Thomas Paine
Joe Cool
We no longer know what we feel when we can say what we feel.
marty rubin
Keep your mouth shut for long enough and you'll eat yourself up
Bryony Fraser
Gnomologist: a man with a slight twitch who dresses in a raincoat on sunny days who also likes to examine short, pithy sentences with a large magnifying glass, preferably in a darkened room and generally for the gratification of his own secret pleasures.
Bosmae Bracier Jr.
Man is a magnificent creature: one splendid in ashes and pompous in the dust.
Masked Aphorist
What has the move toward gender equality achieved? My cowardly unwillingness to open doors on behalf of strangers.
Benjamin Wilkinson
You can’t expect a change of scenery if you never veer from the beaten track.
James Geary
At least those with closed minds never have to worry about their brains gathering dust.
Mike Ashton
When a dog is drowning, everyone offers him a drink.
Toby Philpots
Between actions and consequences, there is always Blu-Tack!
Bobby Builder
It takes twelve drunken chimpanzees banging away at twelve typewriters an eternity to produce an exact copy of the complete works of Shakespeare, but it only takes one single illiterate human being with a hangover to spell a basic English noun incorrectly on a Sunday morning...
Joe Cool
The more you stir, the worse it will stink.
Toby Philpots
The charm of the aphorism is the room it makes for inconsistency.
marty rubin
If you can forget the aphorism you learnt by heart this morning by the afteerenoon, you probably already know too much about it anyway.
Drew Byrne
Some phrases are milestones, markers along the road.
marty rubin
A failure always has somebody to blame for his failures, and he always manages to blame somebody else.
Drew Byrne
The fundamental strength of a woman’s character is that she has a man at hand to laugh at, if not with.
Jessica Bumpus
Joe Cool
To make a quick dash, just press-0–0-0-00—0--0—00-0–0 swiftly, Rythemically, repeatedly, with your two forefingers—and a dash will somehow miraculously appear; as it’s much easier that way…after all is said and done.
Robby the Robot
I will not fake myself through life.
Bart Simpson
Joe Cool
How is failure possible? We're always just beginning to live.
marty rubin
All these people at international airports must really think they’re going somewhere – and they are.
The One-Eyed Batman & The Porcupine
If you listen to that little devil on your shoulder for too long, sooner or later he’ll just piss in your ear.
Damon Daemon
20 STRONG, SURE-FOOTED OFFSRPING OF SHADOWFAX
COULD NOT HAVE PULLED ME AWAY FROM THE EMPTY SOUL
I WAS LEFT WITH AFTER JUST NODDING AND GOING ALONG WITH
WHATEVER THEY SAID.
E Muzko
The only thing a man has is his balls and his honour; and it’s what he does with them that make them bounce!
Anonymus Anonymous
If only to improve one’s point of view aphorisms are quite nice to do occasionally, but anyone who goes at it all the time is probably quite barmy...
Drew Byrne
Who amongst us dares to un-mask the Masked Aphorist? Especially the one who dwells so furtively in one’s own heart?
Masked Aphorist
This life is full of bullshit, and it just piles up over time.
Swami Raj
Still waters run deep, if thickos never paddle in it.
Swami Raj
Just running down, boys and girls, just running down...to Elysium.
Old Nob of the Mountain
Da death dat goes da bong da gong, is da death dat goes da bong youz!
Bob Jamaika
An expert is someone who will make the same mistake the next time.
marty rubin
Only the especially qualified can put things back together; recreate the mystery.
Ben Wilkinson
All warfare is based on deception.
Sun Tzu
Joe Cool
Life: what a marvellous absurdity.
Daniel Desbiens,(1954- )
Nathalie Tremblay
A temporary double death in front of the mirror: You close your eyes, and both of you vanish.
Firimita Florin
The pessimists are right. But it does them no good to be right.
marty rubin
Optimism: belief that everything will work out well. Irrational, bordering on insane.
K9
Joe Cool
Avoid thinking of yourself as ordinary; despite being almost certainly true it’s almost always certainly a mistake.
Drew Byrne
Sad songs are such a joy to sing.
marty rubin
If your dick starts hurting...then you’ve probably had enough.
Swami Raj
An atheist would be quite unhappy to wake up in Heaven after a quick nap, but luckily that isn’t going to happen too often, unless they change the door policy.
Damon Daemon
There are more loonies outside the asylums than in, but they all think they’re normal.
Bill Smith
Ah, stupidity gets you done—the easy way––as it’s not that difficult a task.
Bill Smith
Man is everything I hate about Man.
Stephanie Gordon
You shouldn’t listen to the little devil on your shoulder who says it’s too late to do anything worthwhile anymore, even though the little bastard might be right.
Drew Byrne
The best revenge is a happy life.
Rosen Zhelev
You’re walking, talking, feeling fine; given health, there’s nothing better than money.
Swami Raj
You’ve got to understand men, they’re like the wind: a force of Nature!
Swami Raj
A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.
Gian Vincenzo Gravina
Scotchmen are well-balanced individuals – they’ve got chips on both shoulders.
English Ted
Altruist: a person who likes to help people more than they like to be helped.
marty rubin
GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME.
carmen rüter
A stitch in time saves needless procedures later.
jimmy mc allister
A stitch in times saves needless procedures later.
jimmy mc allister
You'll get nowhere fast just standing there.
jimmy mc allister
I got rid of my juggler: I couldn't afford the upkeep.
jimmy mc allister
Verbal onanism is a quick one aphorist.
jimmy mc allister
That is the question?
jimmy mc allister
It is easier to pass a needle through the eye of a rich man than to stay on a camel.
jimmy mc allister
It is easier to pass a needle through the eye of a rich man that to stay on a camel.
jimmy mc allister
He who lasts longest laughs last.
jimmy mc allister
If you clap your hands you're happy and you know it.
jimmy mc allister
Too many cooks spoil the telly.
jimmy mc allister
A turd in the hand is worse threw in the bush.
jimmy mc allister
Plastic surgery leaves a lot to be desired.
jimmy mc allister
On your deathbed you shall receive total enlightenment.
Jack Thade
Anyone can fly, all you have to do is throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Johan Jeansson
If the plumbing were that bad in Heaven, there’d have been a revolution there by now!
Damon Daemon
Taking or giving; it all goes around anyway.
Johan Jeansson
A man's "got" to know his laminations!
Bobby Builder
A man's GOT to know his limitatins.
Swami Raj
Strength is being able to put the boot in, because you can.
Bill Smith
Humour: that curiously inbuilt response which enables you to avoid hitting your neighbour with a crow bar.
Bill Smith
Death always has the last word, and that word is: “Pickle!”
Jack Thade
Death is the ugliest of all dancers, nevertheless she always gets the last dance.
LAURENT APICELLA
We waste this life dreaming of another.
marty rubin
With either respect or a lack of respect, it’s still a matter of respecting boundaries.
Masked Aphorist
Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without you consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt.
Joe Cool
Don't look too far ahead or you'll miss a lot.
marty rubin
To survive the tests is the best way to prove oneself.
Daniel Desbiens
Don’t walk with your head down; you don’t have to apologise for being a human being.
Swami Raj
People just carry on – I just don’t understand it!
Swami Raj
Money and luck run fastest together, but when the money runs out the luck went off first.
Swami Raj
Words are the best bargain. You get them for free, and they never run out.
marty rubin
In his heady desire to be optimistic rather than pessimistic an optimist forgets one thing: if a pessimist could be as optimistic as an optimist likes to be, he would be – gladly.
Max Ploughman
If you’re ambitious you want to get there – that’s the whole point!
Swami Raj
If you’re strong you may survive. One good thing is to keep on trying.
Swami Raj
If life has no meaning, it's not necessary to invent one.
marty rubin
Our little life is monkey-magic in a monkey-puzzle tree.
Drew Byrne
What you choose, is what you are!
Max Ploughman
Determination: something with bells on that you pull to make it jingle for you.
Max Ploughman
Comedy is being able to laugh at tragedy.
Conte De Quelquechose
After wisdom comes wit.
Evan Esar
Wise, are you?
Wise, you are?
Oh, no,
You’re not!
Ol’ Bill Moody
I am so wise,
So wise,
So, so wise;
I am,
Yes, I am:
So, so wise;
Oh,
Yes, I am!
The Wise Man
The wise know that the polestar of prudence lies in adapting themselves to the occasion.
Gracián
Joe Cool
Time spent explaining things is better spent enjoying them.
marty rubin
If it all goes awry – pull yourself together!
Swami Raj
The first thing you must comprehend here is a smack in the chops!
Swami Raj
…and we will never know why they put so much sauce in them…
Swami Raj
Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of travelling.
Margaret Lee Runbeck
* Nothing makes us hate the wisdom of others more than our lack of it. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
What’s the last thing you were mindful of? Now, try and remember what it was twelve minutes from…“now!”
Mr. Tempus Fugit
Look for your wisdom where you can find it; after all, it can’t be found anywhere else any more obvious.
Buddy Blank
Optimists think badly, but live well.
marty rubin
An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it.
Anonymus Anonymous
An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?
Michel de Saint-Pierre
if you're looking for a helping hand, try looking on the end of your arm.
Anonymus Anonymous
A man needs a god to criticise occasionally.
Drew Byrne
Prudence, forethought, and consideration; three wise words found lying on the path to the Magic Mountain.
Jonny Chuckles
Eschew Obfuscation! Espouse Elucidation!
The Big Easy
Is it possible that a man who drinks until he’s drunk, drinks because he likes himself better sober? We may never know, because he’ll more than likely forget all about it in the morning!
Jojo Juju
No, you are not important – that’s the first game rule!
Swami Raj
If you’ve got something to offer – keep your mouth shut!
Swami Raj
One does what one can, not what one can’t.
Abigail Mitchell
* Brevity may be the soul of wit, but it can also be a mercy. Leonid S. Sukhorukov
Leonid Sukhorukov
Today when the pot calls the kettle black, it's meant as a compliment.
marty rubin
Brevity is power.
Josh Billings
Wherever it’s from, money never stinks; but whatever it does, it still takes the piss!
Anonymus Anonymous